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My fiance watches porn everytime I leave our house. Can someone explain

How can a female really feel good about herself? If im good enough to do love making to and record it all y watch porn?
6 Responses
134578 tn?1602101550
I've always been indifferent to whether or not my husband watches porn. It never made me feel self-conscious or judged or like any comparisons were going on. But my husband doesn't watch very much porn -- when he was younger he might watch the random bit on business trips, and I don't know if he ever watches any now.  

How old is your fiance? How much porn does he watch? Do you think he is a sex addict, or could he just be generally horny? This is probably not a judgement on you, it's probably just him being a horndog for one reason (sex addiction) or the other (hormones).

134578 tn?1602101550
I've been thinking about this. If your fiance literally watches porn every single time you leave the house, this is more than just adolescent hormones in action. He's either super depressed and uses it to boost himself out of his misery, or he's a sex addict, or something else a bit abnormal is going on. Guys watch sports, they work on projects, they read, they hang out with their buddies -- they don't just watch porn all the time. Add to this that he has filmed you having sex, and it kind of sounds like he would be the sort of guy to get into porn chat rooms and pass along the films. Please take it seriously and be thoughtful about what you are getting into and why you are letting him depress you enough that you take it all personally. This is his problem and not a referendum on your attractiveness. But I would say it's also a referendum on you standing up for yourself and your right to find a relationship where you do not feel badly about yourself. Please see a therapist or counselor about ways to feel more self assured and self-secure. Maybe you do not need this guy. You are giving your power away.
3060903 tn?1398565123
How are you tracking what he does when you're out of the house? How do you know he watches porn whenever you leave the house. I agree with AB - healthy guys do a whole lot more with their time than just doing porn. It sounds unhealthy and it has nothing to do with YOU. It has to do with him.  Let him own it, NOT YOU. This doesn't sound like a healthy or sexually compatible relationship for you.  You have every right to expect more from a man than to make you feel like you're not enough, when in fact, it's him and his ways that are not enough for you.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
For a lot of men, porn is a quick release.  Nothing personal about it.  It just helps them get off quickly and with no obligation to cuddle afterwards.  Try not to take that personally!  What about talking to him to air how this is making you feel though?  Would he be responsive?  Do you still have an active sex life with him?
3060903 tn?1398565123
I would beware of a guy that i was not that close to, making tapes and videotaping yourself making love to him though. These things are used against women all the time upon breaking up.
Avatar universal
It's an addiction. I know from being married to a man who was addicted to porn and honest about it but I couldn't handle it.  I wasn't okay with it. he wanted to stop but still was a problem. we talked about it -he told me that the more you watch it the more devious it gets.  It's not good for YOUR sexual relationship imo. He started watching it every time we'd fight.  It made me feel awful. And My husband had a very dark side when it came to sex that I was not comfortable with and I know it was from the pornography. He wanted me to be more slutty. He wanted me to be like the girls in pornography and that is just not a typical marriage and I wasn't okay pretending to be someone I wasn't. You don't want to deal with that the rest of your life especially if you're already feeling this way about it you won't be one of those people who are okay with it and that's okay. There was an app called x3 that can hold your bf accountable IF he wants to be. I'm passionately against pornography at this point because of what it did to our marriage and it won't get better once you get married (the lust) like he thought it would.
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