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Religion problems with my husband
When I meet my husband 3 years ago he told me he doesn't believe God or anything, and he have no religion so after we date one year he ask me to marry him and I told him if he doesn't convert to my Religion I'm not going to marry him because I want to practice my religion ,then he said okay ' I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with u and I will do anything ' then he convert before we got married I don't tell anyone he is revent my family and I are very religious so I try to tech him more and I told him read and practice more but he said 'I'm not religious person!' he don't pray or thank god or anything I'm so depress cuz we have a 10 months baby girl I don't want her to look up to him and i'm afraid that she will be confused :-(and religion is very important to me he know that but it seems like he will never change and I don't know what to do:-(any advice please
Zeejaz,
being your husband not too long ago returned from a military mission I would really try to pick your battles with him carefully and not make/create issues where there are none.
being your husband not too long ago returned from a military mission I would really try to pick your battles with him carefully and not make/create issues where there are none.
I agree with everyone completely. Accept him for who he is, like he has with you.
Is he a good husband and father? Does he love you and your child? Care for you both? Provide for you? Focus on all of the wonderful things that you fell in love with him for, not the one thing where you two have different belief systems.
Plenty of couples do just fine with different ideas about religion and faith. It's when one starts to pressure the other that things go bad.
It may take YOU some time to accept this and be okay with it, but I think once you do, you'll BOTH be happier. He won't feel pressured, and you won't feel so stressed about something that you honestly cannot control.
Also, I think it's admirable that he hasn't just tried to play the game and pretend that he's practicing your faith. He's been VERY honest about it. You know where he stands.
Good luck to you!
Is he a good husband and father? Does he love you and your child? Care for you both? Provide for you? Focus on all of the wonderful things that you fell in love with him for, not the one thing where you two have different belief systems.
Plenty of couples do just fine with different ideas about religion and faith. It's when one starts to pressure the other that things go bad.
It may take YOU some time to accept this and be okay with it, but I think once you do, you'll BOTH be happier. He won't feel pressured, and you won't feel so stressed about something that you honestly cannot control.
Also, I think it's admirable that he hasn't just tried to play the game and pretend that he's practicing your faith. He's been VERY honest about it. You know where he stands.
Good luck to you!
Thank you so much for all your advice it means a lot to me !!you guys r right I guess I should accept him the way he is and pray to God !
Ditto Chima.
My husband is agnostic and I am spiritual and we married each other FULLY aware of this and never tried to convert each other or change the other's view.
I believe you marry someone NOT to change him/her into something he/she isn't but fully accepting who he/she is.
He is allowing you to be religious, so allow him to be who he is.
If you wanted a christian man you should of married one; not find someone to convert to be a christian.
This is about acceptance.
My husband is agnostic and I am spiritual and we married each other FULLY aware of this and never tried to convert each other or change the other's view.
I believe you marry someone NOT to change him/her into something he/she isn't but fully accepting who he/she is.
He is allowing you to be religious, so allow him to be who he is.
If you wanted a christian man you should of married one; not find someone to convert to be a christian.
This is about acceptance.
You can't force someone to have faith. They either have it, or they don't. It's not something that can be forced upon someone, because they have to feel it themselves for it to mean something. You're never going to be able to change him, so you need to stop trying to force this issue. He never lied to you about what he thought, you just assumed (wrongly) that he would come around eventually. Faith doesn't work that way. Unless someone has an epiphany at some point in their life that makes them believe, they will never change their mind. And again, it's a personal thing that each individual has to experience for themselves.
You're going to have to accept the fact that your husband is not a religious person, he will never feel the same way that you do about your religion, and that's how it is. The best thing you can do for yourself is just continue practicing your faith for yourself and if you want your daughter to be raised to believe, then teach her what she needs to know on your own. If she ever asks why her dad doesn't participate, I don't know what you can tell her but I'm sure you're not the only religious person who married and atheist and finds themselves in this position. This world is full of married couples in this situation. I'm not sure what they have done to manage it but I'm sure they figured it out somehow. You are going to have to accept that this is how it is and there isn't anything you can do to force him, keeping in mind that forcing him does not equal true faith anyways.
You're going to have to accept the fact that your husband is not a religious person, he will never feel the same way that you do about your religion, and that's how it is. The best thing you can do for yourself is just continue practicing your faith for yourself and if you want your daughter to be raised to believe, then teach her what she needs to know on your own. If she ever asks why her dad doesn't participate, I don't know what you can tell her but I'm sure you're not the only religious person who married and atheist and finds themselves in this position. This world is full of married couples in this situation. I'm not sure what they have done to manage it but I'm sure they figured it out somehow. You are going to have to accept that this is how it is and there isn't anything you can do to force him, keeping in mind that forcing him does not equal true faith anyways.
Hi also, he did convert for you as promised. But belief in a God does not come from reading but by inspiration and desire. It appears he desires only you at this point. Its not a matter of time.
Hey thank you for your comment and you totally right about me choiceing to be with someone don't have no religion but when I meet him I didn't think all of that I was just having fun and I wasn't even ready to married but everything happesed so fast and I try not to think about it but religion is very important to me but to him is like Notting he just work everyday and just enjoying life but I want him to belive in God it's becomes I love him I want him to be with me here and hereafter but I'm just so depressed thinking about our future I really want be with him forever but this religion issue is bothering me alots and I don't know what to do I really don't know ! thinking about that maybe I more time ?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Sorry you are having this conflict. To be truthful, this is not uncommon if someone just converts for another person. He was converting but not accepting your religion into his heart. I think it is admirable that he tries but perhaps you are expecting too much of him. You picked a man of no religion who did what he had to do to marry you. I don't know if your expectations were that he'd have the depth of belief you do but you chose to be with someone that doesn't have the same commitment to you. He never did. He did what was necessary to marry you. He's allowing you to raise your child in your faith. He's trying to be a part of your faith and you are wanting him to feel it at the same level you do. The issue to me is that you chose a man that wasn't religious and tried to make him what you wanted him to be. And he's tried.
Would you break your family up over this?
Would you break your family up over this?
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