Made A big Mistake..How can I get her back?

[Jp078507]

I have been dating the same girl for over 3 yrs and one night when I was drunk I a girl performed oral sex on me for less than a min I sobered up really quick ran up stairs and cried my eyes out..It ate me up so a couple day later I told my gf and she left me she was really upset! I know what I did I have done everything to get her back one day she told me to come to ur house she told me she loved me we made love and everything was good but then..She stops talking to me again and then she tells me shes still not over it and I find out she found a new guy...All her friends say the guy is just a rebound! what can I do too get her back guys Im not a bad guy and I care about this girl more than anything!

[Judy246]

hey, were are a great group here :)

[Jp078507]

Thank you I have grown up so much from this

[Judy246]

To error is to be human. We have all errorred in life. Then this will take time, patience, tolerance, trust that will need to be regained and earned and forgiveness. If she loves you with time she will forgive you, but be forwarned it's going to take a long time for her to trust you again, but there is hope that it will come. At the right time both of you put it behind you in the past and never bring it up or repeat again.

Stay away from the liquor if you can't handle yourself properly and we all wish you the best of luck.

[Jp078507]

thanks everyone she told me after that she knew I wasnt that kinda guy and Im really not..Im a man and I know I made a mistake but..shes my everything

[specialmom]

Ugh.  We all do stupid things.  It is human nature.  Granted, this was worse than most mistakes but I read in the way you write that you get that.  I agree with the others and Teko to wait it out and see what happens.  If you love her, do not rebound yourself and wait for a bit.  You learned a valuable lesson and she may find that she misses you too and will work this out with you.  Sadly, she will probably never look at you the same.  But relationships can recover from mistakes.  Like I said, everyone screws up.  It is how we learn and how we become wiser.  Hoping your lady comes back to you.  good luck

[Judy246]

This is what happens when irresponsible unable to handle your liquor behavior clouds good judgement and I mean no disrespect, but it's a hard, painful lesson with devastating, long term consequences for what in reality was just a moment. You now ask yourself it it was worth it, and the answer is no. The foundation of a good relationship is communication and trust.  Once trust has been broken, she will never see you with the same eyes as she did before. It's going to take a long time if not a life time for her to learn to trust you and forgive you. Forgiveness is very difficult and it is divine. It takes a very special person to have the gift of forgiveness, but it's possible with time. I think she's dating this other guy to get back at you and to show you that you are easily replaced and she's good enought to get another guy easily.  

I agree with teko that you should let this play out. You have brought this upon yourself and if you can't handle your liquor it's real simple...dont' drink!  Damage has been done and give it time. Then try to talk to her and apologize again for your poor judgement and what step you will take so that this will never happened again. Also, tell her that you love her and want the relationship to work, if she would meet you half way and give you a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance an you are not the first or last that behaved irresponsibly intoxicated. You know need to do "damage control", man up and do what you have to do to "earn" her trust, but if she no longer want to see you, let it be a very painful experience to always, value and respect your relationship, because it is a thin line between love and hate. Good Luck, Judy

[teko]

You have no choice but to be patient and let it play out. Hind site is always 20/20. You violated her trust and frankly, as far as she is concerned she may not be able to go back, only forward alone. If she has a new guy this soon, Id say she is moving on. Sorry.

[Jp078507]

I know like she said she doesnt wanna give me all the pictures of us and she still has all the notes and stuff I wrote her and stuff in the same spot when i went iver there to get my clothes.. I just am having such a hard time with this she was everything to me..I was thinking about just making a big scrapbook(one of her biggest hobbies) with all the stuff i have left from after the break up like pictures from the first day we met and vacations and stuff like that and at the end put hopefully not THE END but i dont know if thats too much or something...

[imanaddict]

If she's dating someone else already, that's not a good sign. She may have moved on or it could just be a rebound like her friends said. Either way, you broke her trust and that is not something that can just be forgotten. I would suggest letting her know you still love her but don't be too pushy in trying to win her back. That will only send out desperation signals which can be a turn off. Give her some time and space and if it's meant to be, she will come back to you. If not, well let it be a lesson learned not to get drunk and do things you regret later.