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Avatar universal

Should I keep it?

I met a guy in late Nov. he was a really great guy except he had a girlfriend. He told me that upfront. I would ask him about getting to know me better, he told me he didnt see me that way. I would constanly beg him to come over, he would always tell me no. OK one night he was drunk he came over, we had sex. He told me it was a mistake, and he was wrong for being there. i told him not to worry, that i was on the pill and i wasnt trying to have kids with him. i have two kids already.

I found out i was pregnant. i told him that. he begged me to not have this child. I told him that i liked the way he begged. I also told him that i was with someone new yrs eve and someone after i got with him.  i want to have this kid but he is begging me not too. i told him i would have the abortion, i then changed my mind and now hes freaking out. i always wanted a son. i joked with him and said if he would marry me i would have the abortion, he didnt think that was funny. he was talking about committing suicide and i told him if he did that i would be at his funeral to get his DNA so i could get my money. he never lied to me about his relationship and he didnt dog me out. i told him he didnt use me, and my intentions were to sleep with him to get him to leave his girlfriend. he doesnt call me anymore, and the third guy i was with changed his number.

whenever i do talk to him he sounds so disgusted to talk with me, i guess because he has no choice in the matter, and i told him that based on my past experiences i dont care about mens feelings. he doesnt have any kids either so this would be his first.

what do you guys think?
104 Responses
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Avatar universal
i am a christian. i firmly believe that jesus died for our sins. and i also believe he is our only way into eternal life. i do believe that jesus is our ultimate judge. but i do have a right to my own opinion and beliefs.  i don't believe in unicorns or fairy dust << lol too funny. what is not funny is abortion. it is murder. end of story. how would you like somebody to stab you and you slowly die?? abortion is not an option. adoption is. just some advice to the original poster i have seen that name in the women's health forum as a male and that does throw up a red flag. but the sad truth is this day and age that situation is not that throwed off. i encourage the original poster to look into and learn the word of God and live by it and nobody would even be in this situation.

God Bless
Helpful - 0
145992 tn?1341345074
This is from 2007, it's a very old post and I'm sure that person is no longer around.
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Avatar universal
to the original poster:

first of all ignore all the noise of these posts, when people start bickering with each other and stop helping YOU, you gotta tune out.

but I gotta say.

I'm wracking my brain trying to decide if I am in an okay enough position, financially, relationship-wise, etc. to continue with my pregnancy out of RESPECT for myself and this new life and here you are using pregnancy and this innocent life to manipulate others and to 'not be lonely'.  PLEASE STOP.  You need help now.  Ignore this guy and take care of yourself.  You said yourself you don't even like him or know him that well.

PLEASE, no offense, but you need to stop having children until you learn to love and respect yourself.  Get help.  This is not a judgment. I am just truly concerned. Use contraception.
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212795 tn?1194952574
lol I am new to this forum, and I must say this has to be the most interesting post on here!  Everything and the bible has been thrown into this one!  lol  To the original poster, are you actually the guy and resentful of the chick you impregnated because you feel she is manipulative?  hmmmmm
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154765 tn?1237247944
bip
HERE WE GO AGAIN
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173939 tn?1333217850
Pertykitty, referring to your comment C87 - I know what you mean. When meaningful opinions are presented as "the truth", it always comes across as arrogance, and repetition does not help the cause. There have been schools of thought out there for a long time like objectivism that I very much appreciate with their quest for integrity and a search for truth based on reason but proponents often try to apply the philosophy like jurisdiction. That in itself is just as annoying as any religious group knocking at an atheist`s door, isn`t it?
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177641 tn?1189755837
barnbabe, you aren't the resident socialist/atheist nor do you represent such bodies of thought for all people on this forum. You might be mis-interpreting the upset caused in others as being to WHAT you say rather than HOW you say it.

I agree with peekawho - showing respect (and some level of humility) is the best way to communicate ideas. I really like a lot of the ideas coming out on this forum (including atheist), but bullying others by belittling them is EXTREMELY counterproductive. You're doing your beliefs more disservice by presenting them poorly. I'm pretty sure most of us don't come here to agree/disagree on our personal religious views - just offer advice out of a desire for well-being and community.
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Avatar universal
and barn babe you can only take flak if you cant discuss or debate in an adult manner. surely your law background has taught you that.
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Avatar universal
its not my beliefs that were ridiculed, it was the fact that she goes on tyrants demeaning people and creating havoc herself. i made an athiest comment, no name calling was invoved and i was suddenly an idiot because i didnt agree. go figure. barn babe you desire respect and tolerance, but if you  cant give the same, how do you expect it? i dont think you have ever honestly answered a question without throwing your unicorn or other remarks. the fact that we are all so different is great, we can all go about our lives however we wish, i am saying that it would be nice if such diversity can be shared without insults. as for the original poster, who knows they never came back.
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
Though I agree with you on a few of your views, the way in which you express them by demeaning the beliefs of others is counterproductive.  If you would like people to read your posts thoughtfully and take something meaningful away from them, you may want to tone down some of your vitriolic rants.  

I respect and admire you for the passion of your beliefs.  And though I don't agree with the religious beliefs of many of the forum members, I wouldn't dream of calling them mentally ill.  

No one is asking you to start throwing around "amens" or heaving clouds of babydust at anyone, just remember that as passionately as embrace your beliefs, so do other people.  People are so turned off by the tone of many of your posts, that often a good point you might make is missed completely.

Just tone it down.  More people will read your posts carefully if you do, instead of going immediately into the red zone when their beliefs are ridiculed.

