Men, I dont get them

[boogiefly]

I have a question. My boyfriend tells me that I'm his number one and that I am better than girls in porn and that I am gorgeous. Then he goes and says that girls in porn are gorgeous, and he masturbates to porn almost everyday when I am not here. When we are together, he wants to watch more porn. This tells me he doesn't really think I'm gorgeous or better than those girls. So can someone give some perspective on what's going on? When I ask him he gets all angry, and avoids answering the question, and calls me a B.

[mami1323]

Why are you more concerned with his happiness and not your own? I don't usually say this but your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. He makes you feel bad all the time and can't you are he's the reason you are so insecure. Why wouldn't you want to be with someone who builds you up and makes you feel good? I hate to say it but you don't wish to change your life so what's the point in giving advice? You can't change him but you can change your situation. Its up to you.

[specialmom]

boobiefly, why are you with him?  Does not sound like a good boyfriend.

[boogiefly]

Yes it is the same boyfriend. I just want him to love me the way he says it does. And specialmom I know that I am insecure but I don't know what else to feel when he says I'm better than these women, but then spend more time looking at them than he does having sex with me. I see how this could be an addition and I discussed that with him, but he doesn't agree. I told him it was ok if he looks at once or twice a week, and I even bought him movies so that he and I can share in this actvity, but he makes into something we do all the time. And the comments he makes about the women bother me when he says that they r gorgeous, or that parts of their body are heavenly, which he has never said about me. I wish I could prevent my feelings from being hurt over this so we never fight. I love him and I just want him to be happy.

[mami1323]

Is this the same boyfriend that belittles you on a constant basis and makes you feel guilty all the time? Well if it is then you already know my answer and if you don't know it then go back into some of your old posts and my answers will always be the same.

[specialmom]

Porn every day and to the detriment of a real relationship with a living person is a problem.  And his anger at your discussing it is a sign of this problem.  He feels like you want him to stop watching it and that upsets him.  That is a problem.  If something that is "for fun" upsets your partner----------  you say, well . . . you are insecure and being a little silly but if it upsets you, I will stop.  If the thought of stopping is impossible . .. then you call them the B word and get angry.  He's got a problem with porn.  While I know this will most likely fall on deaf ears . . . I would not continue a relationship with someone that has an addiction problem.  I'm much too self protective for that.  good luck

[boogiefly]

That's most likely true because he has told me he thought that before, that I'm the best and that he loves my body, but yet he loves porn, he said its an escape. He says I badger him with questions but I just want to understand him and not feel like he is lying to me

[iam1butterfly]

I get them... they're very visual and easily absorbed in fantasies and I believe that that's part of the attraction to porn. And, I'm thinking that he gets angry and calls you a B**** out of frustration because he doesn't like being confronted with something for which he has no logical explanation.