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1324400 tn?1274736598

Self Pleasure

My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years.  We have a great relationship but within the last year or so the frequency of having sex has decreased.  This is due to numerous reasons, we work opposite schedules, I have insomnia and have been taking anxiety medication that reduces my sex drive...etc.  It bothers me that we aren't as intimate as we once were but our relationship has been strong through this time.  I know my boyfriend watches online porn and it does not bother me in the least, I actually think it's very healthy to do this but my problem is that while he's watching online porn he often pleasures himself - - while I'm sleeping in the next room.  I would not have a problem with this if he did this when I was not in the house...I do have a problem with him doing this when I'm in the next room.  I feel it is very disrespectful and insensitive to my feelings and needs.  Rather than spend time with me and being intimate with me he is leaving our bed at early hours of the morning to watch online porn and pleasure himself.  When I've walked into the room while he's doing this he tried to act like nothing is going on and changes the website he's viewing.  He does not feel that I should be upset about this...but if that's the case they why is he sneaking around and trying to hide it from me? I just don't know if I can live knowing that whenever I'm sleeping he's in the other room rubbing one out on the couch.  Am I being unfair and sensitive??
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303824 tn?1294871401
Did you tell him to wash his hands before he made you breakfast?? LOL! Sorry, I couldn't resist...

I used to have a boyfriend that did this to me as well. His excuse was that "every guy just needs to rub one out once in a while." I was like seriously?? I can relate on how it would hurt your feelings because it used to hurt mine as well. I finally had to learn to just not take it personal because that is what he did, no matter what I said and how hard I would try to change it.

the best advice I can give is the next time you catch him doing it, seduce him and try to get his attention focused back on you. If things are getting dull in the bedroom, try to find ways to spice things up. Also communicate with him that this is hurting your feelings (if you haven't already).
Helpful - 0
1324400 tn?1274736598
I just don't understand why this is ok with them.  I'm in the next room willing and able to have sex and he made the choice to watch porn and pleasure himself. I'm just disgusted...

And after I caught him he asked me if I wanted some breakfast...are you kidding me?!?!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel your pain...  I have my reasons to believe that my husband of 8 years is doing the whole rub out thing in the bathroom 1-2x a day.  His excuse to go to the bathroom is to go "poop", but he takes his blackberry phone in there with him and occasionally I will hear his phone play noises like porn.  When you start watching a video on his phone it automatically starts playing the audio.  It bugs me that I get sex once a month and then he's in the bathroom 2x a day rubbing one out.  I feel it's unfair and very insensitive too.  Especially since I'm in the next room willing to have sex.
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