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561706 tn?1333950874

Match.com is my boyfriend lying?

Hi, I'm pretty naive when it comes to internet dating and I have a question for anyone who knows more how it works- a couple of weeks ago I put a free profile up on Match.com.  Three days later my boyfriend called and told me his friend in a distant state saw my profile.  And he had seen it, too. My counselor told me this sounds unlikely because match keeps names confidential.  Also this person in California has never met me or likely seen a pic.  My boyfriend has told me he used the dating site in the past.
I don't understand how it works, really.. does anyone have knowledge or experience to share. Is he full of it?  Could he have come across my profile that quickly himself?  He was also pretty quick to forgive me, which also makes me suspicious.  Thanks so much.
10 Responses
13167 tn?1327197724
I'm confused about your question.

You're trying to cheat on him,  and you wonder if he's lying about how he caught you doing it?
Avatar universal
Lol & DITTO DITTO DITTO! I'm wondering the same thing
Avatar universal
I'm confused also.

You have a boyfriend but You put up a profile on a dating site

Is this question about Him spying??? or about You cheating??
Avatar universal
I'm not sure what you mean by "anonymous", cause let's be real, how anonymous is it when your picture and all your personal info except just your name is on there?

Anyway, I think it could be that your bf is telling the truth cause anyone can search for anywhere on there but he could also be lying cause he was on there himself. You know him better than we do, you would know more than we would.

I'm as confused as the other ladies here. Why did you put up a profile when you already have a boyfriend? Were you trying to cheat and got busted?
Avatar universal
None of this makes sense
561706 tn?1333950874
Thanks for your responses and yes it does sound ridiculous.  I just tried to keep my question simple.  I put up a profile after he said he wanted to "take a break" from our relationship due to issues he's having.  I'm not very confident that I want to meet someone through an internet dating site but I thought it might be good for my ego, a friend suggested it.  Even though he and I are on a break I really don't want to date this soon - obviously I have my own issues to deal with.  So despite my behavior I still don't like the idea that he's lying to me. Yes, again, I sound ridiculous.
13167 tn?1327197724
Lizz,  since you've signed up for Match.com you probably know what people who are casually viewing can see.  Can you see photos of other people by listing a location,  gender,  etc.,  that you're searching for?
6726276 tn?1421130268
Hi Lizz.
You are young. Be free. Understand that people may tell tall tales on their profiles. Please be smart. Always meet in a public place.
    Lizz, I don't want to break your heart, but there are people on these sites that are only looking for casual sex.
     Do yourself a favor & wait until the 5th or 6 th date to even begin any intimacy. Ok?
     Act within your own comfort zone. Take your up upbringing & your religion into consideration. Dating should be a fun way to get to know other people & yes, it can do wonders for your ego. My grandfather used to say, do the things you love to do, & you'll meet someone doing the same thing. I met my husband waterskiing on a River trip. We've been married 20 years. Pamela
480448 tn?1426952138
I think you said it best yourself....

"Even though he and I are on a break I really don't want to date this soon - obviously I have my own issues to deal with. "

Your BF tells you he wants to take a break, and already you have a profile up on a dating website.  I think it would be a great idea to do some exploring as to why you felt the need to do that.  You need to find some closure from one relationship before jumping into anything else.  You need to try to be okay just being ALONE and with yourself for a while.

As for the issue of lying, it's impossible to say.  It wouldn't be impossible for him to find your profile, in fact, it would be pretty easy.  Also, have you ever considered that HE himself may have been browsing the site for dates as well?

I just don't think that's a healthy worry to spend a lot of time on, IMO.

Best of luck to you.
Avatar universal
Ditto NG.  Sounds like you need to be completely alone and work on you with the help of the counselor you are seeing.

"I'm not very confident that I want to meet someone through an internet dating site but I thought it might be good for my ego, a friend suggested it."....I wouldn't recommend using dating sites to "boost your ego."  Most on these sites are very ready and interested in dating and aren't looking for games.  Don't waste your time as well as their time.  

All the best.  
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