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Hurt feelings,, what should I do??
Ok my boyfriend and I love eachother very much , it's been nearly 7months and the sex is incredible but there is one lil thing that bugs me. He always complains that my vagina smells really bad. I mean, I know that yeah it does have a slight smell but I think he's being over the top abd fussy. It really hurts my feelings though,, I just feel really insecure especially when he tries to go down on me. I mean I enjoy it but I'm always thinking 'omg what if I smell bad today' and it just makes the experience less enjoyable for me. Having said that,, it took me AGES to get him to go down on me. He's just been really fussy saying it smells bad :/ ughh it may sound petty but it really hurts me and when I tell him not to say it cos it makes me insecure, he just goes 'oh it's okay I can buy you a special soap for that' and that hurts waaaaay more ): I'm just really upset I feel like crap. I cnt really explain how I feel it just hurts. I don't think I can talk to him about it and I dnt really want to. I'd feel to awkward! What should I do guys please I need advice ! I'm clean I shower everyday and sometimes twice a day. I always wash down there like 5 times before I see him. I'm very hygenic !! HELP x
I know this has been a long time and we are in 2018 but I wanna share my experience. My situation is similar I him about 4 years ago. We have a son together. I have no STD or any infection of any sort. I have been tested. I have been by my gynecologist and i am fine. I have a natural vagina scent. Its sexy and i bf before never complained. I did broke up with him cuz he constantly disrespected me and then we came back together. i have had 2 miscarriages and the last one i bleed for almost 3 months and i cud have died cuz i lost so much blood. i always take a shower and btw i am a clean freak. after my miscarriage i have been checked and i am fine. he always wants me to go down on him but his precum is smelly and when i pull back his foreskin it stinks at times. he wears the same underwear over, his clothes is worn over, he doesnt shower at times, he doesnt brush his teeth when he wakes, he goes to work without brushing his teeth, he dribbles and the sheet and everything stinks. so he has been with other women and so did i but i know i am checked and clean. so he is like u been with other people that why u have a smell and i am like how stupid are u because u have been with other girls so how cud that define anything. when we have sex he wud smell his hands right in front of me and ask wat is that smell. but the ting is i only have a normal healthy smell. he like its weird. if he touches me or fingers me he wud be smelling his finger. i noticed that he wud sometimes go outside and smeel his hands so i wouldnt see. i feel so dumb laying with someone like this i dont even have the desire to do it. he always try to make me look like i am unclean and i stink which is totally d opposite. if on d phone he wud be like i wanna tel u something and i know u will feel bad and then he proceeds it is like he tryna make me feel low about myself for him to feel good. i feel really hurt i have never told him d things about him and he has the guts to try to make me feel like this. he walks around like mr clean man, i sometimes doesnt want him in me because of that smell . when he breaks in me and its time for his break to come out it smells. his semen burns my mouth at 1 time when i went down on him. he keeps complaining that i have a smell when its my natural scent. i love my scent its refreshing and makes u wanna have sex lol jus saying cuz i know how i smell. sorry its long. i am so fed up cuz he always want to talk about me an nothing about him.
1 Comments
Hey, thanks for writing this. Hope you come back and visit our forum more often as you have a lot of good insight!!
He's deeply offended but so am I about his funky smell that's making me irate too as well as nauseous!
This is a very delicate matter indeed. My boyfriend got angry almost violent when I said it's not normal behaviour to wear the same sweaty smelly clothes and repeat the next day and the next day and the next day sleep in them sweat in them and wear them for an intire week with skid marks and all and I'm having to grit my teeth and bare it. I feel physical sick when I can smell his stinky sweaty clothes like I want to throw up. I'm so extreamly grossed out by this I feel physiacally like I want to throw up!
Wow, I'm so glad I found this thread! So, I literally just dumped someone last night, because he was a lot like your bf. He was constantly making comments about how I smelled - that he didn't like it, that it was too strong, that it wasn't his "thing". But the funny thing is, when we first met, he would say that he liked it, how he usually doesn't like a woman's scent, but he liked mine. But after a few weeks of dating, when we got settled in, he was over it. I wasn't new and exciting anymore, there was no need to court me, so now my scent turned him off. Nothing changed about me, except for the fact that we were now comfortable.
