Oxycotin, Morphine, pot and cronic pain, causing marriage loss

[james676]

Hello, I have cronic pain from a surgery to my spine, One more surgery may occur, plus I am in and out of getting nerve root blocks in my spine, next shot is this thursday. My question or my problem is that, I have been in a good marriage for 10 years and now, that I am a stupid not working pot head that is now addicted to Oxy and morphine. That was the straw that broke my marriage's back. I love her very much, I think she is in a love hate stage. I have been moved out, during my oxy daze, one day I woke up and I was alone, I do not remember the move. I do not blame her, I love her and I want to make it right. How can I remove the drugs from my system so I can think straight again, and love again. I am having disfunction of my penis and I know it kills her to not have me as sexually active anymore. She wants a divorce, I want off the drugs and to work out my problems and love her again. can someone please help me. I swear I feel like life is not worth living if she is not in my life as my lover and wife. I do not like how the drugs make me feel, I just want them gone, out of my system. Please help.
Thank you
James

[Jaybay]

I tend to agree NJ.  There's more misinformation in this thread than solid fact.  People who are prescribed methadone for the traditional reason of getting off street drugs WILL go through withdrawal if they suddenly stop taking it.  You have to wean off methadone just like any other opiate medication.  Suboxone is just the latest and greatest in "damage control" meds.  It contains a synthetic opiate, but also a partial opiate blocker.  If you take any other opiates while taking suboxone, you can put yourself into some really bad withdrawal symptoms.  You also have to wait until you have some fairly strong withdrawal symptoms before taking the first dose.  With suboxone, less is more.  Take too much, and you go into withdrawal.

I have a real problem with docs who are now prescribing suboxone for pain management.  If the patient has to have emergency surgery, he's going to be in serious trouble with anesthesia and post-op pain management.  This drug was never studied or approved for long-term use either.  There is no telling what problems it could cause down the road.

james, every time to lower your dosage to wean off the meds, your pain levels will spike unbelievably as the pain receptors in your brain reset.  It WILL go away in time.  The trick is to hang in there until that particular spike calms down, and then do it all over again.  Some people get so tired of the merry-go-round that they just go cold turkey to get it over with.  There are also other meds besides methadone or suboxone to help deal with withdrawal symptoms.  Dealing with withdrawal is supposed to be within pain doctor's scope of practice, but most of them don't know jack about it.  If you can find an Addictionologist, that's where you'll have the best results.

For now, I think you're going to have to let your wife go and get her own life in order while you work on yourself.  You said you don't remember being moved out of the house.  Well, I guarantee you there are plenty of other things you don't remember too.  But your wife sure does.  Sort your own issues out first, and worry about trying to have some kind of relationship with your wife when you're fully sober again.

[NJBRONCFAN]

You people are idiots.  You confuse methadone with chrystal meth.  Suboxone is the BEST advice you could give an addict as it is the first drug EVER prescribed for opiate withdrawal.  Why wouldn't you want someone taking that????  Idiots!!!!

[ORVIL]

HI-new here. blew my back apart 15 yrs, ago. lost my kids to it . WSIB cut me off 4 x just before xmas and we never had xmas for 4 years. kids were at an age of 10-20 and they don,t forget. so they left and accuse me for the peoblems they have now. it has been 6 yrs. since they last talked to me. i owned a buss. and worked outside of that. so the money seemed to be there and they think thisis a joke. they would do and say things and then lie and say dads on meds and don,t know what he is talking about.  that hurts. my wiffe left with them and came home 4 months later and we have been together since and we have 29 years together but it still hurts no kids. they wanted things and i couldn,t give it to them. i feel that it all my fault and i guess it is being i am the one that got hurt.. i take 360 mg. of mms-contin and other stuff a day . just to walk. CRONIC PAIN is nothing to laugh at. everyone thinks your crazy cause you can,t do what you used to do and when you do go for a walk they think your faking it.... i have a life or so i like to think. but no matter what happens my family wants nothing todo with me no matter how hard i try.. took me 9 years to prove my injury. and it is to late.. i was investagated and neihbours didn,t help and kids talk and when you go and try and have some life they are on you like flies on a bumper.. i finally got the red flag lifted and the pain is still there .. so now i stay out of sight and read and came across this sight. my wife is still with me and sees that this is no joke but nobody listens. i feel or people who have cronic pain. i would hold you all and let you all cry cause i know what it is all about.. GOD will bless the ones with this . its to bad nobody talks about it in public . this is a big problem.. if you had a bone sticking thru your skin people understand that but you cannot see cronic pain and they don,t understand that . and for that i feel sorry for them .... i keep trying and someday things will eas up ---i hope--  take care of yourself first---ORVIL

