Im having an affair with my ex

[loretalee]

Hi,
I am currently in a 5 month relationship but having an affair with my ex, he is also with his new girlfriend. We both want to be together but for some reason, everytime I feel like leaving my boyfriend for him I start having doubts. He is also telling me that he has left this other person but I deeply know that he hasn´t, I do not know what to do, my boyfriend really loves me and me and my ex, have really tried to not contact each other but we simply can´t. I also feel jealous when I know that he can be with his girlfriend. The other day I was with my ex and my boyfriend called me, and my ex grabbed my phone and answered him, telling him that I was with him, that I was going to leave him. That broke my bf´s heart but I convinced him not to leave me. I didnt talk with my ex for a day, but I started talking to him again the very next day.
I know I sound like a really bad person but Im just totally confused. What should I do?

[fantima_r]

stay with your ex...or get over with it!!decision is yours i think deep inside you wanna stay with you ex...that new boyfriend is just a way to keep things going...to fill the gap...so just stay with your love!!

[AnnieBrooke]

I know it's not easy, but feeling "confused" doesn't come from not knowing what you should do, it comes from knowing full well and just not wanting to do it.  If you do leave your present boyfriend and wait a while, and tell your ex that he is not in your life while he has a girlfriend, things might get clarified after a while.  But let there be some time in between where you are not sleeping with anyone.

[AnnieBrooke]

Thinking of leaving your boyfriend but being hesitant because you know your ex can be with his girlfriend, suggests your boyfriend is more your comfort zone or safety back-up against being alone, than that you really love him in particular.  You should be with your present boyfriend if he is wonderful and more than enough, or you should let him go to find someone who feels that way about him.  Whether your ex has a girlfriend, or none, or many, should not weigh into your consideration of whether you are happy in your present relationship, and you need to find the moral courage to pull away if you are not happy there.

I suggest you break all this stuff off and rest for a while with no boyfriend.  Don't leave the one guy for the other; you need to have some air and some time alone.  Do you really want to be a cheater?  Neither your present boyfriend nor your ex's girlfriend deserve this, and you can be a better person by ending it and getting your head straight.  It's time to stop the harm.  

Good luck.

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