Aa
Marriage
How old were you when you got married and how long did you date prior to marriage? Are you and your spouse the same age?
There is no right or wrong answer here, but I am just curious to see when marriage happened for everyone. Also, if you would like to add in any other info that you would like to share, feel free to do so.
There is no right or wrong answer here, but I am just curious to see when marriage happened for everyone. Also, if you would like to add in any other info that you would like to share, feel free to do so.
Premarital counseling is required in order to be married at the church that we already have booked, so we are going, but just haven't gone yet.
I'm sure living together can work for some people, but it is definitely not for me. I've seen too many negatives in regards to it from my knowledge/experiences of seeing others do that and really want to live with him after getting married, as part of our new life together.
I'm sure living together can work for some people, but it is definitely not for me. I've seen too many negatives in regards to it from my knowledge/experiences of seeing others do that and really want to live with him after getting married, as part of our new life together.
I think you are completely wise to ensure you finish your education. I agree with Specialmom in that I have a lot of confidence knowing that no matter what, I can support myself and our child. I am not a stay at home mom, but did take a big step back career wise in order to enable me to only work part time and spend the majority of my time on my family. But I know that if (God forbid) something happened to my husband, I could take care of us.
I also agree with much of what Ashelen said in that I too am glad I lived with my husband prior to marriage. It was the right thing for me. In all honesty though, we lived literally a 5 minute walk from each other, so for us moving in together just sort of happened. We were spending all of our time outside of work together anyway, and I was practically living at his apartment already. But I can say I would never have moved in with him unless I was very confident that this was it.
I think there are pro's and con's to living together, and you have to do what feels right for you. For me..absolutely the right thing. For others..it's not. I do have one big recommendation for you though. I know your relationship is strong, but I would still advise doing premarital counseling. We too had a strong relationship prior to marriage, but I am so glad we did it (I wasn't keen on initially. The minister that married us makes it a requirement, so we went into it sort of dragging our feet, but it was fantastic!) I highly recommend it to everyone.
I also agree with much of what Ashelen said in that I too am glad I lived with my husband prior to marriage. It was the right thing for me. In all honesty though, we lived literally a 5 minute walk from each other, so for us moving in together just sort of happened. We were spending all of our time outside of work together anyway, and I was practically living at his apartment already. But I can say I would never have moved in with him unless I was very confident that this was it.
I think there are pro's and con's to living together, and you have to do what feels right for you. For me..absolutely the right thing. For others..it's not. I do have one big recommendation for you though. I know your relationship is strong, but I would still advise doing premarital counseling. We too had a strong relationship prior to marriage, but I am so glad we did it (I wasn't keen on initially. The minister that married us makes it a requirement, so we went into it sort of dragging our feet, but it was fantastic!) I highly recommend it to everyone.
I know it's not just for you Ashelen, but I just don't want to go that route. I don't like the idea of playing house. We originally were looking at June, but switched to July so that it was easier for the teachers in my family to make it and not be stressed out, plus we just liked the date. lol.
My fiance has applied to a couple positions to move up in the company and depending on what he gets, we'll live somewhat close to that area. I have a semester left after being married to graduate, so it'll be next fall when I graduate with my Bachelor's degree, since my major requires so much, otherwise I would have graduated this spring. Oh well, I love my major. A lot will happen in a short several months, but it's all very exciting. It'll be nice to not live with my annoying roommates that I have now. lol. Those girls drive me crazy.
My fiance has applied to a couple positions to move up in the company and depending on what he gets, we'll live somewhat close to that area. I have a semester left after being married to graduate, so it'll be next fall when I graduate with my Bachelor's degree, since my major requires so much, otherwise I would have graduated this spring. Oh well, I love my major. A lot will happen in a short several months, but it's all very exciting. It'll be nice to not live with my annoying roommates that I have now. lol. Those girls drive me crazy.
Hey it's not just me, so don't act like it is, lol.
But like I said (if you didn't skip that part) i really hope it DOES work out for you that way, and it worked out that way for a lot of marriages before.
July is a great month to get married - it holds a lot of significance for me personally, so I think that's a wonderful date. Lots of 2's and 1's...21, 12 lol
But like I said (if you didn't skip that part) i really hope it DOES work out for you that way, and it worked out that way for a lot of marriages before.
July is a great month to get married - it holds a lot of significance for me personally, so I think that's a wonderful date. Lots of 2's and 1's...21, 12 lol
That's good you've been on vacations and weekends away together, that will show you a little bit of what it's going to be like. You'll love it, it's the best thing ever. Just going to bed and waking up to Scott every night is amazing. Have you figured out what you're going to do when you do get married? Are you going to move to where he is living for his job etc? You graduate then too right? I'm so excited for you, because how much fun this next chapter of your life is going to be (apart from being married, since I'm not married yet).
