My GF things my Best Friend will be the other women.

[AmonSeth]

First let me give you a little back ground so you understand the whole story.

I have been best friends with Doll, since I was three, we lived next door to each other until her family moved away when she was 16. during that time we never dated never kissed, never did anything romantic she was like a sister to her and I like a brother to her. I was heart broken when she moved but we kept in touch. Talking on the phone, email, letters. We are still best friends.

When I was 18 I met and fell in love, with my current girl friend. I am madly in love with my Amy. I plan to marry and have several babies with Amy. At no time did I ever hide my friendship with Doll from Amy. Nor did I hide Amy from Doll.

A few months ago I got a phone call from Doll, she called the house phone, amy answered they said a quick hello. then she handed the phone to me. Doll then when on to tell me that she was moving back to town, that she missed me, the climate, the beach, and she thought it would be better for her inspiration. ( shes an artist).

Well to say i was happy was an understatement, I was jumping up and down excited,( A little girly I know) I was just so excited that my best friend would be back. that we would be able to be proper friends again. and even more excited that Amy and Doll would meet. I just knew my two favorite women would get on well together.

A week ago I and Amy where at the airport waited for Doll, I was so happy and Amy was really excited for me, all up to three seconds after she actually saw Doll that is. she did a complete reversal, she got cold, and a little distant. But I refused to let what ever was bothering Amy dampen the first time I had seen Doll in years. Doll is a tiny little thing so I have always picked he up. I am sort of a bulky guy, so doll always got smother in one of our hugs, I put her down and walked her over, to Amy.

Amy looked fine, she smiled and was polite, welcoming Doll back home. Doll was nice as ever, I figured what ever had been bothering her had passed. so we got Dolls bags went to the car Doll started towards the back seat, but Amy stopped her, told her to get up front with me, I said that was a great idea. Amy got in back, Doll in front and we where on way to the hotel she was staying at. The car was filled with friendly banter, doll would talk to me, and she would Talk to amy. I thought every thing was going great, that was until I looked in the rear-view mirror in time to see Amy  roll her eyes at what doll was saying and smirk. And I had seen that smirk before, it was the same look that amy always gave some one she didnt like. I was shocked, and hurt.

Well by then We where at Dolls Hotel, I walked her to her door, which pissed Amy off, because I saw her grind her teeth, when I went in to kiss her, and tell her i would be right back.

A few minuets later, I was back in the car and amy was still in the back seat, and she was fuming mad. And I had zero clue why. I asked her to come up and sit with me, and she just exploded. She yelled something like " now that your goth **** is gone, you want me next to you".

Now I was pissed, I realized amy had only asked Doll to sit up front with me so that I would tell doll to sit in back. Amy had been testing me, and she wass pissed that I had failed. I didnt even know what to say, the only thing I could thing to say was for amy to not call Doll a ****. that only pissed her of more. the whole way home we argued about Doll, apparently Amy was not expecting Doll to look the way she did.

Doll has this a genetic disorder that makes her skin really pale, when she was younger you could see almost all the veins in her skin. The only pictures Amy had seen of Doll where from our child hood. Doll still looked very much the same but had learned how to use what she was born with. A little make up, and a nice Hair cut goes a long way. And I will admit Doll was very beautiful now.

When i had realized this, I swore to Amy that I only loved her, i only wanted her, She was my life. that made her a little happy,but she was still pissed over the way I acted with Doll, later that day we talked and she said she forgave me.

I am not one to get up set easily but That pissed me off. I said I had nothing to be sorry for. That if anyone she apologize it should be her. Well Amy didnt like that at all, and we fought again, its been a week now, and we still keep having the same fight. I will not say Im sorry when i have done nothing wrong. It seems the only thing that will make Amy happy is if I End my " affair" with doll.

I fell heartsick over the whole thing, I love Amy, and I love doll. no matter what i say to amy she is convinced I will end up leaving her for Doll. And poor doll, has been completely ignored since she got here. I just dont know what to say or do.

Please some one shed some light on my hopeless situation.

[megochick101]

I don't think you really have any reason to apologize to Amy at all. This is how i see the situation:

Your best friend(sister in your mind) came back home, so you were excited because one of your family members was going to be home again!

You're wife only focused on the fact that your friend just happens to be beautiful, and forgot for the moment that she is like family to you. Your wife seems to be insecure with herself, and not as trusting of you as she should be.

I think you should sit her down and completely explain how you feel about Doll(she's like family/sister) and about Amy not trusting you.

