I fell hard in love for a transwoman in 1987. We got married in Vegas in ‘91. 33 years we've been a team and many of those years, lovers.
I am hard to live with let alone love. She handled both well for a couple decades then things went wrong. I can’t pinpoint the moment but she started cheating and I started drinking.
Now we stay in the same house for business survival and not really wanting to leave each other’s worlds, we mostly like each other. I’ve never met a person as smart and dynamic as her and doubt I ever will.
I have always been Pansexual. An emotional or intellectual connection has always seemed to open the door for physical intimacies with any person.
Now that my wife (clandestine married in ’96 in Vegas) has decided monogamy is obsolete and she will explore other bodies I find myself evaluating what I want from life, what’s left of it.
In my soul searching I have realized I’m more physically attracted to women in belly shirts.
To be more precise, I have learned I am naturally drawn to ‘dirty girls’. Think Courtney Love in X vs. Flint. I found, surprise to me, Courtney's role as a rough and sexy woman got my attention. Same with other ‘hard women’ in general.
I find I am drawn to dirty girls, badass women, girly boys, men with a gentle way with tattoos and tone.
As I prepare to meet another person to possibly share time with I am baffled as to what I want in a mate.
Smart, caustic, fascinating, pretty in some way…
That’s all I have. HELP!