How to move forward from husbands lies about looking at women online multiple times.

[Highschoollove17]

OK me and my spouse are not married but have been together 16 years. We are high school sweethearts. We have 3 kids together and I am so in love with him. And I honestly thought he felt the same.

We have always had communication issues he has trouble expressing his feeling or saying anything nice even a compliment he says it's how he was raised. It was really hard to take and in the beginning we even split for a while but in the end I love this man and I was willing to let go of something I needed and I paid more attention to the little things he does for me to show his love....like getting me a drink and just how hard he works for our family.

Over a month ago I was using his phone to look something up online when mine was dead and it opened to his I chive page with women he was following. I closed the phone down and tried to forget but it got to my and I cried for days I told him how it makes me feel less then that he looks at this stuff. I feel like he doesn't communicate but during sex we connect real intamacy and the thought that he also enjoys looking at other women even visually and uses that sexually really bugs me. .that's the only full part of him that I get its the only thing that makes our relationship different from him and anyone else. Anyways I realize this is crazy sounding to some people and I understand that. He said he wouldn't do it anymore because he sees how it  hurts me. He promised and we were working through it.

2 weeks later I am in his email to deal with things for our house and see that he's still getting emails and checking them from these sites that upset me. He said he acidentally clicked it and he wouldn't do that. This time I checked his email because I don't trust him...I am not proud of it but I did it and yes he is still using and looking at the things he knows hurts my feeling and he promised he wouldn't do it.

How can I possibly move past this has lied right to my face multiple times about something he know would hurt my feeling but didn't care and did anyway. What else has he lied to me about...when he works away what's he doing and who is he with. I can I move past this....how do I know when it's worth working on and when I need to get out :( I am completely broken.

[specialmom]

ugh, sorry.  It's hard.  Please know that many, MANY men look at other women and it is meaningless.  They are visual. You are high school sweethearts, have built a life together, etc. so looking at pics of other women doesn't sound like a deal breaker to me.  Could he be curious?  Are you the only person he's ever had sex with?  This does not mean he'll act on it most likely.  Looking at pics/video is not cheating.  (In my opinion).  If he is interacting--  chatting, email, etc. that is a different matter entirely.  He lied because he knew he was in trouble.  He doesn't want to hurt you.  He maybe doesn't feel the same as you do about it.   Try talking in a more open way to hear what HE has to say about it. good luck hon.