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10514421 tn?1412446473

I'm the only one whose doubtful

I've been in a considerably good relationship for three years.My boyfriend doesn't lie to me,ignore me,or flirt with other women and he loves me on the inside and out.For the first two years we were dating,he had his small circle of High School friends and plenty of time for us to spend together.Since he moved to college,his circle of friends grew and he's been spending at least twice as much time with them.I can't seem to handle his social life.I can't relate to anything with him and his friends - their hobbies and conversations - and I feel detached whenever I do try to mingle with his group of friends.In the evening,he spends hours playing computer games with his friends and the rest of the hour(s) doing homework,leaving no time for me to visit him and I end being upset with him every other night.
I feel like I'm more unhappy than satisfied with the relationship.But I can't break up with him.I have an attachment to him that I can't explain or reason out and, since college dorms are closed during the summer and my family is many states away, I live with his family during summer and other vacations.
It's also not his fault that I'm not happy with the relationship.I know it's me.I feel like breaking up with him would hurt him,though I also feel like I'm getting closer to become a pest for him,trying to leech out attention from him,and he'll eventually not want any part of it anymore.
Should I try to seek couples' therapy?Should I try to work on myself?Should we take a break - not from the relationship,but simply from each other?Do I need to tell him to stop spending so much time with his friends?I don't know what I should do if I'm my problem.
3 Responses
13167 tn?1327197724
You don't need couples therapy.  This is time to go your separate ways,  IMHO.  He's going a different lifepath than you are,  and my guess is that if you suggest breaking up he would quickly accept that.  

Your relationship has run it's course,  and you are on different paths.
480448 tn?1426952138
I agree with Rose.  This kind of thing happens a lot.  Relationships grow and change in different ways, some good, some not so good.  This is especially true among young couples who are going through big changes in their lives (ie...the transition from living at home to being away at college).

Of course you have a strong attachment to him, and of course a break up will hurt.  But, you'll both eventually get over it, and move on with life.  I think you'd both be happy with someone else...someone who is more in tuned with your current lifestyles.

Good luck to you.
10514421 tn?1412446473
I understand,and I can see how I must let go.The only other thing is that I'm living with his family.My sister and his mom are co-workers,so they live with each other,and so his home is also my home.Because the two bedrooms are already occupied,our space is the living room.Sleeping and spending most of the day in the same space could be a little strange after breaking up.
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