[Kimmer01]

I too suffer from chronic pain, which has caused not only the loss of my husband, but my family as well. I have not been able to work basically since Aug 05. I now find myself with no income, and no one to turn to. A few weeks ago, I went through a trial for the possibility of having a Morphine Pump implanted. I couldn't believe the difference the meds made. By the third day, if I could've, I'd have gone dancing. Maybe you should check into the pump. I'm still waiting to see the surgeon to have it implanted, and meanwhile, I'm still having to take all of my meds. I know that once the pump is in, the pain will decrease, and I will be able to get my life back. To work again, and most of all to be HAPPY. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my husband back too.

[JoAnnaRF]

I just wanted to clarify something about using medications and narcotics to live with chronic pain. There is a huge difference between a person that uses drugs to "get high" and one that uses them to live with severe and constant pain. The word addict is tossed out there when in fact the person is dependent. Chronic pain is real and not simply an excuse. People with chronic pain don't actually feel "high" when taking medications as prescribed. An Insulin dependent diabetic has to have the insulin to live. People with chronic pain have to have there medications to live. Those that have never experienced chronic pain cannot possibly understand this.  
Now the Pot thing isn't what I am referring to but I do know that pain can cause a person to seek refuge in any form possible. It is so hard to live with someone that is in constant and significant pain. They feel powerless, helpless, and insinificant. This is a lot to expect of anyone.
I do feel for you and wish there was a perfect solution for you but there just isn't. All I can tell you is that you have to take care of you first, before you can take on anyone or anything else. Keep looking for the solution for the pain weather it be in treatment for the pain or surgery. When the pain is gone, it won't be hard to stop taking the meds because you will no longer need them. I just hope you have success one day. I just honestly don't see you as an "addict", just someone stuck as a dependent. I feel for you.
--J

[boogaloo]

Your suggestion was a good one.  I think I too was just mostly taken aback by the meth reference.  Good luck to you too.  Loving someone with addiction issues is very hard.  You love them and want to fix them but can't.  And more often then not, they can't/won't fix themselves.

[mslkpage]

I kept going back trying go figure out where he mentioned methamphetamines, and the only thing I could figure out was rachelln thought methadone and methamphetamine are the same thing!

Anyway, opioid addiction is one of the hardest to overcome. It's chemical structure is very similar to heroin. James, I wish you luck, but you can do it!

[sparkeler]

Mlkspage,  Thanks for telling "hartohart" that I wasn't telling him to use chrystal meth.  Wow, maybe I should have clarified myself.

Boogaloo,  Actually I am not in recovery, but someone I love very much is.  I know alot about addiction especially to narcotics and that is why I suggested suboxone.  I'm also sorry to hear of your troubles.  Good luck to you!

[mslkpage]

Methadone and methamphetamine are two completely different things. She wasn't telling him to use methamphetamines!

Sometimes, switching to a different pain medication is exactly what someone needs. That wasn't bad advice at all, and something he might look into.

[mslkpage]

I'm sorry. I was so blown away by her misinterpretation of sparkeler's post, that I forgot to make a suggestion to you. If your pain management doctor does not agree with your concerns, find a new doctor. Have you told him that you are addicted to these pills? Make sure he understands that's the case. If he still refuses to work with you on a stepdown schedule, find a new doctor that will.

[boogaloo]

Wow, I was trying to figure out where he made a meth reference and noticed the methadone comment.  Methadone is not crystal meth.  It is a drug prescribed for heroin withdrawl and now, some dr.'s are prescribing it for pain management.  It actually may be a good choice for you.  More then likely you would also have xanax prescribed on top of it to help with the anxiety of withdrawl.  

Based of the comments made here, I am guessing none of these people have come off strong narcotics.  I could be wrong about that.  I can tell you that I have been prescribed everything under the sun for chronic migraines and cluster headaches.  Tramadol was murder to come off of.  Horrible stuff.  I do feel better now that I'm on nothing.  I usually walk about 5 miles a day and that seems to help.  With your back pain, walking obviously is not an option.

You are in a tough situation with your back.  Unless you want to be in pain all of the time, you will need some type of help with the back pain.  Being laid up and miserable will not help your marriage either.  Are you over taking your rx's?  It's very easy to do when you've been taking them for a certain amount of time.  You need to work with both your pain management dr, orthopedic (if that's what your seeing for your back)dr and a therapist who specializes in addiction.  Once you take care of you, then you can work on things with your wife if she is willing.  Unfortunately you can't make her stay.  You can, however, become whole again.  

