Please read.. I need an opinion

[veggielover]

I hate the town I live in and how everyone knows everyone. Stupid things I've done when intoxicated just keep on following me. I made out with this guy at a party a while back and no one knows about it besides a few of the people that were there. We were both really drunk and we were obviously attracted to each other so one thing led to another and we were lip-locking in the bathroom for some time. So, that was just some random thing that happened one weekend when we were both on a weekend trip to San Francisco with our friends. After that, we never really talked again. But the thing is, we have so many mutual friends and I see him all the time at parties and what not. Now, it turns out that him and my current boyfriend are most likely going to get a place together! Ugh, my boyfriend doesn't know about this drunken incident and I don't know if it's even relevant for me to tell him or not. Honestly, I've seen the guy I kissed at that party at least 5 times since it happened, but I always completely avoid making eye contact or talking to him at all whenever we are in the same place. Now though, my stupid drunk moment is following me and I'm going to have to talk to him and become even friendly with him since he and my boyfriend are going to be roommates. I'm most likely just going to be casual and not say anything or bring it up to him. I guess if he says something I will talk to him about it, but for now I'll just pretend it never happened. What would you guys do in my situation?

[veggielover]

Thanks everyone for the responses

[specialmom]

Yes I agree that if it happened before than that is just the way it is.  A little awkward but not criminal in any way.  good luck to you

[EveKendall]

You couldn't pay me enough to live in these small towns. What an inbred group of people. This is why so many folks in  large cities are from these hellholes - everybody is up in your business all the time.  I've seen form postings where people were afraid to go to the doctor in their town because the medical staff would "blab" about their problems and conditions.  

Move if you can. Large cities are great! You get the ballet, symphony, theater, fantastic restaurants, and you generally won't need wheels. Rents are usually astronomical but it's worth it. Good luck.

[Judy246]

I agree with teko, that if it happened before you met the b/f...then just move on.

[teko]

I think if it happened before you met your boyfriend, you owe neither nothing. Take care with that drinking.

[mami1323]

We live and we learn.  It wasn't right by either of you but now you know better.  It's a small world.  You need to make better decisions in your life.  I would speak to Kenny first and see what he thinks.

[veggielover]

Yeah, totally right. Well, in situations like this I tend to really over-think it before I even know if it's worse than it is. He was probably more drunk than I was, and there might be a chance that he doesn't even remember, but I don't know for sure. I know he doesn't want anyone to know either, since he actually was with his girlfriend when we had that drunken kiss. I think all of this is coming out of a sense of guilt, like I feel like I should apologize or something. And since he's still with the same girl, I feel guilty knowing he cheated on her with me and we might be hanging around each other a lot! ahh :(. And, you know what the worst part is? He told me he had a girlfriend before we kissed, but I didn't even care. I just let it happen. I wouldn't let that happen again after knowing what a sticky situation that would create. It was definitely a one time thing.

[mami1323]

Do you think his roommate even remembers?  I mean maybe you are making it out to be more than what it was.  You didn't have sex, you kissed in a drunken moment.  

[veggielover]

To imanaddict: Yeah, this happened before I even met my current boyfriend. The thing is he just moved into this town and made friends with a lot of the people in the same circle of friends that I have....so that's why it's a bit awkward knowing that he's going to be roommates with someone I hooked up with before. I expected to never really have to talk to the guy again, which I haven't since we hooked up, so I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with this situation since I'm probably going to have to see him and interact with him a lot more.

To everyone else:
Well, would you guys say it's more important to talk to my boyfriend first, or the other guy? Or does it even matter who I talk to first? I see my boyfriend practically everyday and I don't know the next time I'm going to see his soon-to-be roommate. I'm pretty sure....lets just give him a name...Kenny has put most of this behind him anyway. He has a girlfriend as well, so I don't know what I'm worrying about. I guess I'm just worried about the fact that we haven't said a word to each other at the parties we've run into each other at, since we hooked up. And now I have to be able to talk to him nonchalantly as if nothing ever happened. So, would it be easier to just not say anything.......or have a little talk with the both of them? It sounds like you guys are saying that I should talk to them.

[teko]

I was going to say the very same thing, but imanaddict said it first. lol

[imanaddict]

Were you and your boyfriend together when this happened or was it before him? If it was before him, then it's not a big deal. If it was when  you were with him, then you may want to tell him before someone else does.

[mami1323]

I would be honest with him since I think there is a good chance that this will come out at some point.  You wouldn't want him finding out from someone else and then he will wonder why you didn't tell him yourself.  It kind of makes it even bigger than it actually was if that was the case.  Explain to him that this happened before you and him were together and that it was a one time thing.  You don't talk to this guy and it was just a dumb move and you had expected never to have to even bring it up but you didn't want him to go into this situation without knowing the truth.  And you didn't think it was appropriate for him to find out from someone other than yourself.  Hopefully your boyfriend is mature enough to handle the news and not make it a big deal.  Good luck.

[Judy246]

The reality is that it DID happen and you are paying the price for reckless irresponsible behavior. Live and learn from your mistake and it's not the town that you live in, it your bad behavior so don't blame the town. I would pull him over and have a talk with him and clear the air, because if he is going to be roomates with you new b/f, it's just a matter of time that all this baggage is going to spill in from of the new guy. Have a talk with him and tell him that you are sorry for what has happened and would appreciate if this would stay behind you both and move on. Tell him your relationship with him from this point on will be amicable, but you would appreciate if he no longer bring up the regreful incident and least have no conversation regarding you to anyone least your new b/f, because this man can now make you life miserable if he wanted to.

Live and learn and start behaving in a responsible manner, because the only person it will effect and come back to is you. good luckl...Judy