He wants anal sex but I do not. I don't want to loose him...

[chattypatti]

My boyfriend has expressed how much he likes anal sex and how it has been an impotant part of his sex life.  The problem is, I have never liked it.  It is uncomfortable for me and I don't feel it is necessary.  When I tell him that I dont want to do it, he tells me that he would be gentle and do it properly where it wont be painful.  He thinks that if I just gave it a try that I would really like it.  He's getting this idea because other women he has dated would do anal intercourse with him and liked it.  Also, he has a very large penis.  It was difficult enough to take it in my vagina much less the thought of it in my a$$.  He says he just cant understand why I would deny myself such pleasure.  The subject has stressed me out so much that I cant enjoy our relationship.  He is a very loving, affectionate and supportive man so everything except the anal subject has been wonderful.  The affection he gives is not something I've gotten from most men I've dated in the past and it's hard to give that up but at the same time, I dont think anal intercourse is something he is willing to give up either.  I don't know what to do.  Any advise?

[bymon]

This is an old post, but I will put this out there for others. The reality is it will break you up eventually. No matter what anyone else says he has been honest with you. This may sound harsh but it is reality, you either need to learn to enjoy it of leave. This will eat away at your relationship. Childish things like trying to gross him out is ridiculous. He has his right to enjoy what ever it is he likes, and you have the right to not. What you are left with is future conflict. I can tell you even if you speak to him and he says he is fine with it, he will not be, It will come up over and over. You will fight over it, and both of you will be miserable, He is not pressuring you, he is being honest with you. Move on or begin to read and see if it is something you would or could ever enjoy

[specialmom]

This is a really old post---  back from 2010.  

[LogicalOne]

Not to go on and on, but the best thing about tricking him like this is he won't think he's missing out on anything and still think he's got the best sex life ever. Also, if you act like his penis is just "slaying" you in the vagina, he will be happy. I mean, make lots of choking, gasping noises, moans, screams, wriggle away like youre in pain but then come back and thrust him hard like you can't get enough of the pain/pleasure he's causing. Be dramatic and mimic some of the porns he watches. He will think he's quite the stud and you're a sex Goddess and wont be able to get enough of you. Hey, everyone likes their ego stroked, but men cant seem to live without it or they feel like "less of a man." It's stupid, I know, but it works. Btw, I'm 39 and have had sex with almost 100 men plus 8 live-in boyfriends. I love sex and I have definitely learned what keeps 'em coming back for more!

[LogicalOne]

Btw- I've had anal sex one time with several different boyfriends. Allowing, not making it a big deal, loosening it up so it's gaping wide, and discreetly grossing him out works great.

[LogicalOne]

Sexual stimulation is all mental: If he says he wants to try anal and you deny him, he will want what he can't have even more. If you act nonchalant about it and let him stick it in and pull it out with poop all over it, stretching your anus to allow a very loose fit (looser than a in shape vagina that's been actively doing kegals), he will get over it pretty quick, as it will stink and be a loose fit. It works for me anyway. No one likes poop smell or a loose fit. He will get over his little fetish, and won't ask for it again unless he's closeted gay.

[specialmom]

Hi.  This post is TWO years old.  If you'd like to start your own thread, you can go to the top of this community and hit "post question" to do so.  Thanks!