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266539 tn?1281402152

Interesting Question

This is kind of a weird question and I know would be better on the pregnancy fourm or something in that area.  I was watching a little girl today and my boyfriend was with me and she had a baby doll and he said that our daughters are never going to have baby dolls.  He thinks that they are not good or appropriate.  Having your little girl act like a mom at like 3 years old.  It kind of made me sad when he said that because I really don't think there is anything wrong with it.  When I was little I loved playing with baby dolls and would have been really upset if I couldn't have played with them.   I don't think there is anything wrong with that and I actually think it is good, espesually if they are going to have a new brother or sister and using a doll as a teaching aid.  What do you ladies think?  Is there anything wrong with little your little girls play with dolls?
31 Responses
198506 tn?1251156915
Did you ask your boyfriend why specifically he didn't want her playing with dolls?  Why does he think it's inappropriate for little girls to act like Mom.  I would think it would an honor to have your little girl emulate their mother.  That's what kids do, they imitate and role play.   Even if you don't buy her a doll, she'll find a way to play Mommy, even if it's with a potato.  I've heard stories from friends with little boys who refused to buy toy guns but still their little ones used sticks or their fingers or whatever.
Avatar universal
Baby dolls, no.  Bratz dolls yes.  My daughters both have baby dolls, but I encourage both to play with toys also that will develop their brains.  My husband at first didn't think it was right for our daughters to act like little mommy's but he has sense given in because there is a lot worse things that they could be doing.  These are topics you need to discuss with your boyfriend along with how you both think children should be raised, religion, money situation, work, daycare, who does what house duties, and many many other things.  The first mistake a couple makes is not discussing stuff that deals with marriage (after the wedding bliss wears off).  What your boyfriend states though isn't uncommon for a guy to say.  Some parents don't want their little girls to concentrate so much on being a stay at home mommy, and would rather them play doctor or play office and things of that nature that sets your childs sites high on being a successful business person.  
Now the thing about using a doll for a teaching aid for a new brother or sister coming can also backfire.  I never told our oldest daughter her new baby sister was like a doll.  This is because I didn't want her to think she could go pick her up whenever she wanted to or that she could play mommy with her.  I remember when I gave birth to our second daughter, and my parents and grandparents were there, and my grandfather told my older daughter that this was like her new doll, and my father was quick to tell my grandfather not to say that.  Many babies have died because their older sibblings thought they were dolls.
Don't worry, there really is nothing your boyfriend can do to stop it because everyone gives a little girl dolls for presents.  I think we have 20 of them already.  
Some things I don't let my daughters have are stuffed toys, because they are just dust collectors that can cause issues with getting sick, and my older daughter can't have anything with little pieces with it, because of her little sister could choke on them.
I am sticking with the fact that your boyfriend said that because he wants his daughters to have more ambition in life then just being a mother, he wants them also to have other goals.
13167 tn?1327194124
K - this is kind of a concern.  I can CERTAINLY see him not wanting a girl to "grow up too fast" - i.e.,  start behaving sexually and wearing sexualized clothing.  It sounds like he's mistaking the doll carrying for "growing up too fast" ala Britny Spears.  

Does he perceive it's cute for a little boy to push a push toy "lawnmower" behind his dad who is mowing the lawn.  (Man,  that's cute!  As cute as girls loving little dolls).

Best wishes.
Avatar universal
Not to be rude to ya rockrose, but I don't want young moms to think letting their child out while their parents are mowing the lawn is cute.  That is just dangerous.  Many children have been killed.  Actually that just happened where I live.  A father ran over his son that he didn't see while he was cutting the grass.  The son is now gone, and the father has to live with himself just because the mother let the child out of the house while the dad was mowing the lawn.  So, I am completely against my kids being outside when husband is cutting grass.  Not too mention the shooting objects that come out from under the lawnmower.
203342 tn?1328737207
I think it's perfectly normal for little girls to play with baby dolls and little boys to play with cars and trucks. Even if you never gave your daughter a baby doll, I can pretty much assure you she will pick up a blanket, stuffed toy or any kind of object and pretend it's her baby. There's nothing wrong with that. Little girls will act out how their mommy's treat them, too. (So be careful, mom's! This can be a real eye opener! :)
I had baby dolls. I also was a bit of a tomboy and played with matchbox cars with my brother. I don't think you should put a lot of restrictions on your kids.
When your daughter gets older too, she will pretend she's the mommy and her friend or sibling is the baby and vice versa. So even if you never give her a doll, there's really no way your going to get around it!
Childhood is so short. I think we should just let the kids be kids and enjoy watching them play and use their imaginations.
Avatar universal
There is nothing wrong with a little girl playing with a baby doll only with the man who thinks its not "appropreate".
13167 tn?1327194124
Laura,  are you kidding?

Rocks do fly out sometimes sideways,  but not straight out behind,   but only if you run over them.  We don't have rocks in my yard,  just kind of thin grass  and you can certainly see a rock before you run over it in my yard.  Dog doo is a problem,  though.  ;D

We have a gas powered push mower - there is no way to run over a child with one.

