Holding on for all the wrong reasons ?

Question

Hi, I've been dating the same guy for the past 6 years - longer than I ever would have imagined when I first met him.

We work far apart and had a couple of really bad patches during that time, a long distance relationship with 5 hour time difference is not an easy on to maintain. 
There were times over the past year where I was attracted to other male collegues, there were times when we fought and I just didnt want to care anymore. Sometimes I want my own space and dont want to talk to him and after a year of being working apart I seem to have lost the desire to sleep with him .. I still do when we meet, but to me its not a necessity (could it be anything to do with me gaining weight?).

So im wondering .. we've been together for so long .. so is that the only reason were still together ? 
I thought of ending it but I couldnt .. Everytime we hit a rough patch we make it up somehow .. but I dont know if im hanging on to him for all the right reasons or the wrong ones. How do you know if its time to let go ?

pinkdalmation · Answer

we talked about marriage before, but i was a little hesitnt about it. . . we started dating back when i was a university student and i've only just really started to build a career .. so its more like .. some day but not now .. cos i wasnt willing to give everything up just yet . . .

Judy246 · Answer

When you no longer feel love for him. You could love a person as you would love a best friend, without being emotionally in love and usually, long distance relationships do not work out.

If you are doubting your feeling for him and no longer want intimacy...it's time to let him go.

vmvnpv · Answer

Ditto jo and megochick.  6 years is too long without marriage and especially for a long distance relationship.  How serious of a relationship can it be if you hardly see each other?  The sex might be because of you weight gain but I suspect it's because of the distance and not seeing each other as much.  The passion and love is gone.  Have you guys ever planned on marriage or at least moving to the same vicinity?  If not, I don't see this relationship going anywhere.  You don't know what he's doing and he doesn't know what you're doing.  And you don't really get to know each other when the only communication is the phone and email.  The basis of a relationship is spending time together and getting to know each other on a daily basis.  Not just once in awhile.

megochick101 · Answer

I agree with jo. You've been in a relationship for 6 years and neither of you has thought about commitment or marriage??

As to the not wanting to have sex, it could just be your weight gain, I've gained some weight from pregnancy and can't seem to lose it and it really effects the sex life. I don't feel sexy and i don't want to have sex because i don't think i am sexy right now...does that make sense to you at all?

jo929 · Answer

You have wasted 6 years in a relationship that is going nowhere, if he had wanted marriage, it might be different, but why waste time 6 years is to long.  luck  jo