Should I leave him?

[shelly03]

I am 19yrs old and in a relationship with a guy i love very much. We had and argument yesterday which lead him to hit me. He has apologised to me saying it won't happen again. He tried everything to make me comfortable after that.  This is the first time it ever happens and i am worried it will happen again. He says he loves me and made a mistake. Does he really love me??? Should I leave.

[Judy246]

You have just been assulted and have become a "victim" of abuse. I want you to listen to me very carefully, once he lays a hand on you, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN!

I will talk to you as if i were speaking to my daughter, never, never permit anyone to ever physically or emotionally abuse you. Love should not hurt. You must leave this guy. He has either been raised to witness physical abuse and feels this behavior is acceptable. You should have called the police and have him arrested for assult.

Please surround yourself with your family and friends and tell him what he did is not only unexceptable, but criminal and he is lucky that you don't press charges against him. This is not love and it might be the most difficult decision you will ever make, but if you stay with him then you are a fool. First time, shame on him, second time, shame on you. Leave him immediately and tell him if he comes anywhere near you, your house or family, you will have a restraining order against him. Please let us know how you are coming along, and tell him, this is unexceptable and crimal and you never want to see him again. Judy

[teko]

Hitting is not a mistake. It is a tool used by someone to control another persons behavior and is meant to hurt when it is orchestrated,  and it is very damaging to your self image. If he did it one time in anger, I guarantee he will do it again when he gets mad and next time it will be worse and the time after that even worse.  If you stay and have children at some point, it will start with them also. If you do not take a stand right now on how you will or will not be treated, you have lost your self and given it over to him. Never should any person, male or female allow that for one nano second. Leave and find someone worthy.

[Lisi251]

I think you should leave Shelly.Take it from me I had the very same experiance & it never stopped until I left him 10 years later.After this happens if you stay little by little you lose your self esteem & then yourself.I know its hard to leave but its so much harder to stay & go through abuse.i wasted some of the best years of my life & the sad part is we cant get those back.....

[iam1butterfly]

"... a mistake." The fact that hitting someone is explained away as having "made a mistake" minimizes the seriousness of the incident. It's up to you if you want to stay with him. Just realize that such mistakes have a way of turning into to a pattern of abuse.

[jo929]

You are 19 and you know what you want to do, and i will not tell you what to do, as i feel you know the answer to that  or you would not have you posted here, i do believe that no arguing should lead to blows and go with your gut feeling read about the abused and battered women men hit women because they know they can but its different when they come up against a man only a coward strikes a woman  luck  jo

[AHP84]

The next time you get in a heated argument and he strikes you, I'm sure he'll apologize again, do everything he can to make you comfortable and confess his shame and guilt for hitting you again...heck, he'll probably even buy you a huge boquet of roses the next day.

The point is, the chances of him hitting you again are very, very high because he's already done it once. He may have even hit other young women in previous relationships, you just may not know about it. It doesn't matter if he knows it's wrong and acknowledges his mistake, because the fact is he has a problem with keeping self control when he's angry. Developing a healthy self control and anger management don't just happen overnight. So if he doesn't seek help for himself immediately, he WILL hit you again the next time he gets angry.

You should leave now and not give him that next chance. Maybe the wake up call he needs to get help will be by you leaving him.

[VicUser]

There are many women that as they lay severely injured or dyeing after being beat by their boyfriend or husband that say, but I love him. There are so many guys out there that will love you for who you are and will never hit you. I think you should leave him, I live by the one strike rule, be it man or woman that hits. He will do it again sometime.

[specialmom]

Oh,  I'm sorry that happened.  It must have been very scary.  

Yes, you should leave and here is why.  Most boys grow up with the motto "we don't hit girls".  Your boyfriend hits when mad.  No matter what he tells you, he will do it again. I'm sorry.  But that is my opinion.

It is hard to leave someone, I know.  But you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you and I want you to have a happy and bright future.  You deserve it.  Good luck.