Relationship help please

[TheSurgeon7710]

Ok, I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year. She is also my first girlfriend. We are still very young, I am 19 and she is 18. In the beginning we were great, always hanging out with friends, always laughing and having fun, no fighting and so on. Eventually, she broke up with me and we ended up getting back together about a month later. Even then, we were going strong, having fun and just being what I thought was normal. For my schooling, I must move to Amarillo to keep my job to pay for school and other payments. She does not want to move there but I cannot compromise with her. She says she loves me and always tells me. She says she will move there because she does not want to be without me. So I believe her and everything is ok. Well, everytime she goes to her hometown which is about six hours away from me, she barely talks to me. She claims she hates texting, but in my mind, I think I am important enough to get over and talk to. I am sick from how much I miss her and just want to see her and talk with her. But, to me, it seems like she can go the entire time without a word from me. She will just stop texting me or tell me she can't text me because she is with her friends. I just do not understand. And I always text her good morning or something sweet each morning. She will completely bypass my message and just wait forever to get back to me. Then, I called her to talk to her because I missed her, she tells me that she is about to take a nap. This is weird to me because she told me goodnight at midnight last night and did not wake until about 11 or so (guessing from when she messaged me). And it had been about 3 hours later and she doesn't say hi or anything to talk, she just asks for my netflix password. I give it to her and nothing. I am being torn from the inside with all these feelings from her not caring or showing that she cares at all. What should I do? Am I asking to much just to talk to her? She makes me feel like it is a chore to talk to me or I am a burden to her while she is gone. I hate the thought of not talking to her when she messages me just because I have hopes of having a decent conversation with her, and I am constantly let down by waiting an hour or more for a reply. If I am thinking to much into this tell me, I just do not know what to think about it.

[Londres70]

Not to be rude, but you sound "clingy" and she probably isn't liking that.  It's not like she is ignoring you completely when you are gone.

May I ask why she broke up with you the first time?  Are you living together now?

"She claims she hates texting, but in my mind, I think I am important enough to get over and talk to"................Well, she told you she didn't like to text and you should keep that in mind and not force her to change.

"Am I asking to much just to talk to her?"........No, you aren't, but it sounds like you aren't allowing her to have time to spend with others in peace (without the texting, etc.)

Give her some space.  

[specialmom]

My husband doesn't text with me ever and to be honest, he's really busy and I don't bother him at work unless I really need something.  I never call just to say hi out of respect for his need to do his work.  When he is free . . .  he's all mine.  

I am not a lover of texting unless it is a quick thing I want to say such as "I'm running late, be there in a few minutes."  So, everyone is different.

Anyway, perhaps she is super busy.  Perhaps she isn't quite as in to you as you are in to her.  /That happens.  

My honest suggestion?  Throw yourself into school/work.  This is the time in which you are setting up your future.  Girlfriends come and go.  Don't fall into the trap of being in love with love and putting that above all else.  Take seriously that this time in your life is about YOU and setting yourself up for future financial independence.  

good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I talk on the phone several times a day with my husband and occasionally send an email if he can't be reached, but we don't ever text; it lacks a lot of humanity compared to talking.  Or, maybe she is losing interest and you're seeing that.  It would be good if she would be honest with you if that is what is happening, but if so probably your loneliness is making her feel like she cannot be plainspoken about it.  If you really can stand to know, just ask her to be straight with you.

[thatquietgirl]

How often is she gone and for how long?

These are important factors in this situation.  She should be able to have a couple days with minimal contact to spend time with family and friends, for instance.  You should not have to stay in contact every moment of every day and to request that could come across as clingy.  But if you were to tell me she's gone for weeks at a time and not really contacting you, then maybe I'd feel there were problems, you know?

Is she like this if you call rather than text?  Because some people just don't like texting. Some people aren't able to interpret emotion and the manner something is being said from text and therefore hate texting for that.  Others just don't like having to type with their thumbs.  Some people don't have texting or have limited texts on their plans.  Regardless of the reason, a phone call a few minutes before bed should be a decent compromise.