Someone out here has to know how to help!

[Love3605]

I have been anticipating this pregnancy with my boyfriend but recently when i turned 9 weeks we split up. It's so hard for me because I figured that if i loose everything else at least I'll have him and the baby. But thats all done with. So now i feel alone, confused, upset, betrayed, furious, etc. I just don't think It's the best thing for me to be with him but its hard now because there is a child involved. What do i do?

[Love3605]

Thank you to everyone for your support and input. Adoption is out of the question for me because I love this little tiger already and I know that I can make things meet for me and my child. I have a good support system and earlier today was able to get "our" situation straightened out. I decided to not be with the father of my child throughout the pregnancy in order to save the drama. He has agreed to give me my space and time. I am more than capable of handling my baby with or without him. Thank you once again for making me feel alot better than yesterday.

[teko]

I just wanted to add, that there maybe a forum here for unwed moms? You can check and see, if this be the case, or even a group? If not, then why not start one? A place where people in your situation can come and get support, and even possible solutions to the situations you are going thru now as well as in the near future. But I assure you that if you are feeling like you dont want this relationship now, that will not change down the road. Cut your losses and move on but remember this baby has a daddy as well and do not attempt to cut him out of the babies life. Good luck.

[teko]

I will never for the life of me understand why gals get pregnant before both parties are in a lifelong commitment. Altho married people face the same problems, it seems so many single gals just jump in and sacrifice their whole future trying to hang on to a man by getting pregnant. Putting my personal opinion to the side and moving to mama mode now, I would say to you to consider your options. As mentioned there is always adoption, or you can choose to carry the child and make the best of it. Personally, making the best of it would be my choice, but I am not you. You must do what is best for you. It does not appear that the relationship is going to work so you much decide based on your own set of circumstances. There is  a long line of people wanting children who cannot have them. But on the other hand maybe you want to be a mom and if that is the case, pick up your bootstraps and put one foot in front of the other and move forward. It will be hard on you but you can do it. There are lots of single moms out there that make it work everyday. Down the road you will meet the man of your dreams and he will love you and your child and life will be great! So look at it this way instead of feeling hopeless and helpless. Keep close ties with family members as well, for the support you will need in coming months. It will be okay! you will see.

[specialmom]

Oh my goodness.  Sorry.  I'm sure you are feeling sad and alone.  Something that I mention to women in your situation is adoption.  There are many families that would love to raise a baby and it is a wonderful gift to give to a couple.   Raising a child alone and when we are sad and upset is really hard.  I always think adoption is a wonderful option to have to provide a great situation for all involved.  Even you.  

If that is not something you'll consider now----------- then you'll have to make plans for the child and yourself.  How you are going to support yourself and the baby, insurance-------- how you'll pay medical expenses,  food, clothes, etc, where you'll live, who will watch the baby while you work, etc.  All of the practical things that you have to plan for when having a child.  Hopefully you have a good support network in place.  

I will say that when we decide to have a child---------- it should be more when we are ready to handle it rather than saying "if we lose everything at least we have the baby"-----.  I'm big on planning and being financially and emotionally ready to handle the demands of a child and  parenting.  I won't lecture you or anything-------- but having a child is serious and changes our life.  It is wonderful--------- and I'm sure you'll be a good mom.  But there is a lot to consider.  

Wishing you and the baby lots of luck.