I have an update on my previous question.

[5sos4222]

So I posted before about what it meant when she said that long text. But she texted me earlier this morning saying that she's so sorry and I quote "I don't wanna be with him" so then I said it's okay if she really wants to be with him and that she doesn't have to hide it from me, where she then said "Noooo no no you took that the wrong way then. It's like every time I really like someone else and thing start getting kinda serious I end up ruining it ba cause of my relationship with him. I do want you but I just wanna shake this feeling. Last time this happened between us we fought and you left and when I tried apologizing you were already a thing with Sabrina" (Sabrina is my ex but me and this girl talked before then)

[Lee_1989]

Well, after the clarification, it sounds like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. I would say, be intentional with her. If you want to date her, tell her in no uncertain manner. That means something along the lines of: "____, I really like you and want to take you on a date. Are you free this weekend?" and she'll probably say yes, but proceed with caution. Guard your heart, but be real with her. Just don't get too attached since you know that she might end up pulling away from you, due to HER OWN issues. And if that happens, don't take it personally. Relationships at your age aren't meant to last, as sad as it is. They're just for fun and for practice (and I don't mean practicing sex). Bottom line: if you like this girl enough to think that she'd be worth the heartbreak in the end, then go for it. Update us if you want!

[Nighthawk61]

When a couple breaks apart , often they remain connected by their friendship often by way of necessity for the sake of the children. In a purely adult world, this type of thing is somewhat the norm, or the ideal at the least. It only works however, because the ex spouses are no longer emotionally connected or "in love" with their ex. New spouses don't need to be overly concerned about the "exes" as everything is transparent and above board. That's how it's able to work...

The waters in your case, as you've presented it here, are somewhat muddy. We don't know whether there is a love interest happening between this girl and her first love or not.

You've only said..."Noooo no no you took that the wrong way then. It's like every time I really like someone else and thing start getting kinda serious I end up ruining it ba cause of my relationship with him"

Do you think that you are over reacting to whatever connection that she has with what was her first love?  Are you being jealous and reactive when you shouldn't be? There is more than one school of thought about whether a person can stay friends with their ex. What is your thought on the subject?

One thing i need clarified is what this means to you . You've stated that she said.......  . "I do want you but I just wanna shake this feeling."
What feeling is she talking about here ? because i can't figure it out ,,,

Last time this happened between us we fought and you left and when I tried apologizing you were already a thing with Sabrina. My question to you is this. Are you friends with Sabrina , like she is friends with her ex?

[Londres70]

Good advice has been given for this post and your initial post and the consenses was and is that you shouldn't pursue this.  

All the best.

[5sos4222]

And I'm not obsessing over what any girl is saying. You act as though this girl is the only thing I care about, I do school activities and I get good grades and play sports. I was just doing a normal thing in asking for advice

[Londres70]

It doesn't change my advice; it just clarified what I thought.  

I will add you should probably find and focus on activities, situations and people who are going to benefit you and this situation with this girl isn't.  Focus on school and your future and not on this nonsense with the text messages and what she said and then didn't say, and what she meant, etc.

I don't think any relationship under the age of 18 can be considered serious especially when she started dating this guy @ 13.  

I wouldn't put anymore thought into this. The mind of a teenage girl can be ever-changing and that's pretty normal.  It isn't so normal to be obssessing over every word a teenage girl says.

[5sos4222]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I would like to clarify that it's not as though she just got done with this guy. They dated for 2 and a half years but they've been broken up for almost a year is what I understand. I'm 17 and she's 16 so I guess it's like that's the first serious relationship she's had, I don't know if that changes anyone's advice or not

[Lee_1989]

She really doesn't know what she wants. It sounds like she is unable to distance herself from her ex? Or maybe he's her current boyfriend? I'm not sure, but either way, if she can't say "no" to this guy, you don't want her. She will break your heart. I know you really like her, its obvious. But I think the timing is just wrong. Give her some time to grow up and figure out what she wants. You deserve a girl who ONLY wants you.

[Londres70]

Agree with the other posters.  

All the best.

[specialmom]

This is a little hard to follow to be honest.  My best advice is to not get wrapped up in overthinking this.  Life is too short.  You don't need back and forth drama and ruminating over things like this if you are a teen.  good luck

[Nighthawk61]

It REALLY helps if you fill out your profile with your age and whereabouts..
helps people reply and comment...

sound like typically a girl that is wanting to play the field and have more than one boy interested (that's why she' flirted with you before being finished with this other guy) in her at the same time, probably so that she figures if she has overlapping males, she' ll not ever have to be alone, which is another problem with many young ladies... Those that are in constant need of a boyfriend, usually are not prioritizing their studies or their career or future plans as much as they should, in other words  maybe  a slow learning .. or not very future forward ?  BEWARE , find someone with a whole lot less drama to date and make sure they are not all about hanging on to a guy or two ..for self esteem...

[Londres70]

How old are you two?  Either this is a teenage girl or a very young immature woman.

Again, this girl is not in a good place to be starting any relationship with anyone.

She doesn't know WHO or WHAT she wants, so I would steer clear away from her and find someone who KNOWS what and who she wants.

[Chima7]

I think the bottom line is, she is very confused and literally doesn't know what she wants. If you're trying to be her boyfriend, she is clearly way too confused to know whether that would work for her either.  Your best bet is to just leave her be to let her figure it out (if she ever does) and don't put your life on hold waiting for her. There are plenty of other girls out there who would not be stringing out along like this that would be 100 times better for you to spend your time with.