Relationship problems..

[KaitlynSmead]

Lately me and my husband have been growing more and more apart. I spend more time crying because of something he said or did then i care to admit. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and we just had our baby shower. After the shower we were putting up our son's things when he starts going on about leaving for the army right after our son is born. This was news to me and he simply put it that he wished he had gone into the army before we got married or had got pregnant. This upset me, seeing how it made me feel like he regrets me and our son, and he didn't seem to care in the slightest. Also being intimate with him has been unenjoyable lately and i think he's mad at our son because i dont like to have sex anymore. Then there's the fact that he has started toto work overtime every day and on his days off he goes off with friends or to his grandfathers instead of us having couple time. We used to be really close but the last couple weeks it feels like im the only one trying to keep our marriage working. I really don't know what to do at this point.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think he was telling you the truth, that he regrets his sudden boost into the world of being a grown-up and having obligations, but that does not mean he doesn't love you.  He is probably just scared or resentful to have to grow up, to a world that looks like guilt, responsibility and worrry.  I don't know if your marriage will survive him feeling that way (it doesn't sound like he's trying very much to pull up his pants and be an adult), but if it helps, women sometimes get that way too, and also have to figure out how to accommodate their fears of loss of freedom and fun.  The mistake he made is telling you how he feels in such a rude fashion.  If he had said, "Honey, the baby coming makes me feel vulnerable and like I have to put away all the fun of my younger life and just be a boring adult who never gets to go out or do what he wants," you would have been able to commiserate and maybe problem-solve so when the baby comes you two can still have nights out, and so on.  But instead he just stuffed it and acted mad, and is now making plans to run away.  I see red flags all over the fact that he didn't even tell you.

All you can do is sympathetically ask him if he wants to run away, and see if there are plans the two of you can make where he gets every other Saturday to see his buddies or the two of you go out every other Saturday night, or other things that he thinks he is going to miss.  If he won't even go that far with you, go to counseling, together if possible or if not, alone.

[glutonforpunishment]

I am sorry you are feeling like this. Congrats on the baby. I can not speak for
your husband but maybe he is scared or feeling overwhelmed. IDK?  Just thinking that it may be a reason for his behavior. Unfortunately , most men take longer to mature then woman and for the most part in their mind the world revolves around them. Not so much selfishness but being self centered. A lot of times they do not even realize it. Have you told him how you feel?