My wife has stopped loving me suddenly.

[Everybody hurts]

My wife just came back from 1 month and 20 days of vacation. When she came back she seemed so distanced and I asked her why she is distanced and haven't even said you love me yet? She said of course I love you and said that I am being paranoid. Days went by and I found a picture of her and another man, she says that is her cousing but she looks like she misses him very badly everytime she speaks to him on the phone or looks at his pictures. I asked her if she is cheating on me and she said no. So we had a small argument and she said she wants a divorce and When I asked why she said ''I don't love you anymore'' I looked her in the eyes and said please be honest and she said I have love for you but I can't stay with you and I have to move and be single again.

She has been gone for over a week now and I'm seriously hurting and i keep calling her but she never picks up , I keep messaging her but she never returns any of them. I'm scared I lost my wife to another man, and I have been with her since I was 15 , now i am 23 and I have a kid with her. She said she doesn't care about my happiness and my child happiness but only hers. I have no idea what to do, I havent had a decent meal since she left because everytime i want to eat I remember her being with another man and it tears me apart.

Should I leave her alone or should I pursue her and make her mine again?

What if she is in love with this other man and she has stopped loving me?

[pogix2]

the same thing happened to me.if she don't want to talk you that means she has noting more to say to you. leave her be just file for the divorce.. control our emotions let just both move on ... she never or just don't love us any more..

[simbacatz]

I am assuming you were her first boyfriend. I think she probably wants to see what else is out there. Why did she go on a vacation without you? In most cases, vacations are suppose to be with spouse/family. I think you guys were having problems for quiet a bit.You can't make someone love you, if she says she doesn't love you anymore; then I think it's over. I think you should just file for a divorce. Move on, you are only 23. You still have a whole life to live. I know it's easy to say, but I think that's the best thing to do.

[jd1419]

It sounds like you were both way to young to get married and be together since your were 15--There was no space for you to grow up--And who goes on vacation for a month and 1/2 away form there husband?  Away for that long she probably did realise that she needed to grow up and be a different person...I feel sorry for both of you---you need to talk with a counsler and work out arrangements for your child (he/she) must be the most important person in your life right now.

[Everybody hurts]

There was misunderstanding , she took the kid with her. The thing that is killing me the most is, some other man being the father of my kid. She loved me so dearly and for her to stop loving me suddenly is a huge blow to be honest, she is a great mother and she used to be a great wife but things have changed.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You call your child "the kid?"  That does not sound loving or caring. I guarantee that you two have been having problems for a long time and you just don't want to admit it.

You cannot control another person.  If she is going to be with this other guy you will just have to deal.  As for your child, if you truly have his best interests at heart and feel you will provide a more stable home than talk to a lawyer.  Again I remind you, do not make your child a battlefield.

And so what if another man will be in your child's life.  You are still his Daddy and will always be his role model.  Maybe this other man will be loving and caring as well.  What a horrible thing, another adult to love your child.  (That was sarcasm.)

Focus on the happiness and comfort of your child.  Do not seek reveange.  You cannot control this situation, you can only control your reaction to it.

[Trialanderror]

"The kid" sounds so unemotional...whom do you miss more? Her or your child? That may help to know in further responses.

[sparkeler]

Let her go.  She obviously does not love you anymore.  For her to abandon you is one thing, but to her own child?  That's awful.  I agree seek sole custody & file for divorce.  The sooner you move on, the better it will be for everyone.  I know you don't see it now, but I PROMISE you a broken heart will always mend.  Everyone has gone through it at least once & it's really unavoidable in life. It's ok to grieve.  You will love again & your appetite will come back.  Pick yourself up by your boot straps & grab life by the horns. You have to, if not for yourself, for your child.

[RockRose]

Thank God and greyhound she's gone.    GEEZ!  I really don't understand a woman who will leave her baby behind so she can go have sex with some other guy.  

I think she doesn't have a soul,  and nows as good a time as any to find that out.  

I know you are really hurt,  but she doesn't deserve you.    And if she left and left you with your child with no way to contact her,  I'd call an attorney and file for divorce AND file abandonment charges.

Someday,  this pain will end - and hopefully,  you'll somehow manage to get your child through it too.

Best wishes.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

"Pursuing her and making her mine again"  That's stalking.  Stop calling her, stop messaging her.  She is done, she has made that very clear.  You will need to move on.  You obviously married very young and to the wrong person.

Now you need to look after yourself and your child.  The first thing you need is a lawyer, you will need to establish custody and access with you wife.  

I know you are going through hell right now, but you need to man up and move on with your life.  If you continue to pursue her you are going to get in trouble and that will affect custody and access issues.  Leave her be.  She obviously has her own things to work through.  And would you really want a cheater back?  

Go get counselling as this is a huge blow and your should have a neutral party to talk to.  You will need to find a way to interact on a positive way with your ex as you share a child.  Your child has the right to a great relationship with each parent.  Do not make your child a battleground.

Good luck.