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Husband not interested in sex

I'm married for 3 years and since the last 2 years I've noticed my husband isn't interested in sex. The last time we did was probably 4 months ago. I try to talk to him about it, but that doesn't help either. What could be the reasons?
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Have you asked him directly?

There are so many reasons why a man may not be interested in having sex with you, but without his opening up and being honest, you'll never truly know why

1) Problems in the marriage. Did he and you have a falling out a year ago, when the sex with you stopped?

2) Does he have access to a computer, is there  a possibility that he is watching porn? Some men are raised believing that it's okay to have relations with a sex trade worker. Have you ever heard of his family or friends using sex trade workers, or watching pornography on the computer.? or having online relationships?

3) 4There may be a possibility that he has low testosterone. As his wife, it would be normal for you to discuss this with him and ask him to see his doctor to be tested. Maybe there are other tests that can be taken to rule out any other health problem.

" To diagnose low testosterone (male hypogonadism)—and what's causing it—your doctor will do several exams and tests. These will help him/her make an accurate diagnosis. A simple blood test can reveal your testosterone level."

4) Do you kiss him goodbye or hello ? Do you touch outside of the bedroom. It's easy enough for men or women to be less sexual, if there is no intimacy shown outside of the bedroom. If you don't kiss him outside of the bedroom, try to give him a kiss and hug everyday. Try to be romantic and it might cause something to happen in the bedroom. ie. Ask to give him a massage.

5) Is he under a lot of stress, financially or with job performance? Does he like his job or is he just working to make a living? Are there any unresolved family problems? Stress and the inability to manage stress effectively, with exercise or communication, can be the cause of impotence.

6) Masturbation is a problem in many marriages. Men that get used to masturbating may find that easier and more gratifying that the act of intercourse. If a man get's used to a gripping motion, as oppose to vaginal sex, obviously the gripping motion can be held tighter on their person, If that's what he's used to, it might be that regular sex is not as satisfying.

As i said, there are many reasons, not all of them here. I was somewhat concerned about giving you many of the reasons, fearing it might be intimidating to you, but you did ask specifically the reasons why men might not want sex.

You need to try to get him talking.

I'm wondering how old you both are. That, too, might be part of the reason. The answers might be different if you are in your 20's 30's as opposed to a second or third marriage, where you would be in your 50's or 60's. so knowing your ages would help us help you.

Have no fear. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. There is help out there, the biggest hurdle is to get him to talk to you. and for you to be respectful in the way you bring it up to him. (not saying that you won't, just saying it could be very harmful to not be very sensitive when talking to him about it).

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3060903 tn?1398565123
Now, How to talk to your husband about a sexless marriage ?

Here are some ideas..


God bless. Hope it helps. I'm here if you want to talk privately, you can send a private message on my profile page.. Liz
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