is this cheating

[ashley911]

I have a good friend that lives far away n I have a bf of 3 yrs I like talkin to my friend even though
I no he likes me a lot we talk but not about sex or anything he always tells me
He wants me to be his n he wishes we weren't so far n I just so ohh
Is there something wrong with this

[Judy246]

I would like to correct myself in what I wrote: "if this guy would be a mutual friend of yours, it would be considered "disrespectful" and rather sneaky. I also think you like the attention, it's complimentary, but the reality is that you are in a relationship and if you love your b/f you will respect him and make it very clear to your friend and never send mix signals to him that can lead to emotional or full blown infidelity.  Food for thought....Judy

[Pres0081]

Hi there,

My personal opinion is simply that you don't necessarily need to have sex with someone in order for it to be cheating. There is such a thing as emotional cheating. I've been physicaly cheated on before and it's honestly the worst feeling ever. It was easy to let go though because I cannot be with a man, let alone sleep with him, if he was with someone else. Lots of ppl have sex without having feelings involved.

I think you need to take a bit of control. Just think.... if you guys were face to face and he wanted to "get" with you, would you be able to say no? As long as the feelings are not returned, you're ok. If you start falling for this guy, it could be dangerous.

After being with the same person for the last 3 years, it is nice to know that you're still wanted by others. It's flattering. You just have to know your limits.

Best of luck :)

[ashley911]

Thanks I guess ill talk to him less

[ashley911]

Thanks I guess ill talk to him less

[Judy246]

It's interesting that your question is "Is this cheating". It's not cheating, but, "It is TEMPTATION". If this type of communication with the "friend" continues, it can lead to dishonest behavior, which you might regret and lose your b/f at the same time.

If this other guy was a mutual friend of both of you, he would be respectful of the relationship, but if he is a friend of yours and only you, and is calling with conversations that are misleading or possible growing to a higher lever then this is defiantely a red flag, but you know that don't you.   Judy

[megochick101]

Well if you are just talking to him and not in a sexual way i don't think it's cheating. But i do think you need to keep the conversation away from the fact that he wants to be with you, you need to be clear with him and tell him that you only want to be friends.

I don't know if it's in either yours or your friends interests to keep in contact when he seems to keep trying to convince you to start a relationship with him. He should have respect for your current relationship and back off and not mention how he feels, you obviously know he would like to be more than a friend so he needs to stop talking about it, until you are out of a relationship and free to make a decision about it(if you haven't decided already)