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Avatar universal

People think Im afraid of commitment

Ive had many relationships and it always ends with them messing up as if Im the perfect one.  I know I am the wrong one but I dont know how to stop. I do wrong things all the time and when they do it, its the end no explanations!! I move on with someone else and try to find that perfect one!! I know no one is perfect!! They say when you meet that special one, you will know but I think I will never find him even if Ive already dated him and let him go.  
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662085 tn?1331345560
I also have a low self esteem and am an outcast so i dont easly fall in love but cling to ANY ATTACHMENT at times.

That is stupid, or just smooth talk well ether way that a poor thing to do. I simply think go in a business matter may help but ive always heard people who are too alike dont hold together. We want simularits not be the same. Well what every works for you i wish you the best
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you both make sense, cloudwindgate when you say love is all emotion you are right and specialmom when you said you were more business like I think thats what I need to do because I am very goal oriented and love everyone, when I meet someone and we tell each other what our needs and wants are they say they want the same but always turns out that they were just agreeing with me and in fact dont want the same. for instance: my last boyfriend said he owned a business and I was in process of starting one so he said he would help with it and I ended up doing all the work.... Why say you will do something and not do it? dont lie and say your going to do something and not do it....I never even asked him to help me, he suggested it.  Thats not why we broke up but Im just saying. I fall in love easy because I have low self-esteem and they say the right things and things seem great but that wears off when they do nothing else.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, I don't think your idea is flawed at all and whatever someone does to find love is fine.  I was just giving a different perspective of finding a mate.  I found finding love to be a lot easier than finding a partner for life.  I've loved a lot of people but they would have made lousy husbands.  Didn't mean to sound like your input wasn't valuable-------  everyone has their own perspective to bring.  
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662085 tn?1331345560
hahaha well just the fact your marride gives you more experience. When i give a response i go off what i know and heard this is what i know, and nothing more.

Like i said i have no lover so perhaps that shows my idea is flawed but none the less its still my view and should respected as such. I didnt read your comment first and i wasnt trying to respond to yours. I'm not sure how old you are but perhpaps your view here is. I dont see nothing wrong with believing the way i do.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm guessing I am a lot older and more practical than you Cloud.  I looked at finding a mate as they had to meet certain criteria first and then I had to see if I loved them.  I was a little business like when it came to finding a husband to be honest.  I found that if I didn't have someone with the same ideas about their future, their desires and faith------- that I'd be wasting my time.  No matter how much I loved them------- they wouldn't be right for me.  We'd end up fighting over the things in life that mattered.  So I looked for someone that I agreed with them on the "things that mattered" and then chose amongst that group.  Sound less romantic?  Well, after 10 years of marriage---------- I'm still in love and happy with him and he me.  Maybe we have time to focus on caring for one another because we aren't fighting about other things we compromised on.  I don't know.   Anyway, it worked for me.  good luck to all.
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662085 tn?1331345560
There is no "special one" people love and love again. Its all emotions. Theres no mister right or perfect person. I dont understand what you mean by when they do it? If your doing lost of wrongs and then you end it because they do something wrong then it would seem to me you are at fault. Wrong someone else enough and they will wrong you. Sadly your story is to simple and i could give you the poor answer which is everything will be just fine you'll find mister right. But to often i see people are blind. They limit the playing field over stupid things. Love is love. Do you know why they say you find true love when your not looking its because you let other relationships grow and then soimetimes one of those turns out to be the right person.

dating and courtship is all too complex for any single deffinition. But just look around you and see who seems to be clinging to you a friend perhaps they truly wanted to be more. I dont know this but i hear you need a wait time between people or your just trying to replace the last person not really find why you love this one.

Look for love (i dont mean sex) but love. People who love you will be by your side though many things.

Sorry i dont have great words of wisdom i have no lover and am alone so i guess im not really one to talk. But i know how i feel in love and how i didnt notice how someone so very close to me was in love with me. We are blinded by our own feeling to see it but its there. Look for people to call your friend and then you will find love though them.

Love and furry stuff i hope things turn for the better for you and you do find someone you love for everyone deserves love.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, if you see this about yourself--------- it is never too late to stop the cycle.  What about seeing a therapist?  I do think those that jump from relationship to relationship never take the time to sort out who the right kind of guy would be . . . hence, you are really not searching for the perfect guy but just searching.  So . . . I'd recommend a total break from dating for a while and some therapy to sort out where you want to take your romantic life.  
good luck
Helpful - 0
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