Children have been killed running along side walks and tripping and falling hard - receiving a concussion or having their hearts "burst".  My kids still run along sidewalks.

Sorry,  I disagree.  My kids aren't running around playing tag while their dad mows the lawn,  but to follow behind with their push mower is an experience i don't want to give up.    Its a classic picture.   That,  and the child's face covered with spaghetti,  sitting in the high chair.  ;D
13167 tn?1327194124
Laura,  I searched the net and I did find this warning about riding lawn mowers.  It sounds,  also,  like that's what you're referring to in the accident near you.  We don't have one,  never will,  and I can see the danger (I kind of don't understand it,  but I do acknowledge that riding lawn mowers are apparently a danger.  I personally can't imagine running over a child while moving forward on a riding lawn mower - the nature of mowing a lawn is that there are no visual obstructions,  it's an open field.)  But,  apparently it does happen with riding lawn mowers and garden tractors.

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml99/99102.html
Avatar universal
I'm not arguing with you about this. If you choose to do so, then fine.  I can't for the life of me see how you think having a child out by a lawn more is safe.  Riding or push mower.  
My husbands friend growing up was outside while his father was cutting grass, and a a stick flew out from underneath the lawnmore, and hit him in his eye, and he had to have surgery on his eye.
I don't need to do searches on the internet when I can watch the news during the summer and see stuff about kids getting hurt because of lawnmores.
Your right kids fall and get hurt, but as a mother my girls won't ever have the chance of getting hurt by while my husband cuts grass because they won't be out there.
It doesn't even have to be a rock that causes it.  
Avatar universal
Lawnmower Safety Tips
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, over 68,000 people are treated in emergency rooms with lawn mower-related injuries. More than 9,000 of those hurt are under the age of 18.

Many injuries involve the loss of fingers, toes or eyes, deep cuts, burns or broken bones. Some lawn mower accidents result in permanent brain injury or death. Most deaths to children occur when a child falls off the mower and is run over, or when a child is in the mower's path.

In nearly every situation, these tragedies can be prevented if parents or guardians take a few simple precautions:

Keep children out of the yard when mowing the lawn
Never allow young children to mow the lawn
Never allow passengers on the riding lawnmower

Mower operator safety
Avatar universal
and there is many many many many more things that i have found both about riding mowers and push ones.  
I don't take chances when it comes to my kids safety.
Avatar universal
Since you are on the subject on kids and lawnmowers, somewhere in the U.S. I do not remember where a 5 yr old got on his father's "riding lawnmower" and managed to go out in the street with it until somebody called the police and picked him up.  I still wonder how the boy knew how to ride that lawn mower or maybe his Dad taught him.
Avatar universal
I also don't know how his feet reached the pedals.
203342 tn?1328737207
For the record, and I'm in no means taking anybody's side here, but I personally don't let my three year old out when his dad is mowing the yard or weed wacking. The weed wacker scares me especially! I'm always afraid my little one will try and run up to his daddy and my husband will be distracted with what he's doing.
Also, everyone, please be careful when you DO start teaching your children to mow the yard. I personally don't think they're ready till they're about 12 or so. When we taught our son, we made sure he was wearing tennis shoes, not sandels and taught him to watch for rocks, etc. and to never try and reach down to pull something out that's caught without shutting off the mower first. My cousin got the tip of her finger cut off when she was a teenager because she tried to pull something out that was caught while the mower was still on. It's ok to be cautious and teach them safety. I just try to not get paranoid and wrap my kids in bubble wrap! Although, it's tempting some times! :)
Avatar universal
I don't wrap my kids in bubble wrap either, but the injuries are there regarding lawn mores and little kids.  Remember my kids are 2 and 5.  I wish all these thousands of parents were paranoid regarding lawnmores of anykind, because then these kids wouldn't have gotten killed and hurt.  Thousands of parents wish they could take back letting their kids be out there because now they don't have their kids anymore or their kids don't have an eye or finger or foot.  You know it's kind-of like back in the olden days kids rode in the back of trucks and parents let their kids ride in front seat without seat belts, UNTIL they saw that this was killing kids, and then parents got smarter and buckled their kids up and didn't put them in the bed of trucks because of the danger.
13167 tn?1327194124
Hmmm,  maybe this is something to think about.  I have  cute pic of my brother "mowing the lawn" with my dad,  and pictures of my kids doing it.  Also,  a picture of my oldest son,  who was abou 18 months at the time sitting on top of a John Deere riding tractor that was parked in the garage,  holding on to the wheel and making the exact same serious grimace my dad makes when mowing the lawn.    My youngest got to ride on a tractor with a farmer.  I think these pictures and memories are darling,  and I would do them again.  

I do understand that it sounds more dangerous than I had thought (except the tractor in the garage).  

