1415482 tn?1459702714

Making ammends

So I have not spoken to my ex who also happens to be my child's father in about a month or so. Its not that he hasn't been there for her its just that when he comes around I do not open my mouth and say two words to him. I do not entertain any types of small talks with him. I am not angry at him anymore, I just don't want to speak with him. However, I would hate for this to continue for a very long time. I am one of those people who thinks that while you must not shelter your kids from the world, you must not bother them with adult problems and so I would not like for her to grow up thinking I resent her father. She doesn't need to bother herself with that.

However, and yes I know it is extremely immature on my end I know that but I cannot help but feeling like if I speak to him, then he's won! He needs to know that his stupidity is not something that can be brushed aside and that it is not ok and that I will not brush aside his nonsense. But I love my baby and I feel like I need to do what is best for her! So I am feeling like I need to call him and at least say Happy New Year but everytime I pick up the phone to call him, my heart starts beating super fast and my hands start to shake and so I don't bother.

Do you guys think its necessary to speak to him? Or it doesn't matter if I keep avoiding him or not?
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Avatar universal
Speek with him
It is the difference between your child having a healthy loving relashinship with her father.
If you don't he might feel alienated and might stop comming to see her.
I know breakups are hard my ex boyfriend used to punch me whenever I tried to talk to him but in the end we became friends.
Maybe you could be friends with your ex.
Good luck
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi.  Well, I'm a firm believer that the best revenge is to be happy and healthy.  So speaking to him shows you 'don't' care about him anymore. . . and in my mind, THAT is more of a win than his thinking you are still hurt by him.  

If he is a big jerk, then treat him like you would a stranger.  YOu don't have to have small talk about HIS life but rather about your daughters and news in general (neutral subjects like the weather work fine).  

Good luck---  it is always hard when our ex is a rotten jerk yet we still have to deal with them due to kids!  But don't let him think you care enough about him to still be mad----  you've moved on and HE is in your past!!  Peace
Helpful - 0
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