My husband is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict.  Sober 4.5 years.  Being with him during the recovery stage was hell.  I almost called it quits many times and still have my moments.  I wish you a lot of luck.  I hope everything works out well for you.

[rachelln]

Sparkler please, please do not give this man info about other drugs, that is the last thing he needs.

James--Meth, is still very addicting and very danderous. Although you do not withdrawl from it, it is not a way of comming off from another drug.

Meth also has more long lasting effects than any other drug. Your teeth will rot, your hair will fall out, your jaws will constantly move and lock(causeing hell of pain).

Once you get addicted to any drug (which I'm sure you already no) you will go to whatever links to get it. Even if that means buying it home made. It could be laced causing you to OD and if mixed wrong it can blow up a whole block. Don't get mixed up in yet another drug. Please disregard sparklers comment.

I know you are on the drugs because of you medical pain but pot isn't prescribed any more so I'm sure you are buying a 5 dollar joint off the streets. Please be careful and please get help. And yes some rehabs do help you come off drugs by causley weaning you.Maybe not all but some.

Thank you for your kind words.      Casey22/aka rachelln

[sparkeler]

P.S.  Of course I would also suggest counseling.

[sparkeler]

There is a wonder drug out there called suboxone.  (It's sort of like a methadone and its very expensive if not covered by insurance.)  However, it gives you your life back w/out the w/drawl symptoms.  You of course have to find a doctor who is licensed to prescribe this, but it's not too hard.  Alot of people have said it's a "miracle" drug.  You probably need a day or two when first starting the medicine to see how you will react.  But after that, you will literally have your life back plus a lot of hard ons.  Good luck.

[promgirl]

thanks for the input rachelnn

[james676]

Thank you all, Casey I am so sorry about your dad. I truly have a heart felt sorrow for what I cannot imagine you have been a witness to. My prayers are out for you and your father in passing. I agree I need to reduce my amount of meds, I am seeing a pain managment doctor, he is the one who gave me the pills, and consitanly tells me I have to have them. I must admit that when I reduce my amounts my pain spikes, and I am bedridden. I have no children but I want them with all my heart. My wife has been very understanding and I think she has just had enough. I will be joining MA for my pot issue just to keep me on track, but I have not smoked for three days now, I do not think I will have a problem with that. It is the Oxy and Morphine that scares me. I have so much pain and so much discomfort when I am on the meds. Its like a lose lose situation. God I love her so much, I would cut my spine out with a butter knife if I could to feel her love again just for a second. I am shaking and starting to throw up a bit again so I must take some meds and lay down for a bit. Thank you all for your advice and information.
James

[picaboo]

while i agree that you'll need long term treatment, you need to consult a pain management specialist first. MANY treatment facilities are not equipped to handle a gradual medical step down, which is what you need. once you get your dosage reduced, then look into a facility that has detox services. check your insurance to see what services they will cover.

one thing you may not know is that you can actually develop worse pain as a result of using opiates. it can become a vicious cycle. a pain management specialist is where i would start. let them know how bad off you are, and residential treatment should follow after that.

[casey22]

When I read post like this I feel really bad. My dad was addicted to every drug known to man. It is a very hard life. And it will only get worse. My only suggestion is for you to admit your self in a 90 day or LONGER program. Then maybe your wife will relize you are trying to get help. And most of them programs also offer marriage consuling. You have to be ready though, otherwise you are wasting her time and your own.

When I say a 90 program I do not mean go to some meetings, I mean for you to admit your self, to cut your self out from the outside world.

It is going to be a hard, long road but if you REALLY want it, you can do it.

I am going to get a little personal and let you know my dad was sentanced to 8 years in prison for posesion. You would think 8 years would be enough drug rehab huh? 8 months after he got out I found him dead on a couch from a drug over dose.

Do you have children? I am not being harsh, but if you do my advise to your wife would be to get them away from you until you have PROVEN that you are clean. No child should ever have to go through and know soooo much about drugs as I did.

Now to be real....The odds are agianst you. There are less recovered drug addicts than not. Please stop while you have a chance.

OH and arousal is the least of your problems right now. You are eating poison, no wonder your body isn't reacting like it is exspose to.

[siren of the sea]

i suggest talking to your dr and a treatment facility. going cold turkey can be dangerous to your body if you are taking high quantities. and the treatment facility can give you the tools you will need to not go back to the meds. im proud of you. drs get people hooked all the time, i dont know if that was your situation with your back, and then what are we to do? ask her for time. i bet she will give it to you if you work hard at getting your sobriety.