In love w/a married man

[wannabefree330]

I have been involved with a married man for a little over a year.  At the time we met, he told me he was very unhappily married and was only with his wife for the sake of his children.  He is afraid that if he leaves his wife will take the kids and he'll never see them again.  In March, he told me he was going to give his marriage another shot, and commit to trying to make it work.  That meant no longer seeing me.  If at the end of the 6mo he still felt the same, he would file for divorce.  Of course i was devastated at his decision, but love him enough where I want him to be happy.  Before march we would see eachother at least 3 times a week.  The sex is phenomenal and unlike anything i've ever experienced.  We have complete open communication and i think that is why it is so amazing.  Since March, we have seen and slept with eachother several times.  He says he still loves me but is still going to complete the 6mo he committed to.  We text and talk to eachother every day and he tells me daily how he misses me.  I miss him and being with him.  I feel like he is my soul mate.  He has encouraged me to date other people, but gets very jealous when I even mention talking to other men.  He does not get angry, but communicates and tries even more when he knows i'm tlk'g to other guys.  I still feel committed to him, and hope that someday we can be together.
Am I crazy?  Will this ever materialize?  I told him I would wait till hell freezes over to be with him.  Anyone with similar circumstances?

[mami1323]

Can I ask if you suspected at all that he was unavailable?  Was he away in Iraq for the majority of your relationship?  I'm sorry you had to experience that, and I don't think it's your fault at all since you were an unwilling party in all of his lies and betrayal.  I just find it odd that you didn't know about anything.  Why I say that is because usually when you date someone, they bring you around their family and friends and are available on the weekends.  When someone has a family and a wife and you are the other person, they must not have been very available.  Did you meet his friends or family?  Did you hang out with him frequently or was he only available to you when it was convenient for him?  Did he go hours or days without talking to you?  Or not pick up your calls all the time?  I just wanted to know how 2 years of this happened and you didn't pick up on anything odd.  Again, it's nothing against you, I feel sorry that you had to go through that.  I'm glad you were able to get away though.  

[Shara21]

awww, sad story but i'm so happy for you for being strong enough to leave him and not look back. Good for you for being so level headed about this and doing whats best for yourself.

Shame on him, shame on all men and women who play with married partners, or who are married and cheat.

Lets hear it for people who have enough respect for themselves and others to walk away from these manipulators!!!!!!

YAY YOU!!!!!!!~

[Tiggywnks]

I have been reading all the advice about being involved with a married man or the mistress is a home wrecker and ****, but what about those who get involved with a married man and don’t know he is married?

That situation happened to me and I hadn’t a clue he was married  and I was with him 2 years, if it had not been for friends reunited I would never of know either, when I did find out you can imagine how I felt and to add to the heartache I had a call from his wife informing me she knew from day one about us as she hacked into his email account and kept tags on us that way but yet did nothing but sit back for some reason which I will never get answers, for the last 9 months my life has been tuned upside down and trying to move on which is very hard when you get calls of him while he is in Iraq serving for 4 months trying to make amends, little does he know when I did cut ties with him I was also pregnant and I have just had my first child Archie which he knows nothing about  and never will.

The moral of the story is from my experience those married men who play away will always play away as a leopard never changes it spots  and am thankful I had the courage to walk away with some self dignity and don’t have to put up with the mental head games is he or isn’t he cheating on me again.


Tiggs :)

[waringblender]

A year of your life is gone because of your being involved with a man who isn't worth the paper his phone number is printed on.

I guess you could be glad that it wasn't 5 years, or 10 years, or whatever, but this is just pathetic. Walk away from this now. If you can't do it alone, get a therapist to help extract you from this sad situation - which will only turn out badly for you. What a shame.

[madmac]

As a man I'll tell you that it matters not why anyone cheats what matters is that he/she did. No-one can help who they "fall" in love with but what they m/f should do if they find out the other is married happily or not is to step off and deal with the emotion the best you can. It's said that time will heal all wounds so give it time.

[mayflowers]

oh, I didn't read down that far.