she needs to tell him he either stops or he leaves.
Real simple...me or her (period), no more if or buts, me or her now and back it up.
This is internet infidelity and if they were to break up over this Chico chick and he met her and it doesn't quite turn out the way he thought it would over the internet, he would have big regrets, so, this is real simple....me or her right now!
I agree. She has said that, hes said here, but is sill talking to this other girl at 5am! She said seh really loves him and hes been helping out alot more and more loving but hes still talking to Chico!.
I would leave and take the computer with me :)
This is one that is not to be taken lightly by him. She has to show him that she means business, if after the "She goes, or I go and he continues, she needs to take action"...This behavior is not to be tolerated and fast action to nick it in the butt on the spot (I know, I'm a little harsh, but I mean business with men....behavior not tolerated).
Just like everyone else said, he needs to choose! Beth or Chico(doesn't chico mean boy en espanol? lol) Anyways he needs to choose and stick with that choice. if he chooses Beth then he needs to stop ALL contact with Chico. And if he continues to contact her then Beth needs to walk out that door and not look back.
I have a male cousin nicked name Chico and yes it mean boy in Spanish. (lol)
leave him and get on with her life ko
I see that too, but how does she find the strength to do that when she loves him (the *** that he is, she still loves him)
Love is an emotion that can be debilitating or facilitative and she has to begin by having self respect and never permiting a man to have that much control over her emotions. She needs to first except that the behavior goes against her moral values and accepting that the only person that she can control and take action is for herself.
It is simply unexceptable behavior and if she stays with him she a weak, controlled, low self esteemed person who will continue to be in dysfunctional relationships because she is "in love". Some behaviors are not to be tolerated weather he is the lover of her life or not, but if he loved and respected her, he would never bring anyone else into his life.
also, if she is that weak minded, to seek a counselor to be able to stand on her own two feet!
Given this guy's history, Beth would be much better off without him. He refuses counseling, which means he refuses to better himself, which also means he doesn't want to stop! It's time to face reality here, and that is this guy is bad news. Beth can either continue to put up with it, or leave. Either way will be miserable, but at least the 2nd option has a light at the end of the tunnel.
Beth needs to have some respect for herself!!! She needs to put her foot down & tell Chico straight up Me or her. If it were Me I wouldn't even put up with that sh*t or give him a choice, I would just leave him!! What hes doing to Beth is very disrespectful, selfish, and heartless. I don't care if its cheating over the internet or in person. Its still cheating & she shouldn't put up with it. Chico is not gonna change. Beth is going to end up being heartbroken regardless.
I really think Beth should go to individual counseling and work on her self esteem and learn how to Love herself & put her needs first. She needs to get the strength to leave him and not put up with that from Chico or any other man. I doubt he will change, he doesn't even want to go to counseling to her. That goes to show what kind of person he is & how serious he is NOT!! Shes better off without that loser!
Thanks you all. The hard part is convincing her of all this. Ive told her to leave him, and that many people would help her out with house payments or whatever needs to happen.
I think hte best thing would be for her to go to a counsellor like you said so she can be independent and make the choice for her self. Il suggest that to her. Thank you all so much.
I hope she comes to her senses and gets the strength to leave him! He is basically focusing on an imaginary relationship and should be focusing on his real relationship with Beth. You can't have a real relationship over the internet or through the phone! People lie, they make up stories about themselves adn who even knows if Chico's pic is what she really looks like?? He's in a fantasy world and needs to snap out of it.
And Beth needs a self esteem boost so she can realize how messed up this is and take her life into account and not put up with it.
Oh I know about the fantasy thing. My MIL (the M is for monster in this case) Goes on lavalife and has met lots of people. She met them in person, went by her self and when to their home the first night ans slept with the guys. She just got back saturday from hongkong where she met up with a guy who lives in australia. She met up with another aussy in june. The one in june she was head over heals for and when she first saw him, she knew he wasnt the one but continued to sleep with him and lead him on because he paid for her trip! It sickens me that she has this life (she is also an alcoholic so that could be where the craziness comes from)
most people will stay with him because of the children but what happens when the children find out how hurtful he was to beth.they will look down on him or they will look down on bethg beings the baby is such a daddy's girl she might think bad of beth no matter what happens.its a no win situation.i say leave him.we already know the reputation facebook has so that has to tell you something.beth should take her children and start a new life not excluding him from the childrens lives
when you get hurt time and time again don't keep going back for more just because you love him.i loved this women oncre along time ago and she kept hurting me with her ex boyfriends always talking about them and she thought it was ok to stay in contact with them so one day i woke up and said to myself as much as i love her i have to let her go for my own good and fifteen years later she called me and we started seeing each other again.in all those years she hasn't changed one bit so i let her go for the last time and she asked why and i told her but she kept trying to defend herself.letting her go was the healthies thing i could have done for myself. don't jump out of the frying pan and jump into the furnace