Before meeting him, I had a healthy sense of self confidence. I felt good about my body, and about myself sexually. I noticed though, that this relationship with this man was chipping away at my self esteem. I started feeling bad about my body. I felt unsexy for the first time in my life! It was awful. He would complain about my scent, that it turned him off, that it was too strong, that smelled up the room. He would make faces along with his comments, sometimes would jerk his body away as if he was repelled by it. He even lost his erection once. Eventually, he would hardly touch my vagina. I would have to ask him to touch me, and it would be a petty touch, and then he would wipe his fingers off on my thigh. It was TERRIBLE.
After a couple weeks of communicating with him and trying to work thing out (he said he wanted to try), nothing changed, except for my self esteem. I felt bad about myself. I saw that he had started to damage my self esteem, and that was the last straw. It wasn't worth it! He was a jerk. I think he knew he was being a jerk too.
NEVER LET A MAN MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're a goddess. Any man that can't appreciate you, all of you, is a fool. Don't give him any of all that goodness you are. He doesn't deserve you.
<3
Before meeting him, I had a healthy sense of self confidence. I felt good about my body, and about myself sexually. I noticed though, that this relationship with this man was chipping away at my self esteem. I started feeling bad about my body. I felt unsexy for the first time in my life! It was awful. He would complain about my scent, that it turned him off, that it was too strong, that smelled up the room. He would make faces along with his comments, sometimes would jerk his body away as if he was repelled by it. He even lost his erection once. Eventually, he would hardly touch my vagina. I would have to ask him to touch me, and it would be a petty touch, and then he would wipe his fingers off on my thigh. It was TERRIBLE.
After a couple weeks of communicating with him and trying to work thing out (he said he wanted to try), nothing changed, except for my self esteem. I felt bad about myself. I saw that he had started to damage my self esteem, and that was the last straw. It wasn't worth it! He was a jerk. I think he knew he was being a jerk too.
NEVER LET A MAN MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're a goddess. Any man that can't appreciate you, all of you, is a fool. Don't give him any of all that goodness you are. He doesn't deserve you.
<3
1 Comments
I know it's been a long time since this thread but I would like to provide my input and experience. I enjoyed a strong loving relationship with somebody who seemed to love me deeply and strongly. We were each other's first love when we were teenagers and found me on facebook again after 26 years. It was a passionate love with travels and promises that we would be together forever and all these ********!! Note Suddenly after a few months I noticed he wouldn't go down on me. When I asked him to give me oral sex he approached me and then said ..."your ***** smell like lamb"..keep in mind that I had my pap test a week before and I was perfectly all right!! Also, I had a shower half an hour before. He then asked me to have another shower and he washed me himself. When we went back to bed and tried to give me oral sex again he had an expression of repulse on his face and said...ewwee I cant!!! That hurt me so much!!!! But still we did make love as we had a long distance relationship and did not want to disappoint him. Every time he put his fingers inside of me in the middle of the love making process he went to wash his hands!! Note that during our stay he made other inappropriate comments like for example I used to go to pee quite often as I had a lot tea..he would say...do you have an infection? or I had a shower before we went out for dinner (having dinner in the hotel with full air conditioning) when we came back after an hour he demanded I had another shower as there was ...dust and ... germs in the public areas!! Once I went to poo and I didn't look back and he came to me and said that there was a piece of ..**** stuck in the toilet's sink!!! When I coughed (not from a disease or anything) he would say...are you sick? Note that my (now ex) boyfriend is a Chinese national and I am Western. Note that he was wearing the same t-shirt for 2,5 days, he wouldn't brush his teeth before going to bed and he would't wash his body with a soap because it is toxic!!! But he would wear deodorant (isn't that toxic) and perfume (isn't that toxic also). Also, he wouldn't allow me to smoke before I gave him oral sex because he said...I would give infection to his penis. Anyway, when I came back to my country I couldn't get over it and confronted him. The bad thing was I compared him with my previous ex (he knew what an ******* he was) however he would never insult me in such a way. He told me...the smell was there all along but he didn't say anything before, but that day was unbearable and he couldn't withstand it! Due to the cultural differences I also had issues but never hurt him and I was fully aware that this was normal (i.e penis size).What happened was??? He said ... it seems we are not so compatible as he thought we were!! And broke up!! He left me!! He left me instead of me leaving him first!!! And he broke up with me with a text! I got very angry and emailed him a very angry message taking out all my poison! That I shouldn't have done!! A woman deserves to be respected and treated properly and gently. I feel now that my womanhood has been destroyed by a simple comment!! I am trying to find myself again but I really don't know how I would react if I have another relationship. Love yourself and don't allow any guy to put you down!!! Know who you really are!!!!! Nobody deserves that much!!!
