Puzzled

[Nuinip]

Actually recently while chatting with a girl on Facebook I got attracted towards her. But she recently told me that she is getting married within 6months and guy with whom she is going to marry is very rich. But I'm very much attracted towards her and told her indirectly all my feelings. But nothing happened. And I'm also 2 years younger to her. My financial status is also not good. What can I do now. Please help. Whenever I chat with her I get more attracted. Only 2 weeks is what when we start our chatting on fb. Please help.

[specialmom]

For me, besides all the stuff that it is hard to have a 'real' romantic relationship that has been strictly online . . . she's about to get married to a 'rich' man.  Two things . . . one, you now know her character.  She will marry a man for money while carrying on with other people behind their back. That's not your dream girl. And second, she's getting married so not dating eligible. She's already taken and you need to leave her alone.

Do you have other means to meet people?  

[Chima7]

You should ask yourself how you would feel if you were about to marry a woman whom you found out was chatting with another man on Facebook. Put yourself in her fiance's shoes and think about how upset you'd be. Then leave this girl alone and find someone who doesn't already have a boyfriend or a fiance. If you continue to pursue her, knowing that she is about to be married to someone else, that makes you look like a really bad person. Don't do it!

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Nuinip. Online, a person can be whomever you want her to be, an idealized image and not a real human being with real problems. You don't have to know her as a person, you can pick and choose from clues and cues she puts out there, and create an ideal dream woman in your head. It might help you to disengage from your fantasy if you can understand that what you have fallen for is an ideal image is one you made up yourself. She did her best to look good online, as we all do, but you filled in all the blanks with what you want a romantic partner to be. It might help you to understand this when you wake up from your dream -- it's easy to fall in love with a fantasy you made up yourself. It's just not real. Let her go off to her planned marriage, and don't be sad. You didn't really miss out on her, you just had a fantasy that you developed yourself.  

[Nuinip]

Hmmmm... I know I have developed a fantasy but it's hurting me a lot. I always think of her 24*7. What should I do resist my feelings. Should I stop chatting with her or should I continue.

[AnnieBrooke]

A gentleman would say, "I've enjoyed chatting with you very much this past two weeks, but since you are about to be married, possibly I have enjoyed it too much. I feel it would be appropriate, and considerate of your relationship with your fiance, if we no longer continue the communications." Congratulate yourself on your poise, and walk away. And meet a real girl who is a real person that you can sit next to at dinner.

[AnnieBrooke]

My other  comment is that you said "I always think of her 24/7." Well, no you do not think of her, you think of the image that you have created in your mind, which you created out of things you want a woman to be. Enjoy making up a perfect love relationship in your mind, just remember all the time that this image is something you have invented, not something she is. You're doing this the way a novelist creates a character or a filmmaker writes a role for someone to play. Knowing that it is your invention will help you see that most of what you find appealing came out of your own mind. That makes it easier to disengage.