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Avatar universal

Sort of curious

I’m female, and I find a small proportion of males sexually attractive. The men I find sexually attractive I would generally want to have sex with, as well as other intimacy-related stuff. All other males I don’t find sexually attractive and thus I don’t want to have sex with them, even finding the thought somewhat repelling. This makes perfect sense.

But then there’s the fact that I also find a small proportion of females sexually attractive. While I find their bodies, faces, or poses sexually attractive, the thought of kissing them, having sex with them, or any other such acts is not sexually attractive to me at all.

So what does that mean in regards to my sexuality? I guess that would make me mostly straight, but I’m not exactly sure. Most definitions of bisexuality seem to be based on which sexes you’ve had sex with, and I haven’t had very much sex at all due to how small the proportion of people I’m attracted to is. Even if I had the opportunity to have sex with a woman I found sexually attractive I wouldn’t, because the thought of performing sexually charged acts with a woman is unappealing. Equivocally, I wouldn’t have sex with a guy I wasn’t sexually attracted to because that would repulse me. But I’d probably masturbate to a picture of a woman I’m sexually attracted to, while I wouldn’t to the unattractive guy. Am I the only person in this boat?
3 Responses
233772 tn?1297353383
No I think your perfectly normal. It does not make you bisexual nor does it make you abnormal. I think women are more attracted to the person than to physical appearance. I used to always say that a person can be beautiful on the outside but they can become very unattractive as their personality shows through. I think you are putting too much emphisis on trying to figure out why you are only attractive to very few men. The problem is that you are trying to hard to be attracted to them in the first place. A person may not be immediately attractive to you until you get to know them. Most people who fall in love don't always have an immediate attraction. Ever been in a relationship where the person was so attractive in the beginning that as the relationship sours you start to reconginze all the flaws? Well it can happen the other way around as well. Someone you may not have found attractive can become more attractive as their personality shines through. As for finding women attractive it usually stems from the seeing ourselves through them. Almost the perfection that they exhibit. It makes us women see ourselves as sexual beings. I also would not have sex with a woman but find the body of another woman sexual attractive but am not at all bisexual. I also have never really been sexually charges by looking at a man. If I see pictures of men and women in sexual poses than yes. Womens brains are so different than men and it confuses us. So you are not the only one in the boat. Its just that we think that we are suppose to be men and be visual and women are not visual, we are more mental beings. It all comes down to what we hear and feel. Hope that helps.
Avatar universal
i think cosmogals comments sounded good to me i.  luck  jo
177641 tn?1189755837
Cosmogal has said it best. I'd like to add that there is no one norm for how often you feel attracted to someone new. You may feel that attraction to someone new once a month or once a year - that's just the way it goes, especially as you have no control over who happens to be in your social environment. For example, in high school you might feel you're rarely attracted to men. Then you move to a bigger town or go to university and whammo! Suddenly you're meeting attractive men left, right, and center. Sometimes if you're not meeting great guys that click for you, there's a good chance they're just not there. It sounds like you've got good instincts so keep listening to them.

I'd also like to add that women ARE pretty -  it's hard *not* to notice a girl who genuinely looks terrific. We seem to generally put more effect into our appearances, and it pays off. I think we're also competitive and *tend* to check each other out so that we're aware of the competition. It becomes a habit. I don't think you should feel concerned about masturbating to images of women - women ARE beautiful, sensual, sexual, etc. And often, they're the more attractive to look at anyway. I don't think that makes you bisexual. If it's any consolation, I feel quite similar as you. I'll masturbate to thoughts of women in a sexual context, but I have no desire to actually be with a woman - the thought of actually doing it turns me off. Men are what work for me. I hope this helps :)
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