Well, this is really hard. It sounds like this was something he carried over from another relationship which begs the question--- did you ever have a fulfilling sex life with him? And when you talk to him about his celibacy, what does he say his reasons are? I'm sure you've told him that as his wife, you'd like a sexual relationship--- what is his response.
Now, it sounds like you have a long distance relationship much of the time, right? Could there be distance in other ways and that physical distance just adds to it? Could he have a medical problem like low testosterone?
You've written of the things he does for you that are very generous. How is the rest of your relationship?
Rockrose said something that is very astute--- everyone has a different ability to live with this type of relationship. You must know your own boundary.
You don't have to stay in any relationship in which your partner is not meeting your needs and vice versa. You always have a choice. You can choose to stay, knowing that you will continue feeling unfulfilled and unhappy, or you can choose to leave and find a better life for yourself. The choice is all yours, only you can decide what kind of life you want to live. Everyone I know who had been in a similar situation to yours and left is now in a much better place and they don't regret leaving at all.
Has your hubby always been celibate or is this a new development? What are his reasons for the celibacy? Did he ask your thoughts /opinions before deciding on this ? Although marriage isn't based on sex, sex is a big part of the equation...
I'm here if you need to talk!
I just pm you with more details.
Yes. You are right. It boils down to can I live like this any longer.
After checking into some other people's experiences I guess it's a small comfort to know I'm not alone. I didn't know other people expect their spouses to endure this life. Sometimes when you have a problem, you think you are the only person in the world suffering.
I think you are missing the point. It's isn't about how people in other cultures "cope"......it's about if this is something you can live with. Is it a deal breaker for YOU.
Was he celibate from the beginning of the relationship?
Thanks Darlin. I'm going to do some cultural history studying. See how people in other cultures cope.
This is your choice, CRSeaside. No matter how many people post on here whether they would or would not be able to continue to be happy in this situation, this is for you to decide. For what it's worth, refusing to have sex with your spouse is legal grounds for divorce in most cultures.