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Avatar universal

Is she really pregnant?

I met a girl not quite 6 weeks ago.  We had unprotected sex, she said she was on the pill but we did not use a condom.  I did not *** inside of her.  At first I thought she was a really good person but after people randomly messaging me things about her when they found out we were hanging out I soon realized the type of person she was so I started backing away.  We went almost two weeks without talking and she was starting to realize that I was not into this any more.  She then told me something was wrong and I had to guess that she was pregnant.  When I did she sent me a photo of a positive pregnancy test and then told me that she had taken 5 tests, 4 of them came back positive and 1 had an error and didn't show anything at all.  She also said she went into the doctor for some tests on her liver and asked if they could run a pregnancy test on the blood work that they took and it also came back positive.  I found all of this out 4 weeks (jan. 2) after the first time we had ever had sex (dec. 11th).  We have had sex 3 times total.  She said she had last gotten her period the week before we had met (dec. 1st) and said she was suppose to have gotten it again (dec. 27-28).  When she told me on Sunday Jan. 2nd that she was pregnant, that whole next week she was having morning sickness.  So she says, I never witnessed it but apparently she was always vomiting at work due to certain smells and only in the morning.  Now, at first I felt there was nothing I could do... so I accepted the fact and responsibility.  When I would ask her certain things, like how far along she is, or what we are going to do in the future, she would ignore the question and never give me an answer.  After finding out that she is looking to "lock" a guy down, I freaked out and in the best way I could, I asked her if she would take a pregnancy test in front of me so I could see it for myself.  I even went out and bought a pregnancy test so i could just bring it to her.  I believe I have the right to know first hand and not just be sent a picture or shown in person a positive pregnancy test.  Am I crazy for requesting this information?  This has been on going all week and at this point in time, she refuses to take the test because she feels it is degrading and a shot at her trust.
6 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
Posts exactly like this occur a lot on this forum.    I think chances are slim that she's pregnant,  by the way that she's acting.  

If your dates are right,  that you first had sex on Dec. 11,  and she told you she was pregnant on Jan. 2,  that's in fact only three weeks and 1 day after you first met her,  not 4.  Not that that is a really big deal,  it just may come into play if she actually is pregnant and you have to figure pregnancy dates.

This is a wait and see game.  I honestly think women should be able to be charged with a crime for this,   maybe harassment or some thing like this.  It's common enough.

The good news is,  you don't have to wait all that long.  In a few months she'll be showing,  and if there is a baby you now have DNA to verify paternity.  What a gift,  to be living in this generation where you can get to the truth of paternity.

Best wishes.  As hard as this is,  it's not going to be long til you know.

And in the future you may want to get to know a woman well and meet her friends before you have sex.  
Avatar universal
I wouldn't sweat it until you get the results of a paternity test. There is no reason to panic until then. But I wouldn't trust her to get it done herself, I would get a court ordered test so she can't mess with it.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sorry to hear about this situation.  Always provokes a lot of anxiety.  I'm a firm believer in being super careful when having sex---  bringing your own protection if you don't know someone very well and even better, keep sex within committed relationships.  That's old fashioned these days I know, but it sure does beat wondering if you have gotten a stranger pregnant or if you've contracted an std (get tested).  

Yes, pregnancy is a finite time so you have your answer soon enough.  Until it is proven to you, I don't think you have to communicate with her or be involved at all.  good luck
Avatar universal
If she won't take the test in front of you, or show you her medical report that says she's pregnant, that's a HUGE red flag. I knew a couple girls in high school who pretended to be pregnant (for whatever reason) and then faked miscarriages, when they never started showing. It's awful, but women do it. And people went out of their way to warn you about this woman. That's something you shouldn't forget. I know it's hard to wait, but the truth will come out eventually. And probably sooner rather than later. Tell her these words: "If you do not pee on this stick, then come out and show it to me, OR show me your medical records saying you're pregnant, you and I are through." and I imagine she will get all defensive and say again that this means you don't trust her, blah blah blah, to which you can say that you don't even know her that well, and trust is earned, not expected. Then repeat what you said before, and tell her the choice is hers. If she can't do it, leave and never look back. If she has a baby in nine months, get a paternity test done. But chances are, you won't even have to worry about a paternity test, because there will be no baby.
Avatar universal
Yes, she could be pregnant, BUT that doesn't mean it's yours.

Tell her to contact you AFTER the baby is born for a paternity test and then don't contact her again.  Don't bother asking her to do this and that for proof.

Sounds like she is lying.
3060903 tn?1398565123
I think she may well be pregnant, and not want to go there by having to "prove" it beyond a shadow of a doubt, after in her mind showing you proof,

remember, she's a free agent and might not want to associate anything seedy , like not having her word taken as truth , associated with this big huge incredible thing that's happening in her womb, her heart and her soul.....

not saying she couldn't be lying, just saying that it could well be otherwise,and you'll just not know for sure until you see the proof of her belly and the paternity proving it's yours...

You've gained some valuable life experience here, that i'm sure will not have you in this position again, so that's a good thing...

Take care of yourself. and try to let this go until you are at the point in time of arranging for a paternity test....



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