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Avatar universal

No sex for loving husband

I am a thirty year old woman who has been married to my wonderful husband for five years now.  From the get go my sex drive was an issue.  We dated for three years before we got married and he is the only person I have ever had sex with.  I just don't a have sex drive.  I love him dearly, he treats me like a queen, we have a great time spending time together and we have a great relationship otherwise.  This low sex drive is starting to wear on us though.  Labs all came back okay other than low iron which i take supplements for.  He encourages me to talk about it and wants to know what he can do to "fix it" and I just don't know what to say and I feel horrible about it.  Even when I give in and go along with sex when I really don't feel like it, he can pick up on it and then he feels guilty.  I don't want to lose my best friend.  Help!
5 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
How is your drive to load the dishwasher,  take out the garbage and take your car in  for an oil change?

Not that high?  

But you do it.  

Just do it,  that way.  With a smile on your face.  I am telling you,  this will pay off in SPADES.  
1467985 tn?1289777446
I agree with Rock Rose. I don't always feel like having sex either, but usually after a little while I find that I am enjoying it. Get a bit of lube, and you are golden!

Do you have trouble with orgasm?


134578 tn?1614729226
You might also talk to the doctor and see if experimenting with a low dose of estrogen for a couple of months would help.  

Finally, you might talk to a therapist.  Maybe there is something in your earlier life that simply turns you off to sex.

Avatar universal
One question?  Do you or have you ever climaxed?  I know this is personal, but a lot of times it is not you, it is your partners as he doesn't know how to please you.

I'm not saying that is true in your case, but it was in mine!  I went to the doctor because my husband said it was my fault, and come to find out, my husband wasn't "doing things right."

Also, are you on any meds that can cause low libido?  Like antidepressants?  Talk with your doctor about any medical reasons first, also talk to your husband if he is not pleasing you.  And IF that is the case, you have to speak up in bed to get what you want, they aren't mind readers.

If all else fails, then speak to your doctor about low sex drive, and good luck to you.
Avatar universal
You need to get a gal pal and let your man experiment with it. Everyone gets turned on, it just depends on what it takes to get you fired up! If this embarrasses you to think of such a thing, that could be your problem? So maybe you need a little help and that help might be an external source, but could be such fun for both of you.
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