[lost_myself]

I have to agree and disagree here. I think them getting to know one another is a great idea. It will eliminate the supossed threat.
I basically disagree with most if not all of the rest. First, I say if she is insecure that's her issue, not his. He has never hidden his friendship with Doll or the fact that Amy is his girlfriend with Doll,in fact he made it clear to both of them just who they are to him. He was respectful of her feelings and when he realized she was threatened he reassured her and comforted her. 2nd trust is trust... period... it doesnt matter with whom..a friend , an ex , a sexy stranger at a bar you either can/do trust someone or you dont. I think he's being unjustly put through the ringer after being upfront about the whole situation and sensitive to all involved. There isnt a single "red flag" here .He seems to be a good guy and I think (no disrespect intended) Amy needs to mature up a little and appreciate a good man , as all of you ladies constantly remind us men, is hard to find. Just my humble opinion...

[AmonSeth]

I think them going to lunch is a wonderful idea thank you for suggesting it. I really hope this all works out.

[Judy246]

Ok Amon....I believe you and the name Dahilia is beautiful, maybe if Dahilia would talk to her and reassure her that their is no reason for doubt it would help and maybe Dahilia can offer an invitation to lunch..just her and Amy and that way they can get to know each other without you being present and who knows, they just might become best friends, but you need to reassure Amy that she is the one all over again. Good luck.

[AmonSeth]

first let me thank you for your opinions. I was so upset by the whole thing because Amy has so many friends male and female, she spends time with them all the time, sometimes with me some times not. and a few of her guy friends or really handsome men. But I trust Amy completely, and I guess i expected her to trust me the same way.

And yes maybe i was a little to excited when Doll( full name Dahilia) came home, but I have not seen her in years, and she is one of my true friends. If Doll was a man, this would not be a problem.

And to answer a few of you I do not have those feeling for Doll, I never have, when I say she is like a sister I really mean that. And I am positive that she does not have feeling for me, she has never once done or said anything to make me think otherwise. and up till this point Her and Amy got on along on the phone just fine.
oh and i did not kiss doll, I kissed amy on the cheek.

[Judy246]

Thanks, I sure did :) ...anyway, I also think that maybe, just maybe he just might have an attraction for Doll (hate her name :)

Amon, if you value Amy and your relationship, back off with this Doll friend, respect Amy's emotions and show her that she is the one and only one or your headed for trouble. As the old saying says, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!? take this to heart...it's true.

[Lucey12]

Judy I think you misread it like I had at first. I think he was saying Amy was grinding her teeth when he kissed Amy and said e right back.

Tough situation dude. Like Judy said, if Amy wasnt in the picture, would you consider Doll? If so, back away from here and only be with her while supervised.

[mami1323]

I'm also in agreeance with the other 2 posters.  I actually walked into my current relationship while he was still best friends with his ex.  Even though they had a relationship prior and you and doll didn't, the feelings were still the same.  I wasn't excited about it at all and in reality his so called "best friend" was manipulative and jealous of our relationship and broke us up for a short while.  She wanted to be with him and wanted me out of the picture.  So that may not be the same thing going on in your situation, no woman likes to see their man excited to see another woman.  No way in heck would I allow another woman to sit upfront with my man unless it was his sister or mother or family member of his.  Amy is your concern since you want to share a life with her.  Even though you are friends with Doll you need to distance yourself from her and make sure Amy knows she's number 1 in your life.  

[Shara21]

I agree 100% with everything Judy said here.

How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If Amy got SOO excited that one of her old guy friends was going to be moving back. In the pics you saw of him he looked like a cute 10 year old guy. Then at the airport Amy flies into the arms of a 6'2'' perfectly toned man that looks like he belongs on an underwear add. They share a good squeaze and she clings on to him tightly.   <-- is that a situation that would make you comfortable?

Chances are too that Amy has heard 1000 things that you think are great about your best friend.... Even if YOU know your intentions are 100% honest, It's intimidating.

I would appologize to Amy if I were you and i definitly wouldn't wait for her to apologize.

Also, I'll just add quickly, as an outsider, reading your post, you seem to have Doll on a bit of a pedestal... that's just the way it comes off.....

[Judy246]

It's obvious you don't know women. I would have reacted the same way if I were in her shoes. Amy is threatened at the "excited" attention that you are giving another woman that she really doesn't know (Doll). I also think that Doll might be misleading with other intents. You noticed that she looks beautiful,so with all that said, if you value your relationship with Amy, treat Doll the way she should be treated as a friend. That means, no jumping up and down...goodie, Doll is coming, no walking to door and kissing her in front of Amy, in fact, I'm going to be quite honest with you, if I was in that situation, it would eventually end up either me or her. Women are just like that and we don't share our man with another woman regardless if its a friend.

Question, do you have feeling for Doll? Is there a posibility that if you and Amy don't work out, you just might consider Doll?....only you know the answer.