My girlfriend and I have trouble talking.

[Xandal]

My girlfriend and I are having so much trouble talking with each other.  I'm 18 and she's 15, we live a few states away from each other, and all we get to do together while we are apart is talk.  When we are together in person we have very little problems talking, and if there is awkward silence it's just there for a few seconds.  We've been together a year and recently we've just been having trouble talking.  We talk about our day and simple things like that but after that conversation dies fast.  We blame each other for why we have problems and when we start saying why all we end up doing is arguing.  We've had experiences where we sat there for at least half an hour not talking to each other because neither of us could figure something out.  We don't really get to do much together from so far away, and all suggestions I've made have been shot down.  All she really seems to care about is talking and when that doesn't happen one night she gets mad or upset and just acts distant.  I'm really not sure what to do, but the lack of communication just seems to be driving us apart.

Thank you in advance and I apologize for the message being a bit jumbled, but it should still get the general point across.

[iam1butterfly]

"We both feel that we are meant to be"

What a beautifully expressed sentiment!
It sounds like she's struggling emotionally and, maybe that's the interactive awkwardness that your sensing. But, you won't really know what's going on with her unless you ask her... or, for that matter, if she's willing to let you in on her inner-most feelings. You may even have to work a bit at drawing it out of her because some people, young and old, don't do well when it comes to expressing their thoughts and emotions. Anyway, The best thing for both of you is openly discuss which direction you both want the relationship to go. Then, let things flow from there.
You sound like a very loving and sensitive young man... and, I think that your girl is lucky to have you in her life. But, because of her youth and inexperience, you may have to be more patient with her. Give her time. Good luck to both of you.

[Xandal]

We both feel that we are meant to be*  - I'm a bit picky with my wording.

[Xandal]

I mean no disrespect as well in this response.  I'm only adding to the story to give a more in depth look at it.  We've both been in love for a long time, possibly before we even started going out.  And all we want to do is re-connect and enjoy each other.

I understand that distance is hard, and we both accepted that as a challenge.  We're both looking to overcome it, and we spend more time together than most couples in distance relationships.  We spend at least a week together about every month.  Sometimes longer waits, sometimes longer stays.  Also, College is a huge thing for me and I've been looking at schools all over.  And I would like to attend to colleges near her, as many of them are appealing in a lot of aspects.  Oh, and both of us are very well off in school.  I carried a 90+ through my Senior year and she has all A's and B's, not everyone is a perfect scholar.

We both feel that we were meant to be, so much feels so right.  But recently things have just been off.  And we both feel it's the lack of communication.  I do agree with you that we don't know each other as well as we could, but neither of us know how to overcome that.  My only idea is that it includes spending time together in person, and that only time will teach us about one another.

I appreciate your response, but accepting defeat and giving up something we both enjoy and love isn't an acceptable approach to a rut.  Thank you, and I hope that with more insight someone, or you, will be able to help in a different way.

[Judy246]

The lack of communication is caused by distance between you both living in different states and different stages of maturity. She is only 15 yrs. (not a kid, but not an adult either) and rightfully so under her parents roof where she belongs at this age. She is neither physically, mentally or emotionall ready to be in an exclusive committed relationship at this time. Both your focus should be on school, making the grade and planning college. Although some long distance relationships work out, most don't because the don't see each other, spend quality time together needed for growth. When you do see each other, the awkward silence is due to really not knowing the person who is in front of each other.

I also want to mention and I mean absolutely no disrespect to you that she's still a little girl just starting to find her way in life and should be in school, making the grade and good friends. She is not ready to be in an exclusive committed relationship yet and has a lot of growing up to do. You should be thinking about college and when you are in college it's just fantastic. You meet people from all over the world and where else will you find thousands of young men and women of the same age, learning, exploring, venturing and working towards a future career and simply dating.

You both have your entire life ahead of you and she's just too young to be in a relationship right now. I always say if it is meant to be, it will happen, but the lack of communication comes from distance, imaturity on her part and ever chaning life. I wish you lots of luck and life has a way of falling into place, so take your time young man, don't you rush to grow old...Hugs, Judy