My girlfriends dumped me over dinner

[rooboo]

I had cheated on my girl once, she would not have found out but I could not bear to continue w/out telling her. I told her and the relationship when dull. I don't understand why she can't beliave me anymore. I feel sad and alone. she simply didn't want me. ( I feel like crying every time I think of her) So we were having trouble because she couldn't trust me. On valentines day I bought her a promisse ring. I made a vow to never hurt her. I told her that I wanted her to trust me, I love her and that I would do everything to be with her. I mention getting engaged after the relationship settled down. Through the ups and downs of her chronicly accusing me of continuing to cheat on her abd me having doubts about her staying true to me. we were having a bad time when she suggested to go for a hike, we did out of all the pain and tireness I enjoid myself so much. I even told her that I feel better of the relationship. I was happy we did something new and exciting. next day I was all hipped up about my new outlook of life, I asked her to hang out and she said no, she was going to bed early I said okay. later that night I went on facebook, she was logged on, so i tryied to engage in a simple conversation, she did not respondn soon after she logged off. I proceded to text her good night and said i loved her. later next day she wanted to hang out and have dinner I said yes because I was wanting to see her. Over dinner she asked me how my day was I said fine it was boring, and I was feeling sick.  She jumped to add wheather I was hangging out with ******. To that extent I said no , she replied i thought you would hang out with your friends. to that I responded wit " no, why were you hangging out with yours" . (about a month or two I cought her hangging out with a coworker outside her house in her car. around 2am both were drinking and she said she would never hurt me that way, she said she wasn't like me.)

over dinner she beggan to cry and dumpeed me over dinner. she said I made her depressed. I understod i had the blame and let her go. i love her and I want her back.

[rooboo]

I will learn to let it go. I won't be the person in her life that drags her down. Not me, not anymore. I know it is something that is unforgivable. But I will always have hope. I am not a bad person, but I know I have commited mistakes. I would rather wish and hope for her happines rather than mine. If she finds happines I know I will too. Knowing she will smile and laugh again, EVEN IF NOT WITH ME, would satisfy my sorrow. I feel like became a sexist jerk. Now I reflect on all the mistakes we as a couple had made. I am guilty of not showing affection and much more.

I know teko, move on, but just in case I will have my heart ready. Now I need time to reflect.

[teko]

Love shouldnt hurt. Hindsite is always 20/20. You have heard all the sayings I am sure. You should have thought about how much you loved her instead of getting off with someone else. To a woman sex is the result of a love shared and deepened. When you do that deed with someone else, you are giving them the gift your lover should only have. It is a betrayal on so many levels to a woman. It turns them into jealous insecure people that they dont want to be. So in order to feel whole again, they move on and get rid of whatever or whoever it was that turned them into that woman they dont want to become. She is done. Accept it and move on. She now sees past your words and promises and realizes you are not who she thought you were. Since that person never existed she is over it.

[rooboo]

To be fair i did, I cheated, I had intercourse, I will not justify my actions, I forgave her when she got drunk w/ my best friend and they did gods knows what. She has had her share of lust. I forgave her because I loved her. Hell I did not even question what she did with him. I took her back.  I hope I can learn to work things out w/ myself I don't want to be an aHole. I will always love her. I won't stop. after all badtimes come and go, but the good ones you remember. I still hope she loves me. I can't bear to see her w/ another not yet.

[penswriter]

you cheated on her. that is something hard if not impossible for some people to get over. my father cheated on my mother and she had divorce papers ready for him to sign within 3 days. like my mom if my dh would EVER cheat on me ...he'd have divorce papers in 2 days.

she obviously could not get over it and i don't blame her. it's not easy trusting someone after that. you can't just ask her to trust you. now that she has left you...learn from your mistake. try not to do it in the next relationship.

[specialmom]

I was writing and see your second post now.  I want to reiterate that I am very sorry you are so sad.  I think I would just let it sit for a few days without contacting her.  Do you have a friend or someone that you can call and talk to?  Sometimes that helps.  You should try to distract yourself in the upcoming days, keep busy.  Broken hearts hurt and I have no words to make that better.  You will feel happy again, I promise.  It just takes time.  good luck

[specialmom]

Rooboo, it is always sad when someone breaks up with us and it is not what we want.  But it is reality and it happens.  Dating is for finding out what you like and dislike about someone.  Many women have a hard time getting over infidelity and it sounds like the relationship had issues along the way with communication as well . . .  so she felt it best to end it.  I know you want her back but she has made up her mind.  All you can do is go on with your life and if she finds that she misses you, she may contact you again.  Of course, you can not count on this so you need to find your own happiness elsewhere.  Find some friends to hang out with, call a sister or your mom and tell them that you are sad, do something special for yourself.  Don't find solitude in another woman's arms just yet and think about why this relationship didn't work.  Your comment about bad things happening when the relationship is "dull" is something for you to think about.  Every relationship will have those moments.  We learn from each relationship we have, so take the lesson from this one.  Again, I'm sorry you have a broken heart and hope that you find joy soon.  good luck

[rooboo]

* I just want to be with her, she won't even talk to me, she is trying to forget, Do i have chance what can I do to get her attention again, I have feeling she is interested in another guy I don't want to believe it. I want to be with her. I am so sorry I tryied telling her this I wanted her to say yes, but she told me that there was nothing left. 3 years + and it ends like this I can't handle it. help!!