I realize this is an old post but, none the less, I want to enter my 2 cents!!
I've noticed that P$ssy smells pretty darn sweet, REALLY REALLY SWEET!! when We are not having sex!!!!
My point is - if we WERE not, ARE not, being sexually active - we have NO problems. Our Guys have their "jollys" and then they "pick up and leave" - WE are the ones left behind to deal with the "smells" that We would not be having otherwise!! It's the ramification of YOUR smell that we are dealing with!!
We are now at 2012 and it's STILL a "man's world"!!. They want NOT to take responsibility for THEIR own contribution to what They leave US to deal with!! Example: They ALSO want to eat, but They often do not CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN!! It's on US to fix up, clean up the messes THEY leave behind and that includes OUR VAGINAS!!
It's wrong, it's very, very WRONG for them to leave THEIR mess (bodily fluid) behind and then to complain like it's OUR problem, OUR issue to try to remedy and clean up what THEY leave us to deal with. I mean, think about it, Ladies - This is RUDE!!, VERY, VERY RUDE!!!!....just saying.
I've noticed that P$ssy smells pretty darn sweet, REALLY REALLY SWEET!! when We are not having sex!!!!
My point is - if we WERE not, ARE not, being sexually active - we have NO problems. Our Guys have their "jollys" and then they "pick up and leave" - WE are the ones left behind to deal with the "smells" that We would not be having otherwise!! It's the ramification of YOUR smell that we are dealing with!!
We are now at 2012 and it's STILL a "man's world"!!. They want NOT to take responsibility for THEIR own contribution to what They leave US to deal with!! Example: They ALSO want to eat, but They often do not CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN!! It's on US to fix up, clean up the messes THEY leave behind and that includes OUR VAGINAS!!
It's wrong, it's very, very WRONG for them to leave THEIR mess (bodily fluid) behind and then to complain like it's OUR problem, OUR issue to try to remedy and clean up what THEY leave us to deal with. I mean, think about it, Ladies - This is RUDE!!, VERY, VERY RUDE!!!!....just saying.
get shut of your boyfriend. he obviously isnt making u happy.
a loving relationship should be a strong one, not where u have to question yourself because of comments he makes. lifes too short to be anything but happy x
a loving relationship should be a strong one, not where u have to question yourself because of comments he makes. lifes too short to be anything but happy x
Oh, and I just HAVE to say....even though this is an old thread....I sure hope the girl dumped the "douche-bag". Sorry....couldn't RESIST! It was just too appropriate. No offense meant. :o)
Actually, while yogurt is generally good for you (ORALLY....NEVER EVER put anything in the vagina that isn't made for it, or suited for it, sheesh)...the idea that ingesting yogurt can prevent or cure a yeast infection isn't true. It's basically a wives' tale. I've asked countless docs...you would have to eat Yoplait's entire daily shipment in ONE day to have that effect. Same way with the cranberry juice/urinary health deal....you would have to drink gallons. Still, both yogurt and cranberry juice are good for you anyway...just don't expect miracles, lol. I personally like MY cranberry juice with vodka...and that works. I quickly forget about any symptom I may have had! ;0)
On the other hand, the oral supplements (like Lactinex, or a cranberry pill) CAN be more beneficial because of the amount present in the pills/capsules. The docs I work automatically put a patient on Lactinex prophylactically while they are on an antibiotic (and for about a week after). But again, as a dietary (food) supplement, it's just not feasible.
Douching is not recommended. There should never be a time where it was necessary to douche, unless it was directed by your doc for a medical reason (which is rare). You don't have to douche after your period, if you THINK you have strong odor, because you think you aren't "clean" nothing....no reason is appropriate. Douching interrupts the natural balance of the vagina, the normal flora (the GOOD bacteria) and can actually lead to yeast infections, among other things. That's basically the same idea as overdoing it with antibiotics. That will interrupt the normal flora of the colon, which can lead to a serious bacterial infection called c-diff.
