Aa
A
A
Close
Avatar universal
Physical Boundaries between Father and Adult Daughter
My long term boyfriend recently had surgery on his leg, groin and abdomen. When he was in hospital his 28yr old daughter visited him and they discussed that when he went home that she could change his dressing. I do not know whose idea this was, he did not tell me this part.  The nurse showed the daughter how to change the dressing and he didnt have any underwear on as it would make it more difficult to change dressing.  As far as I know they were not the type of family that walked around in the nude. There is a home nurse service that would have done this. I am not sure if she actually did change his dressing.  My gut feeling is that I think this is inappropriate for a adult daughter to be touching her father's groin area even if its for medical reasons, she does not live with him and has a partner and its the home nurses job. I do not think anything sexual would have happened but it still makes me feel very uncomfortable.  Am I being over-sensitive?
Cancel
1 Answers
Page 1 of 1
3060903 tn?1398568723
I'm wondering if you asked f you could learn how to change your boyfriends dressing. You haven't mentioned any pertinent details.. like how many times the dressing needed changing, what other needs his may have while recuperating. Is he using the restroom himself.  How long the nurse will be with him daily and what his needs will be when the nurse is not there. Are you living with your boyfriend.or do you see him every night? Because if you were i would assume that you wouldn't necessarily need the daughter to help out with his dressings and i'm sure they both would feel more comfortable having you do this work rather than the daughter. IF that's possible. If it's not possible, i think i would let him deal with his problems with the help of his family as they see fit. .

My 50 year old male next door neighbour looked after changing his 91 year old mother's diapers for about 10 years. and was her only caregiver. Families do what they have to, perhaps to keep a parent out of a retirement or long term care facility to let their loved one live and die in their own home. Necessity is the mother of invention. . There was a nurse that came in, but certainly the nurse did not stay all day by any means and certainly did not look after all her daily needs. I always admire hearing stories of families that stick together in a crisis., and i'm not sure that what your bf's daughter is doing is any more or less than the above example... just being prepared like a good girl scout.

I know one thing, When my mother was in her last 5 years, and living with me, I regret that I didn't do more for her when i had the chance. I wish i could have told her that i'd always be there to look after her every need.and mean it.  I wish i had another chance to make it right. I wish i had of been mature enough to be able to be a personal support worker and help her with bathing diapers or whatever she needed me to do without making her feel uncomfortable because she's my mom and you only get one. I think kids need to give back to their parent's when the tables are turned and the parent's need nurturing from their kids. So as for your bf and his girl, unless you're there 24/7 to look after his every need, i think you should refrain from possibly jinxing what's happening and making those two feel any more uncomfortable than it already is for them. Maybe this is the exact right time and way for this girl to give back to her dad.I wouldn't get in the way of that, unless i was 100% able to take over the job completely because i feel that any man and daughter would not choose to see each others genitalia unless absolutely necessary.  Please remember, necessity is the motherhood of invention.  Thanks for your post.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Your Answer
Avatar universal
Answer
Do you know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Answer
Post Answer
A
A
Relationships Community Resources
Top Relationships Answerers
973741 tn?1342346373
Blank
13167 tn?1327197724
Blank
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398568723
Blank
Other