My husband is a good man, but he has a big mouth

[Jbraaten]

My husband and I have been together for almost 2 years, married for almost 1. We are both overweight, and this has never been a problem. When we were dating he made me feel so completely special and beautiful. I have put on a weight over the course of the last year, and I am trying to lose the weight now, but like every dieter in the world from time to time I slip. When those times come he is the most critical and hurtful person I have ever met. I don't like to work out around him or in front of him because he laughs at me or tells me what I'm doing wrong. When I eat something (just one little thing is all it takes) he throws a fit saying things like "Do you really need that?" "I thought you were trying to LOSE weight." I've tried talking to him about it but he just gets angry. He doesn't think I have any reason to be upset with the things he's saying because he is trying to motivate me. But in reality he is making me feel horrible about myself. I don't know what to do, I'm embarassed to work out at home and if I want to go to the YMCA he goes with me, and then complains the whole time until we leave. I love him..I just wish he would shut up! He is the last person I want judging me. Now that I'm trying to diet again he's been even worse than usual. I bought a work out video and he said it was a waste of money. Now he insists I do it in front of him so that he can see that I'm actually using it!

[teko]

He is purposly trying to get you to fail. He is insecure himself and if you get slim and fit, he might lose you. Men generally do not like change. I thought the idea of telling him you are off the diet was a good one. ...... The control and sneering will stop, he will be at ease again and you will be more successful.

[treazzure007]

you need to
a) tell him everything you just said in this post and ask that he change and be more considerate, compassionate, and understanding, plus shut up

or
b) let him read this post and ask that he change and be more considerate, compassionate, and understanding, plus shut up

[SeriousSam]

Sign up for a Y exercise course that is just for women.  But.. keep in mind that he probably has some insecurities that he has trouble keeping in check regarding his own weight that he is projecting on you.

[babypooh]

Honey, I know that you love him, but if he is verbally abusing you, it's plenty reason to consider couples therapy if he doesn't listen to you. His way of "motivating" you is just mean and he needs to admit that. Love yourself, have some pride and don't let him treat you like that. If he loves you, he needs to love you how you are and encourage you the right way if you want to lose weight. I agree with Angiesmom; tell him that you're not going to diet anymore, but keep it to yourself when you do. Or just tell him straight out that you don't need his "motivation" and to please keep his comments to himself. Be firm about it and make it clear that you're not going to tolerate it anymore. I'm very sorry he's putting you through this. Be strong and think about what's best for YOU. Good luck.

[Agiesmom]

You do know this isn't about your weight or dieting or exercising, don't you?  He's being controlling--plain and simple.  And why won't he let you go to the YMCA by yourself?  

I would tell him that you are no longer dieting--that you are ok with yourself the way you are--then I'd keep working at eating better and stop at the YMCA after work or on your way grocery shopping to exercise.  Would that be possible for you?