Thanks.  



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Avatar universal
Generally, the resident socialist/atheist takes a lot of flak no matter what forum it's on. ;-)
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177641 tn?1189755837
Look guys,

Even if this person is a troll, should we start proclaiming how judgmental we are? This will only discourage people who are REALLY in crisis from posting. It will only serve to make people in real crisis afraid to post for fear of being called names. If someone is posting a joke, then let's just give them the benefit of the doubt that it's genuine, offer sincere advice, and stop there.

Not long ago there was a poster asking for help about an ex-boyfriend who might be the father of her baby. People were telling her to go on Jerry Springer. If the poster wanted that kind of advice, I'm sure she could have just asked her not-so-good friends. I've known people in her situation, and was very disappointed in the kind of "support" this forum had to offer her.

If we want to debate and express viewpoints, let's create a thread for it (like the abortion thread, which has now been mysteriously removed). But let's NOT turn other people's posts into religious/moral/other debates. This forum is here for them - not for us to vent. It won't matter how *right* you are - no one will listen if you can't show respect.

Just my two cents. And for the record, I enjoy the diversity of advice offered - what better way to anonymously help someone than by offering them a variety of ideas to choose from. It encourages critical thinking :)
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Avatar universal
bip it would be nice, but as long as barn babe is around, which hopefully isnt for long, she will continue to shoot everyone down and degrade them and make herself seem to be the know all and only correct person on here. its best to not get started with her as she will call you names and TRY (fail but try) to make you feel like you are wrong. and if you are bothered by her or offended at any time, you  can contact medhelp and let them know  :)
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154765 tn?1237247944
bip
Can we just try to get along  we supposeed to have support in each other.  Im not saying we aren't just seems like we are still fighting  about this.  I just want everyone to get along. I wish we can just start all over again.
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Avatar universal
oh and if you have to mention religion or politics again to try to prove a nonexisting point, we have all heard it over and over and ..................  maybe its time for a new defense.
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Avatar universal
you just proved my point lol. i never said i was christian, and i never really opened up to you with my opinion, you arent worth my time that way. if you are the one to decide if my opinion counts or not, you are someone with problems not me. you say the same thing over and over about the unicorns, and such. it seems to me you cant discuss or debate, you argue and fight and name call. everyone can see what you really are. you are the mean school girl that will fight and name call, and then eventually when everyone has had enough and backs you into a corner, you will run. you think i am afraid of your comments or i am anything in regards to you, you are mistaken. has medhelp contacted you yet on your behavior? they are usually pretty good about keeping abusive people to a min here. get rid of your anger, not a healthy way to live.
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Avatar universal
Cover your eyes, pertykitty. I know the truth is painful. Easier just to call on the bearded mysogynist for help (and his sidekick, the tooth fairy).

There is a reason Xtianists don't want open debate about controversial issues. And you and I both  know  what that reason is, "pertykitty": your positions don't stand up to the light of day. Anyone over the age of about 6 who still has "imaginary friends" has a mental disorder. Unicorns, tooth fairies, the Wicked Witch of the West, god, Satan, the flying spaghetti monster - you can slap any label you want on the icon of your magical thinking, but the bottom line is that in choosing to deny rational thought, reason-based analysis, and positions grounded in reality, you have no cred whatsoever.

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Avatar universal
i think to hear both sides is great too. however barn babe will not accept that anyone may have a different opinion than herself. her little comments are degrading and she tries to make herself seem the one who knows all and sets the rules. if you dont agree she tells you off and uses religion and politics to try to make posters feel inadequate to her. its childish and ignorant to assume that only her view is the only one, and basically she is like a child with her fingers in her ears yelling la la la la im not listening. kinda funny actually!
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173939 tn?1333217850
Aside from the initial post being just a clever joke and aside from MedHelp  likely not supposed to being a platform for debates, I find it a great enrichment to hear all sides on issues like adoption and abortion and pro-life. An enrichment should not be shot down just because it poses a threat to common politics and opinions. To me it is very re-assuring that logic and sense for reality still exists as in peekawho`s or barn babe`s comments, whether they are offensive to some or not. Personally, I am hesitant towards abortion until it will be better known from what fetal stage on the fetus can actually have the desire to cling on to life - as everyone is referring to - versus being just a blob. But pro-life at any cost and dubious outcome can not remain a political issue. If this thread helped to stir up frozen opinions it can only be a good thing - and I`ll take back the "diaper pail" previously mentioned.
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154765 tn?1237247944
bip
Does this usually happen all the time ? I started posted when this came on.
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Avatar universal
yes bip i am fully aware of the joke that has been played on us. i am referring to the inhumane treatment of the other posters by a particular poster. i would love for this to be dropped, but it will come about again here or another post. im hoping medhelp will step in and remind us that there is no use for behavior of that sorts here.
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154765 tn?1237247944
bip
I think haverymercy please Is  just playing a joke.  Everyone got all upset about it. I think we should just drop it right here it's over with.
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Avatar universal
it would be nice if we could keep the hatred and namecalling in the schoolyard and out of the forums. this used to be a wonderful site, full of helpful people (yes with the occational joker) but it has become full of anger and finger pointing and behaviour that we wouldnt expect from such educated adults. we all have a difference of opinon, maybe we can try to respect that rather than be mean and disrespectful. i see most have tried to abide by this, others just want to yell and scream and cram their beliefs down everyones throat.
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154765 tn?1237247944
bip
I told you  you are very smart I was reading your last post and I agree what you were saying. Keep up the good work.
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