It also seems like some things we blow the danger out of proportion:

balloons
running at recess
pajamas made out of nice soft cotton,  not treated for flame retardancy

And some things that are really a GRAVE danger that we look past:

swimming pools
walking up to waste deep  in lakes if you can't swim
teaching little kids to head bump the soccer ball




Avatar universal
I gotta say on the balloon thing I don't let my daughters have them.  My brother is an EMT and a little girl got killed due to a balloon that popped in her face and on reaction, the first thing a child does it open their mouth and blow in and this is what that little girl did, and it cut off her air supply.  
This has even been on Oprah regarding the balloons and their dangers.  Now milar balloons don't bother me, and on the girls birthdays I do get them a couple of those (my husband ends up letting outside because he hates to have them in the way though).

Actually about the pajamas made with flame retardent, I don't let my kids wear because there is cancer causing chemicals that are used to make them flam retardent.

Pools, my parents had a inground pool while we were growing up, but they had a lady come to our house and teach us how to swim, and there were alarms that would go off if we went out by it, and also my parents had locks up at the top of each back door.  (5 kids).  
I don't have a pool in our back yard because when I was 18 I had a seizure while driving my car, and for the safety of my kids I won't have one in the backyard in case I would have another seizure while they are home with me.  

The thing is my mother is an RN and my brother is an EMT and a volunteer fireman, so I do hear more stories about children dying then I would like.
13167 tn?1327194124
When I assess how dangerous something is,  I look at the  numbers.  According to this around 1 - 1.5 kids die each year from latex balloons.  More kids die from brain eating amoebas from swimming in lakes that are publicly "okayed" for swimming.  

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2520&e=advicedetail&ccat=changingtimesgp&content=59310

I applaud careful mothers,  nothing at all wrong with that,  it just seems like as a society we focus on things that are really a very small danger vs. things that are a horrible danger,  like boyfriends of a toddler's mother.  

And about the flame retardant stuff - I still shake my head about that.  It is MUCH more likely that a chlid who is awake will catch fire than a child who is asleep.  Yet,  it's illegal to sell pajamas without flame retardant on them.  Go figure.

Avatar universal
I watched last week as the principal gave my 2 year old daughter a balloon, and sure enough it popped in her face and I watched what she did, sure enough she inhalled.  If someone hands them a balloon I don't say anything, but my daughters know that when we get out to the car that they have to hand them over.

Yuk I won't swim in lakes yuk yuk yuk.  My husband on the other hand will jump in them no problems.  I'm more of an ocean kind of girl (I like the idea of getting eatten by sharks  hahahah kidding).


I fully admit that I am probably more careful then some, but I'm not as careful as you may think.  It's just when you have family that deal with childrens injuries you become more aware of the fact that kids can die.

For the life of me one thing I don't get is how these mothers are forgetting their babies in the cars for hours at a time and killing them because of it.  
266539 tn?1281402152
Thanks ladies!  I always played with dolls so, I didn't see a problem but my boyfriend is one of 4 boys, so... he doesn't have any experiance with litle girls.  When I was little I loved to walk right behind my mom or dad when they mowed the lawn and my feet would turn green and think it was awesome! lol.  

Rockrose~ You know I never thought about if it isn't okay for a little girl to have dolls, why is it okay for a boy to have a lawn mower.

Im not really sure what the real issues is with letting litle girls play with dolls.

Laura~ He is okay with Barbies but I agree with you on the Bratz dolls.
144586 tn?1284666164
I am hesitant to comment, but after a lot of thought decided to put my two cents in. I think your boyfriend has headspace and timing problems.  He thinks dolls are not "good or appropriate". I don't think he will make a good and appropriate father. Think twice before tying the knot.
266539 tn?1281402152
I don't think appropriate was the right word for me to use...  I think that my boyfriend just thinks that it gives little girls the wrong impression, I guess.  I know he will be a wonderful daddy!  He has a 6 year old brother and at times pretty much raises him and he is so cute and wonderful with him, I see how he interacts with him and my heart melts.  He is just used to all the cars and legos... he wouldn't know what to do with a little girl. lol
Avatar universal
I don't think just because a guy says he doesn't want his daughter to play mommy with baby dolls means that he is going to be a bad father.  Unexperienced yes, bad no.  
Daddys want their daughters to grow up and be successful, and face it we live in a world where being a stay at home mom isn't necessarly known as having a "job".  
Ladies before you get mad at me for saying that, I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years so I know it is a JOB!  
My husband didn't know anything about dolls and dress up and playing house, before we had our kids, and I am sure he made some kind-of comment, but the point is my husband wouldn't dare tell his daughters they can't have baby dolls now.  
Some things you can't figure out till after you have kids and get experience.  Men are the worse with this stuff, but most do come around and become great fathers.
I would be more worried about talking about finances and home duties and sex after marriage, and in laws before I would worry about him saying something about baby dolls.  
K1990- I hate bratz dolls (trashy).
266539 tn?1281402152
Laura~ Bratz doll havent nothing good for kids to get from them.  Some barbies are getting that way too though!
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