Now, sometimes we're a bit more self conscious about odor than others. We all have those days. The wipes/washes for EXTERNAL use only are a nice product. They really don't DO much but mask the odor like a perfume would, but sometimes, it benefits US, so WE are not as focused on the smell (especially when mother nature is visiting). That being said, ANY new odor that isn't something you've noticed before should always be assessed by your doctor first. Things like BV and other infections need treated, and a foul odor is one of the trademark symptoms.
Unless there is a specific medical condition, there is no need to EVER "treat" a vaginal odor, or discharge. It's all part of our cycles, and how our body is supposed to function. Just think of the v-jay-jay as a well oiled machine....it should only need an annual "under the hood" check up (pun most DEFINITELY intended!! LOL)
On the other hand, the oral supplements (like Lactinex, or a cranberry pill) CAN be more beneficial because of the amount present in the pills/capsules. The docs I work automatically put a patient on Lactinex prophylactically while they are on an antibiotic (and for about a week after). But again, as a dietary (food) supplement, it's just not feasible.
Douching is not recommended. There should never be a time where it was necessary to douche, unless it was directed by your doc for a medical reason (which is rare). You don't have to douche after your period, if you THINK you have strong odor, because you think you aren't "clean" nothing....no reason is appropriate. Douching interrupts the natural balance of the vagina, the normal flora (the GOOD bacteria) and can actually lead to yeast infections, among other things. That's basically the same idea as overdoing it with antibiotics. That will interrupt the normal flora of the colon, which can lead to a serious bacterial infection called c-diff.
Now, sometimes we're a bit more self conscious about odor than others. We all have those days. The wipes/washes for EXTERNAL use only are a nice product. They really don't DO much but mask the odor like a perfume would, but sometimes, it benefits US, so WE are not as focused on the smell (especially when mother nature is visiting). That being said, ANY new odor that isn't something you've noticed before should always be assessed by your doctor first. Things like BV and other infections need treated, and a foul odor is one of the trademark symptoms.
Unless there is a specific medical condition, there is no need to EVER "treat" a vaginal odor, or discharge. It's all part of our cycles, and how our body is supposed to function. Just think of the v-jay-jay as a well oiled machine....it should only need an annual "under the hood" check up (pun most DEFINITELY intended!! LOL)
I think EATING yogurt, as medical professionals recommend, will provide all the "good bacteria" necessary. And, I agree with SM about douching...it's no longer a healthy practice unless ordered by a physician for a very specific condition.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh boy. I'm not sure about some of these recommendations. For a long time now we've known that douching actually has the opposite effect and is not a great idea for us. And using fruits and yogurt . . .
Well, anyway, I'm thinking that the best thing is to consult a physician. They'll be best equipped to tell you what is going on. Peace and luck to all.
Well, anyway, I'm thinking that the best thing is to consult a physician. They'll be best equipped to tell you what is going on. Peace and luck to all.
I am a junior gyno. one of the most popular reason for vaginal smell is the use of cheap after market tampons they tend to disintergrate very rapidly leaving rotten decomposing tanpon and blood mixture it can get stuck in there for a very long time.cure and precaution use name brand products,use a medicated dush and follow up with a masingil mountain herb dush.you will make everyone happy especialy you,good luck HONESTAL
yea he sound pretty childish to me but at th same time some people act like they hate somethin and really be in love wit it like i always tell people i hate really skinny girls but in reality i love them so he might be in love the way vagina smells
Do you know what I would do? I would correct him everytime he made a hurtful comment, "there is nothing wrong with me and I don't appreciate your hurtful comments" and not let him go down on you, until he is truly ready. I agree with the other, it's him and not you. He just doesn't like going down at all, so tell him if this is something he does not want to do, then don't do it, but not to offend you either. Hygine is extremely important to avoid infections and odor, but it's natural for us to have odor, that's why we douch and bath. I would go to the gyne if I felt it was necessary and didn't feel well, but if you feel all is well, the issue is him, not you.
Is this serious? Does your boyfriend really do this!?? This is horrible and cruel and if i were you i'd leave him now!
Thanks for all your input guys!! I now know what to do thanks so much ! At first I thought it was me but maybe it us him being a jerk lol thanks once again.
I'd ditch this guy. It's like he's purposely trying to make you feel dirty and insecure.
