My parents and my health

[Helpless41]

First some back ground information.  When I was in the hospital back in 1999. I was in the hospital for several problems, Kidney, bladder infections all the time. I was in the hospital four weeks at one time. I got a complete work up. During this time my father would call my hospital room and tell me that the doctors didn’t know what they are doing, I was only in the hospital for pain medication, and I was making it all up for attention. I just cried. I guess I was yelling back because the nurses came in my room, they were very kind. One sat down next to me and told me she heard some of the conversation. She just told me to hang in there and never give up.  I was so really beat down about everything going on in my life. I was very positive about the outcome of my health situation. I knew it was just a matter of time before they found the cause. Two years later they found the cause. It was a “cause and effect” thing.  One problem lead to another and another. Once the main issue was fixed, all the other problems went away. It did some damage to other organs but I felt so much better. Now, it has started all over again. I tell my parents (I love very much) one thing about my health that has gotten to a severe point. I am doing all I can to get better but the same kind of phone call phone again (last night). My father called and gave me the third degree about my heath. I have learned, not to tell the whole picture of my health problems to them. I don’t know if I do this for me, them or both.  He puts down the doctors (They don’t know what they are doing) to “If you go in the hospital, it would be the worst thing you could ever do”. I have never put myself in the hospital. My doctors do. I tell him this over and over to him, to no prevail. All they hear is excuses which to me is the truth. It's what my doctors tell me. I have to have a heart stress test next week.  My father’s response “It doesn’t do a damn thing”. I am to overweight they say. I don’t eat right. Yes, my doctors say I am a little over weight but it is not the main cause of things. My e.f.g was very ad normal and my blood pressure was 189/110. I know this is very dangerous. I have asked myself “If the doctors put me in the hospital today, can I handle the stress of my parents with everything thing going on?” So I beg them not too. They give me meds to help with my blood pressure and my migraines. My father even told me to stop taking them because it doesn’t make since to him why they would give me all the meds when it was my weight causing the whole thing. I didn’t say a word. I am just so lost and don’t know what to do?. I will always put my health first but hate the fact I have to deal with my parents that worry about me too much. I am 42 year old.I have bgeen though so much health issues. Just leave me alone. (I didn’t even tell them about my e.k.g). Any idea on how to handle this? I just try and keep to myself as much as I can. I don't want to make any waves. I am not looking for pitty from them, I just say away and hide.

[specialmom]

Well, there is a bonus in being 42 years old.  This is your life and as long as they are not footing your bills, then you can seek treatment and be treated for whatever ails you.  You don't need your parents approval for that.  

I'd downplay your health problems and hopefully they will resolve with treatment.  

Be careful with prescription drugs.  Sadly, it is often prescribed and someone inadvertently becomes addicted.  So unfortunate as it happens innocently enough.  It is such a tough thing---  to adequately control pain while keeping your distance from narcotic pain relievers.  I'm sure you've found the right balance if this is what your parents are concerned about.

good luck

[Helpless41]

Thanks for your reply. I have only taken medication that has been doctor prescribed. I have no idea why they question my health and my doctors all the time. I think I am starting to get so use to it. I just grit my teeth and tell them as little as I can. I think they are just really worried about me. All my heath issues. I think they take it way to far. Caring is one thing but making me feel bad for my health problems is another. I just keep on doing what my doctors say in hopes my parents don't get involved or find out. I can only think how they would react if I told them about the EKG. It is sad to say but I wish they would just let me be.

[specialmom]

Well, that is unfortunate that you are having such health problems.  I feel for you and wish you a full recovery!!  And it stinks that your dad and mother as well are not supportive.  

What is it they are questioning?  Have you had a drug problem in the past or something?  

I mean, doctors are pretty good about detecting made up stories and drug seeking behavior.  They'd put the kabash on that and I would think your dad would know that.  

I'm just trying to understand the situation.  Again, sorry it is so stressful to further complicate your health dear.  Hang in there.  

More information as to why your dad is questioning you would be helpful.  (or why you THINK)