My boyfriend has a smoking fetish.

[alynnm]

OK so I have a serious problem. I feel like I am completely worthless because of this and each day it seems to get worse. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. When we first met he was amazing (or maybe he just hid stuff better). Then I noticed one time when I was on his computer that he had a LOT of porn. But that was ok because it was just usual stuff, everyone does it, and I liked to look at it too. Then he made me start smoking because he said he thought it was sexy. So I did because I loved him so much that I would do anything for him. About a year after that I would notice different porn on his computer. Other girls smoking. He actually bought an external hard drive for his computer because his collection of porn got so huge. One day I told him that it sort of bothered me how he looks at other girls when he said that it's the same as looking at regular porn. So I decided to let him get away with it. Then I had to quit smoking because I got stomach ulcers. This past September we moved in together and I have noticed some AWFUL changes. I buy sexy clothes and do whatever I can to get him to have sex with me. I am pretty good looking so I do not understand why he won't have sex with me. I wake up in the morning and he won't be laying next to me so I go out to see if he left or something, but he will be at his computer "relieving" himself to pictures. Then just yesterday I had to use his computer to make a resume and noticed that there were pictures on the desktop. Being curious, I looked at them and they were out mutual friends pictures of her with a smoke in her hand!!!!! He had pulled the pictures off of Facebook. This is getting WAY out of hand and I don't know if I should leave him or what. Somebody please help me. I am miserable!

[specialmom]

Old post.

[alynnm]

Thank you so much! I never thought I would find another person who went through the same thing. Your post really made me feel better. I plan on moving out soon. I can't stand to be around him anymore.

[Beenerkitty]

OMG! I dated a guy over 10years ago with the SAME facsination! I smoke so that wasnt an issue but he wanted me to put on red lipstick and smoke the long thin cigs very seductively. anyways, i did it for a while and then finally got to a point where i thought dude-youre weird. we ended up moving in together but after a while i got so sick of him i woke up one morning and kicked him out. we were not even fighting. i just wanted him gone. im so glad i did that. looking back i would never do that again. its not worth risking your mental or physical health over. take care of yourself first. he is being really disrespectful of you with all the porn. he is selfish. hope all works out. let me know if you need to talk

Bkitty

[Jules_za]

Step out of the frame and look at the picture.  He is bad news, leave him.

[alynnm]

Oh and I forgot to add this. I tell him how I feel all the time but he doesn't seem to care. When I cry he tells me to shut up or f*** off. He says it's not my business and it's not my place to tell him what to do. I cry almost every single day and he yells at me for it or laughs at me. Very rarely he will comfort me and tell me he will stop. But he never does. He lies constantly and when we go out in public he STARES at girls who are smoking. It's embarassing and the girls seem pretty creeped out.