He's insenitive and weird. Seriously, if a guy has a problem with a woman's natural odor "in general" and it's not just you or anything wrong with you, but then then goes out of his way to do things like smell his finger afterwards just to make a snide comment to you about your smell, that is just weird and mean.
He says he does it because he likes making you feel good? Then what, he gets just as much pleasure cutting you down after pleasuring you?
Not at all normal.
What an insensitive jerk.
I'd dump him.
He's insenitive and weird. Seriously, if a guy has a problem with a woman's natural odor "in general" and it's not just you or anything wrong with you, but then then goes out of his way to do things like smell his finger afterwards just to make a snide comment to you about your smell, that is just weird and mean.
He says he does it because he likes making you feel good? Then what, he gets just as much pleasure cutting you down after pleasuring you?
Not at all normal.
What an insensitive jerk.
I'd dump him.
They say everyone of us have our own unique scent. They say it is one of the things that attract us to each other. Could it be yours and his scent are just not compatible. It could also be that your bf is just being a jerk.
I agree with the last 3 posts. I've been with my husband for about 8 years and I KNOW i don't smell like roses every time and he's never complained in a serious manner, although he said it once jokingly and, after smelling to see what he was talking about, I whole-heartedly agreed and took a nice long bath LOL.
I've heard that Thai food (the spices in it, at any rate) can cause your fluids to smell and taste like vanilla but the girl who told me that was a little weird so I have no idea if it's true...but I really don't think this is your problem, I think it's his and he has no call to make you feel insecure about your body's natural smells. If you had a problem that was out of control, I could see him commenting because he was concerned ....but he needs to get over it and stop being so insensitive or you need to leave and be with a partner who loves every part of you...the good, the bad, and the (not-so) stinky.
I've heard that Thai food (the spices in it, at any rate) can cause your fluids to smell and taste like vanilla but the girl who told me that was a little weird so I have no idea if it's true...but I really don't think this is your problem, I think it's his and he has no call to make you feel insecure about your body's natural smells. If you had a problem that was out of control, I could see him commenting because he was concerned ....but he needs to get over it and stop being so insensitive or you need to leave and be with a partner who loves every part of you...the good, the bad, and the (not-so) stinky.
I have never complained about the smell of a partner's vagina..There are times it may not be the most pleasant but I'm sure my smell isn't always that pleasant either. But I recognize most of the odors as "natural" and enjoy performing oral regardless.
I think this guy has a problem.
Jim
I think this guy has a problem.
Jim
merrmerr, I think there's something fundamentally wrong with him sexually. I really mean that.
His desire to make you feel dirty and unworthy - during a sex act - is not a good quality in a boyfriend.
If he were trying to avoid the smell, and trying to do acts that caused him not to come in contact with the smell but still have sex, that would seem totally different.
You probably won't take this advice, but this guy isn't good partner material.
His desire to make you feel dirty and unworthy - during a sex act - is not a good quality in a boyfriend.
If he were trying to avoid the smell, and trying to do acts that caused him not to come in contact with the smell but still have sex, that would seem totally different.
You probably won't take this advice, but this guy isn't good partner material.
I wouldn't feel comfortable staying with a man who makes me feel bad about myself. By staying with him you either need to develop a thicker skin and not let his comments bother you or you leave him and find a man who doesn't have issues with your odor. Has he felt this way about other girlfriends he has had or is it just you?
If it's not a gynecological problem, it may very well be a dietary issue, especially if you eat spicy foods and anything prepared with garlic... on a regular basis. If they're part of your diet, try eliminating those. You might also want to try drinking fruit beverages like grape, apple or pineapple juice for about about 4 days prior to oral sex and see if there's a noticeable change and improved odor/ taste.
Sometimess he'd finger me and then sniff his fingers n shudder. right in front of me! N it really hurts I'm sorry if I sound stupid but it really really does hurt . . It makes me feel 'dirty' I mean Ive tried but it's like I can't do anything about my smell I already shower twice a day . . Once I had a shower just before he fingered me and he was STILL making sick faces! I've now started using 'fem fresh' a vaginal wash i've seen a slight improvement but my boyfriend is still being fussy . . It's really upsetting and I'm extremely insecure cos of it now. And then I tell him 'oh if you dnt like it so much then don't go down on me or touch me there' and he just goes 'noo but I like doing it cos I love making you feel good' ahhhh! so confusingg tbhh! I want him to do it cos HE loves IT. Not do it cos I love it
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