I am glad it worked well for you, but I have no interest in moving in with my fiance prior to being married. That's just not my thing. We have good communication and I am sure I can handle what ever weird quirks I may find out about him later on, as that is part of the commitment of marriage that we will be together through everything that may happen(sickness and health, good and bad, etc). I do hate that he lives about 50 minutes away(just moved farther away about 3 months ago for his job), but I know he needed to do that and we always make it work. I know we are compatible because we have a lot in common(same religion, goals, values, etc), so I am not worried about that at all. We've been on vacations and weekends together and I look forward to living with him after marriage. We're getting married on July 21, 2012.
I was 24 (nearly 25) and my husband was 26 when we got married. We dated nearly two years when he proposed to me and we got married two months later--so we had been together exactly two years by the time we got married. We just celebrated our second annniversary this last weekend over Labor Day, and we couldn't be happier.
I had graduated college and lived on my own for just over two years (okay...apparently this post about my life has got some obsession with the number two, lol) as a single parent with my son--the majority of this time was when I was dating my husband.
A year and a half after dating, I ended up pregnant. Within less than a month after that, he proposed, and three weeks later, he moved in with me, which was a month before our wedding was scheduled. It really worked out for us this way because he originally lived about 45 minutes away and we only saw each other twice a week or less--and once I was pregnant, I felt much better having him with me at all times because of the stress we were facing with wedding planning combined with a pregnancy.
Two years later, I couldn't ask for a more wonderful husband and life together with our two sons. :-)
I had graduated college and lived on my own for just over two years (okay...apparently this post about my life has got some obsession with the number two, lol) as a single parent with my son--the majority of this time was when I was dating my husband.
A year and a half after dating, I ended up pregnant. Within less than a month after that, he proposed, and three weeks later, he moved in with me, which was a month before our wedding was scheduled. It really worked out for us this way because he originally lived about 45 minutes away and we only saw each other twice a week or less--and once I was pregnant, I felt much better having him with me at all times because of the stress we were facing with wedding planning combined with a pregnancy.
Two years later, I couldn't ask for a more wonderful husband and life together with our two sons. :-)
I met DF when I was 18 almost 19. DF is 4 years older than me. Although you would think it's the other way about - I'm way more mature than my age. We started dating a few months after I turned 19. We got engaged last Winter (just before Christmas) and moved in together this May. This is our 4th month living together now, and I LOVE it.Since I decided to go back to and get my Bachelors degree this year, we're not planning on getting married for another 2 years. I graduate next summer and want to be working for a good few months to save the money first. So I'll be 22/23 by the time we probably get married. I'm glad we moved in together when we did. I hated the whole only seeing him every other day or only weekends and we've both learned a WHOLE lot more about one another since then too. It's been hard at time, with conflicting ideas on decoration of our home and how money should be spent, as well as discovering all these new habits etc that we never knew each other had before - some things still really annoy me lol. But it's all worth it in the end. I would hate to have had it this way just after we married. I think if we had just got married and had all this going on it would have scared me a little so I'm glad we did things this way and wouldn't change any of it for the world.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, I was 34 when I married and my husband was 36 and we dated 3 years before marrying. We didn't live together either. I never had an interest in that. Many couples do live together and that works for them but it wasn't my thing.
I do recommend something though ---------- I feel like the confidence a woman gets from being on her own with no one else paying her way is very valuable. I'll never be afraid because I know that I can live on my own, handle a home without anyone's help, have learned to earn an income and support myself from it with no one else's help, etc.
It can't and doesn't always work that way but I encourage women to make sure they finish their schooling and embrace some kind of career or job. I'm a stay at home mom now but know that I'm trained to do something if I need to. I have experience to back up getting a job if that becomes necessary.
I know that you are in school and have plans for your future. This is great. My heartfelt advice is that continue on your path with this and do not get distracted. It serves a purpose down the road of security. good luck and you'll be a beautiful bride in July!
I do recommend something though ---------- I feel like the confidence a woman gets from being on her own with no one else paying her way is very valuable. I'll never be afraid because I know that I can live on my own, handle a home without anyone's help, have learned to earn an income and support myself from it with no one else's help, etc.
It can't and doesn't always work that way but I encourage women to make sure they finish their schooling and embrace some kind of career or job. I'm a stay at home mom now but know that I'm trained to do something if I need to. I have experience to back up getting a job if that becomes necessary.
I know that you are in school and have plans for your future. This is great. My heartfelt advice is that continue on your path with this and do not get distracted. It serves a purpose down the road of security. good luck and you'll be a beautiful bride in July!
sweetpea- I'm all for the excitement of moving in together being part of marriage but I've told you this before and I'll say it again - excitement on your wedding day is small compared to the risk that you may not be compatible...and it takes time to figure that out. When you live with someone it's a whoooooole different life and a whoooole different story, even if you are completely honest and open about each other's habits and likes and dislikes. you may do great for the first year...or more....but eventually something's going to occur and you're going to be like "who IS this man that I've known for years and married?"
