Painful breakup

[Twinn_Nolaa]

So just a couple days ago, my boyfriend of 6 months (well, ex now) broke up with me in front of a good friend of his. We had gotten into an argument in that started when we were trying to think of a place to go eat. I suggested an area of town where i think has the best restaurants and my boyfriend got mad either because I didn't specify it in time or because I didn't give a restaurant's specific name. This hay-wired into a huge argument concerning past actions. (( Just a few weeks ago, we gotten into argument at his house and he left me there crying, so I had a friend pick me up. It was a male friend and he comforted me. I ended up staying at his house because I didn't have a way home, for the vehicle I got picked up in wasn't his. I told my boyfriend about it and he assumed I slept with him. however, I didn't. The worst was we had to sleep in the same bed. )) So he brought this up to his friend (( that he just introduced me to )) and his friend said that wouldn't fly with him. Then he brought up the night we first hung out and used those actions against me (( for he claims I just wanted to sleep with his friend and how it was his friend that I wanted )) even though it was before we had an established relationship. He brought up memories that I don't recall as well as I brought up memories that he doesn't remember ( from the same exact night! ) and he claims that his are truthful and I'm just making mine up when I'm not. I feel as if he uses my actions to make everything my fault that the relationship ended and I feel somewhat bad, but I know it's not all me. So I got dropped off and he said, " you're single now. you can go sleep with all those dudes you want now." and said never to speak to him again. I'm highly depressed now because I know I've never done him wrong. He claims that I lie because my facts don't add up and that I leave points out of stories, but I can only tell them to the best of my ability and I don't think it's right for him to tell me my memories didn't happen, while his did. I'm not even sure what question I wanted to ask. I'm just upset and don't know how to deal with this. Help??? I can give more details if needed.

[Londres70]

I wish you the best on sorting this out.  

[Twinn_Nolaa]

Yeah, that sounds very logical. Guess I'm just having false hopes to make something work that's never going to. Thank you

[Londres70]

Your statement...."It's hard because I'm fighting with my own emotions because he's not all bad. In fact, Most of him is good. It's just he has an anger issue. Anger mixing with depression, anxiety, and he gets paranoid..."   This is a BIG issue and he should be seeking professional help for this ASAP.    

Your statement...."I also have depression and anxiety. Since I'm a negative person, I tend to escalade the issues we have by ignoring them or just believing nothing can be done to fix anything. Lol now that I write it out, this relationship is has by far the oddest issue."  You also should be seeking professional help for your issues.

Sounds like the relationship was co-dependent and the main gravitation to each other was these issues you both need to resolve ALONE and with professional help.  

Work on you for now with the help of a therapist and leave this relationship "over."  

If the situation with the restaurant was stirring all this angst and hostility up then you all definitely shouldn't be together.  

[Twinn_Nolaa]

And apologize for bringing up your business, but I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm over here complaining about a guy, when that could never compare to what you must feel...

[Twinn_Nolaa]

Thank you for the advice. It's hard because I'm fighting with my own emotions because he's not all bad. In fact, Most of him is good. It's just he has an anger issue. Anger mixing with depression, anxiety, and he gets paranoid... I thought about moving on awhile ago but it's like this hold on him that I have. He's like no one I've ever met, literally. He shows me things that no one else can. His knowledge by far has got to be the deepest I've ever encountered and I love it, but what he sees drives him insane, I think and gets him more paranoid . We have a lot in common and i believe that's part of the reason. I also have depression and anxiety. Since I'm a negative person, I tend to escalade the issues we have by ignoring them or just believing nothing can be done to fix anything. Lol now that I write it out, this relationship is has by far the oddest issues.

[AHP84]

Well heck, I'd say the jerk has done you a favor and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Good riddance. What an a**.
But I know that's got to hurt like crazy. I'm sorry for the way he treated you and what he did. I've recently been through some really tough times in the past couple of months, and I know how deep emotional pain can go when it was something that was not expected.
You deserve better than what he could offer. Give yourself some time to grieve the loss of the relationship and don't move on too quickly. And don't let the next guy treat you so badly. Set that expectation for yourself and don't compromise it.