Long Distance Relationships WHAT do you think??

Question

Ok what is your opinion about Long Distance Relationship? I was in one for a long time, we met online this was the first person i've ever talked to that i don't know, i usually don't do this due to safety reasons, you never know who is on the other side, it could be anyone and he can also be lying about anything. I'm 17 and he was 19. We were 3000 miles apart but we kicked it of and we wanted to get to know each other. It was interesting i did not trust him at the start at all but then as we went on i started trusting him we talked on the webcam and he turned out to be a really nice guy. We had a lot in common and he made me smile all the time, very funny guy and cute. It kind of was love of first sight i guess, we talked absolutely everyday and we never ran out of things to talk about. This went on for a year, with the hope that someday we will see each other. i loved everything about him, the best part was his personality and how much he made me smile no matter what, he knew when i had bad days and he would always make me forget. It started to become hard in the middle of it tho we did have a few arguments that we both live in completely different countries and that for the moment there was no chance for either of us to visit the other. We kind started to lose hope and at the end i ended up being hurt. He was so far away and i think the thought of me never being able to see him hurt me a lot. i guess thats the disadvantage of being in a long distance relationship. You never know what the other could be doing. I started to convince myself that maybe this wasn't love i mean i'm only 17, so i can just forget about him and move on. It never happened he never left my head to this day, he loved talking to me and i loved it just as much and i never thought that it would continue for so long that i would become so attached to a person i haven't even met. We decided we should stop talking to each other that it would hurt both of us, and we have, we stopped, it's been a month now and i miss him everyday. He was very considerate he cared and he was a gentleman he asked me if the age difference is a problem since he is 19 and is an adult and i'm basically still a child, he was thoughtful, and he never tried to sex talk with me which i found amazing since most people online are looking only for that at the moment. He told that he had been in a lot of relationships but that i'm the best girl he had ever met and he meant it. We both wished that we lived right by each other, but no. He shared his thoughts with me and me mine. I fell for him hard. I guess everything happens for a reason i don't think i would ever forget him, i haven't met such a nice guy as him so far. im SO SORRY THIS IS SOO LONG! but i wanted to tell you my story. What do you think about long distance relationships? Tell me your opinion. Have you been in one? Did it work out? How did it happen? I would love to hear some of your stories. ;)))

specialmom · Accepted Answer

Hi there.  Well,  I've been in a long distance relationship.  BUT, it wasn't one in which I met someone on line and never actually spent any physical time with them.  The internet, phone and texting are great and all but do not replace really being with someone.  You had a cyber relationship which is different than a real relationship in which someone is fully in your life.  When someone is fully in your life, they've enjoyed experiences WITH you, they know your friends and family and you theirs, they've given you a true hug when you are sad, they've shared quiet moments with you when you aren't even talking but just doing your own thing in the same place beside one another, etc.  Do you see the difference?

It is very easy to fall in love with the idea of a relationship or love or a person we've never even met.  I'm not putting down the closeness you feel for him in any way.  I'm just saying that it is different than having someone in your life in the flesh.

When long distance relationships do work, they have a foundation.  People have spent time together and know each other, they have the ability to do it in the future, and they have future plans to be together.

In  my heart of hearts, I wonder how much of life this cyber relationship has cost you real time with people that could have been in your life.  Even just friends that you should be hanging out with at 16/17 years old (as you've been doing this for a year).  Often things on the internet are a distraction from real life.  At your age, you need to be in the thick of real life.   

That is my honest opinion.  

I know you are hurting but feel like this will ultimately be in your best interest.  Study hard in school, stay close to your friends, date someone who you meet WHERE you are at in your real life when you are ready, etc.   Again, I'm sorry your heart aches.

to me, this isn't so much a situation of a long distance relationship as you never met.  Instead, how you can be close to someone on the internet and have that keep you away from other things.  I do feel for you and know you won't like seeing me say this.  But it is from my heart.  good luck dear

maryannn · Answer

hey there, we technically have the same story but the only difference is we're still together until now. we only met on facebook when me and my friends we're so bored, we started adding random strangers we could search. my friend found one, so we all added him as a friend. he accepted my friend request, and once he did, he inboxed me and asked who i was. i just said my name-that's it. the next day, my friend gave my fake nessenger account, so he talked to me. we talked about random stuff and we got to know each other. i didnt tell him everything about me because we dont know each other. but he told me everything about him, and i knew that he came from the country where i'm in (somewhere in asia) and migrated to canada only 6 months before we talked. and that's not all, we even went to the same school. but he was 2 years older than me, i was 12 and he was 14.. i know that that was kind of young but i don't regret anything. after 2 months, that's when he talked to me again. he told me i was pretty and he likes me. of course i didnt believe him at first, but each day we talked, i felt happy and all the stress i felt was gone. he makes cheers me up all the time, he doesnt even know because i dont tell him when im in a bad mood. during my 13th birthday, he sent me a letter. directly at my house. so eventually, ewe had fallen for each other and we became together. he was always there for me whenever i;m sad, and he'd stay up very late, or even sometimes he doesnt sleep at all everynight just to talk to me. though i dont stay up at night, he says its alright because he doesn't want me to get tired the next day. he'd give me expensive presents all the time, and i don't. he said it was okay, he understands. now we're nearly 26 months together, i'm 15 and he's 17. our age difference may seem very far, but who cares, we still love each other and we believe that someday, we will see each other and have fun like the other couples out there (: xx

shell921 · Answer

when i was your age i had a huge crush on a guy who was spending the summer in my town with his grandparents. he had a crush on me too and we spent a lot of time at the beach, the movies etc. we had the best time together and we were both so sad that after labor day he had to go back to his hometown 450 miles away. we swore to keep in touch with letters and phone calls. there was no internet, cell phone, texting or email in those days. so we did keep regular contact for 3 months. yes we did - he wrote and called me regularly and i wrote him back and lived for his calls. after 3 months i realized i was missing out on dating guys who were in my town and as much as i liked my long-distance guy, i knew i was too young to be tied down and miss out on growing up.

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

EVERYONE (you, me, him) is "different" on paper than in "real life" - we all mean well but it's just "different" when we are "dealing" with one another "one on one"  Sure, sometimes I think it "may" happen to work out long term - but often - NOT!!
You would do better to meet someone You can communicate with in the "here and now" and build on that.

mariiberii · Answer

I met my now fiance on a website. We weren't looking for a relationship but hit it off. He lived in pa and I lived in wi. Then he got deployed to Afghanistan for a year. We.talked on webcam and wrote letters. It was a lot of work but now we live together and I'm carrying his daughter. So yes they can with but it takes a lot of work!

loveeebug · Answer

Thank you for your answer i agree :)

loveeebug · Answer

Thank you i understand your answer and you are right :)

Londres70 · Answer

I wouldn't consider this an actual relationship only because you both have never met in person....this is or was a cyber relationship.  

The problems I see are: your age and you weren't planning on meeting or can't meet.   

This decision was for the best I think....for you all to end this "cyber" relationship.    

I have been in a long-distance relationship, however, the relationship was established before it became a long-distance relationship.  It didn't work out because we just didn't have much in common in the end and wanted different things out of life.....such is life.