Couples living together

[Life360_Dave]

What do you think is the main reason why couples decide to live together instead of getting married first. I realize that the list includes many reasons but is there one that stands out over the others to you.

[wyrpamatz]

My now husband and I moved in together bc we were tired of being far apart we thought it would've been better. Mind you we were already engaged. Six months after living together we got married. I think we made a good decision bc we saw how we both were and maybe we were testing the water to see if we were really meant for each other.

[ladybug2468]

My partner said marriage isn't important as well as we are both benefiting from living together.

[doubledeedee]

I'm not sure why exactly.  I am engaged now (yay me) ! Bur honestly the critcism and questions and judgment is starting to get to me. I got engaged in june and plan on getting married in April , but people say we are rushing and I do wonder with the way things are nowadays would it be easier if we lived together?  So maybe that's why they do.

[swabes]

I can only speak from my personal experience. My only serious relationship is with my current partner of nearly 3 years.

We got engaged 7 months into the relationship and i constantly got asked why on earth so soon and when the wedding will be ect. To me being engaged, the actual wedding itself was the last thing on my mind. To me it was about me being ready to make a commitment to someone, to show my faith in our relationship and show my love. I had no idea then that our relationship could ever suffer the way it is now. Problems arise, personal problems, financial problems and personality clashes.

At the beginning I wanted to move in with S straight away. I was absolutely blind with love. I was climbing out my bedroom window at night to stay in his. Every threat and punishment was thrown my way and still i couldn't stop. For the sex? No. Just to be able to share the same bed together and be close to one another, comfort one another.

I think couples get crazy about one another and rush into things like moving in together but after a while reality does set in. We have yet to move in together and i am actually greatful for the options i have. I can stay at his house any night of the week or weekend, or I can stay at my mums or grans.
Financially living together was never an option and the time we have had to develop has changed us. I am a lot more sensible and responsible, him not so much lol. Im no longer love blind. I'm serious about taking the right steps to maling our relationship last. If I had of moved in so early on in the relationship i would have never left bed and lived of pot noodles in a rose tinted love haze and when reality struck in I could have felt very trapped - sake thing with marriage. I would much rather be living in the same house for however many years getting to see if my partner and I were compatible before being married. It's a real eye opener when you see your parted faves with bills, cleaning, rent, shopping and other living expenses. You get to see if they can step up to the mark and see if they are as commuted as you are.
To an extent I guess its testing the water. I may get married 5 years down the line, or never ; but that doesn't change anything about my relationship. It's just my view on marriage. I don't feel it is all that necesarry in this day and age. If you are traditional then go for it. But getting engaged was more symbolic for me than anything.

It's an awesome question and one I've often thought about. I don't think my relationship would have lasted this long if is rushed into moving or getting married.

[specialmom]

I think it is a great question personally.  I think it is interesting.  In the US, we also have common law marriage with laws that surround that.  I don't really get living like one is married yet not taking that step.  It is an interesting discussion for why some choose to do so.  

I think it would be odd that some have a harder time once they are married and then they blame the 'getting married' part for that.  Those same couples were highly likely to break up any way due to what happened in their relationship verses taking the step of marriage.  

I personally feel couples in general need to spend more serious contemplation time before entering into a living situation with anyone.  Married or not.  But being married to me means that someone really stood up and made a conscious decision to tie themselves to another verses living together.  I'd not be with a man that didn't want to do that for me.  

These are all just opinions on the subject and I think it is interesting to discuss.  No right or wrong answer.  

[NOHARD]

Hi 360, You must remember there are lots of couples how go many years without getting married, there quite happy with there lot, in the UK the can buy houses, take out insurance on one and other, living just like any married couple would do, but without popping the question.
The real problem for a lot of them is, if they do marry, not long it goes down the drain, and ends.
Its not a real good question to ask, could stir some bad memoires for some couples who were happy before going all the way,
Sometimes best left alone.
Good Luck

[specialmom]

Hi there life.  I like your poll.   I've noticed that people often just don't take the step into marriage for a variety of reasons with the main one being they don't think it is necessary,.  Some also don't think it is necessary before getting pregnant either as boyfriend and girlfriends 'try' to conceive.  That really worries me.  I  believe in vows and commitment and sometimes it is the vows that makes you A. take things seriously when deciding to be with someone and B. makes you work harder to improve things rather than just leaving the relationship.  Live in couples often drift in and out much more rapidly---  not as much thought on the front end or back end.  Then again, that ability to come and go may be what is actually appealing to some???