Plenty of couples work through it - that's how marriages used to be, after all....but that's part of why people started moving in together early; it gave them a way to work out the kinks so that the marriage started out on solid footing.
I hope it works out for you though, and I'm excited for your wedding! what's the date in July? my birthday is the 12th and my son's is the 14th :-).
Plenty of couples work through it - that's how marriages used to be, after all....but that's part of why people started moving in together early; it gave them a way to work out the kinks so that the marriage started out on solid footing.
I hope it works out for you though, and I'm excited for your wedding! what's the date in July? my birthday is the 12th and my son's is the 14th :-).
I was 21 and my husband was 22, almost 23 when we got married. We were together 8 months before we got engaged and we were engaged for 14 months before we got married. We didn't officially live together, but I was always at his parents' house sometimes for weeks at a time. We moved into our first apartment the day before we got married. Word to the wise, don't move and get married in the same weekend, it doesn't work. We have been married for just over 5 years now, and together for almost 7 total.
What an interesting question. ;D
I was 25, my husband was 24 when we got married. When we met, I was engaged to another man. I am a FIRM believer that until you say "I do", or actually until your first child is born, whichever comes first, you aren't committed.
I think the engagement period - and certainly the dating period - all bets are off. If you realize you aren't meant for each other or you meet someone better, go for it.
Married 26 years last spring.
I was 25, my husband was 24 when we got married. When we met, I was engaged to another man. I am a FIRM believer that until you say "I do", or actually until your first child is born, whichever comes first, you aren't committed.
I think the engagement period - and certainly the dating period - all bets are off. If you realize you aren't meant for each other or you meet someone better, go for it.
Married 26 years last spring.
Thanks! Yes, I am engaged and really looking forward to getting married in July. :)
I told my fiance early on that I refused to move in with him unless/until we're married(which he agreed with), as I have always seen that as part of all the excitement of getting married, that I finally get to live with the man I love.
I told my fiance early on that I refused to move in with him unless/until we're married(which he agreed with), as I have always seen that as part of all the excitement of getting married, that I finally get to live with the man I love.
I was 22, my husband was 24. We started dating right around my 18th birthday, and he was 20....we were engaged pretty much right away, but we stayed engaged for almost 4 1/2 years before tying the knot. We're now coming up on 4 years of marriage, 8 1/2 years of being together.
we also lived together almost right away and I'm very glad we did, but not for the sexual reason. We worked out all the kinks of married life so that when we DID tie the knot, it was a celebration of a comfortable, hard-won life of familiar habits and we knew how to handle the curveballs that life tends to throw at you as partners. as a result, our marriage has been solid and secure, if not perfect at all times.
we also lived together almost right away and I'm very glad we did, but not for the sexual reason. We worked out all the kinks of married life so that when we DID tie the knot, it was a celebration of a comfortable, hard-won life of familiar habits and we knew how to handle the curveballs that life tends to throw at you as partners. as a result, our marriage has been solid and secure, if not perfect at all times.
We got married at 37. We had been together 3 years. Dated the first year, lived together the second and third year, got engaged about a year and 3/4 after meeting. We are 25 days apart in age.
For me, marrying older was the right decision. I was 100% focused on career and honestly..not mature enough in my 20's to handle the responsibility of marriage. I am NOT at all saying this is the case with everyone, just with me.
I do think it's important to know yourself, and be happy independantly first and foremost. Again, this happens for different people at different ages. Also...when I look back, I didn't have very good taste in men..lol. The qualities that are important to me now were not the same qualities I admired when I was younger. So for me, being older was a good thing.
Your engaged right? I have to say, you really seem to have your head on straight..I have read many of your comments and posts. You seem to have a very good idea as to what you want in life and I really think that those qualities in an individual will transfer over into helping you build a strong marriage. Hope that made sense, I know what I am trying to say..ha.
I wish you happiness! Congrats on your impending marriage.
For me, marrying older was the right decision. I was 100% focused on career and honestly..not mature enough in my 20's to handle the responsibility of marriage. I am NOT at all saying this is the case with everyone, just with me.
I do think it's important to know yourself, and be happy independantly first and foremost. Again, this happens for different people at different ages. Also...when I look back, I didn't have very good taste in men..lol. The qualities that are important to me now were not the same qualities I admired when I was younger. So for me, being older was a good thing.
Your engaged right? I have to say, you really seem to have your head on straight..I have read many of your comments and posts. You seem to have a very good idea as to what you want in life and I really think that those qualities in an individual will transfer over into helping you build a strong marriage. Hope that made sense, I know what I am trying to say..ha.
I wish you happiness! Congrats on your impending marriage.
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