My boyfriend keeps bringing up his ex wife

[floridagirl318]

My boyfriend has been divorced from his ex now for about two years.  Everytime we are together he always brings her up, always negative, but he still brings her up.  He compares me to her and tells me how much nicer, and just over all a better person than she was.  He tells me story after story about the things that she use to do and how it annoyed him.  Honestly we can't go a couple hours without her name being brought into the conversation.  He has even shared things from their sex life together and how she would or wouldn't do certain things in the bedroom.  He also talks about one of his ex girlfriends and their sexual relationship as well.  I don't know if this is normal and I am being way to sensitive or if this is totally inappropriate.  I have told him that I don't like hearing about his past sexual relationships and for a bit he didn't talk about them.  I don't bring up my ex husband, or compare him to my ex, good or bad.  I don't think it is right.  Do I just need to chill out?

[kiagirl980]

Ive been dating this guy for a little over a month. We havea been very open with each other and told each other about past relationships. Ive told him what other guys didnt like me to do to them but he hasnt told me that he likes me doing those things or not. Our relationship is perfect other than if he says well why didnt you do this r that i say well you didnt say you liked me doing that and then he brings my exs back in to it by saying oh well just because your ex didnt like it dont mean that i wont, then he blames me for bringing up my exs.I m so confused. You can email me privately if you want, my email is ***@****

[Londres70]

No, you don't need to "chill out," but he does.  

Geez......he sounds like he doesn't have a self-edited button, a.k.a. no boundaries about what is appropriate to talk about and what isn't in regards to you.  He may have unresolved feelings in regards to these two exs.  

To be perfectly honest, I would consider this a HUGH red flag.  

If he is talking to you about all the details of his previous sexual relationships it makes you wonder if he is telling others about your sex life?

As SM stated, have ONE MORE talk with him about this and if he can't control this than put the KABOSH on him.  

This is NOT normal in my opinion......apparently it is for him.  

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  No, I'm with you.  First of all, you'd like your time with him to be about YOU and not her.  Second, well, I am always suspicious of someone that goes on and on about someone else in a negative way.  Like maybe he's not over it.  and third, you've asked him to stop.  I personally NEVER want to hear about my partner having sex with someone else.  I mean, who needs anyone to paint that picture in your mind??  

I'd give him one more shot----  tell him that you really have no interest in discussing his past sex life or listen to constant references to the ex.  Make it clear that this is getting to be something that overshadows the relationship and basically he sounds bitter and still trapped in his past.  

Then he either decreases it or he doesn't.  If he doesn't, in all honesty---  I'd move on.  He's not over the relationship if he can't respect your wishes to stop talking about it.  

good luck dear