Still ruminating on my ex Bpd girlfriend

[Brag251]

I am having a hard time letting go of my ex who has Bpd. I was ina relationship for almost two years and I cannot even count all the times she broke up with me and then got back together. I felt like I could do nothing right to please her and she was still working with her ex bf who was a doctor and I think she was still not over him. She wanted me to buy her coach purses and all kinds of gifts and I just could not afford it. She was always talking about her ex sex partners and I would feel like I was always in competition. We had gone to a therapy session in July and the same day she was talking to a guy she had met online. I confronted her about it and she changed her phone number and I was in otal shock. Two week later on Aug 12 th she called me back and said she missed me and loved me and I took her back like a fool. We had gotten along for two weeks and she wanted to go on a road trip so I agreed. We live in the Chicagoland area and we planned a trip to Pittsburgh to see a Stl Cards vs Pirates. All was fine till we got to Pittsburgh she was upset about traffic and I told her to just calm down and she instantly blew a gasket refusing to talk to me and the following day the day of the game she wanted to leave so we did. We got all the way to Ohio then he turned back and said we will go to game as we got back to Pittsburgh she got mad at me gain andafter the game she left me in Pittsburgh I had only my phone and wallet and had to rent a car to get home. The next week she filed. Restraining order which was thrown out thank God but we have. No contact order and I feel like what did I do wrong? I have since then met a nice woman and I am having a baby but I still feel so much doubt and cannot stop thinkingabout her and stressing she is dating a guy andvtreats him really nice an thts what hurts me.

[Brag251]

Will do thank you :-)

[AnnieBrooke]

All I can say is, don't stay hooked on someone who is not reliable in life, get in the here and now and celebrate what you've got (which is freedom from someone who has bipolar disorder).  If it helps, you should also remember that you don't know what goes on in her present relationship(s), you certainly don't know that she 'treats really nice' any guy she dates. It's more logical to assume that she treats everyone she meets just about the same way she treated you.  The reason I said "if it helps" about thinking this, is that you really shouldn't be thinking about her at all, except to say "Thank you, God," that you don't have to be her boyfriend any more.  Buck up and count yourself lucky.

[Brag251]

Yes I have been in therapy and my counselor asked me why did you stay in this so long?  He asked me as a kid did I have a sick friend or is it because I am a firefighter and enjoy helping others?  He said the old saying a leopard does not change its spots and that I should consider myself lucky because if I did end up getting married I would be in for a life of misery and she would take everything I have and not have thought twice about it. Thanks for the advice I appreciate you very much.


Jim

[AnnieBrooke]

It's kind of hard to understand why you put up with any of this, much less why your reaction now is to have hurt feelings and wonder why she apparently treats someone else nicely and didn't treat you nicely, unless she is very like some important female in your life when you were a little boy who had the same pattern (and to whom you also reacted like a sad, wishful puppy).  I'd suggest going in for some counseling.  A person who is not hooked by all the kinds of games she was playing would have just told her goodbye after the first stunt she pulled, and would have been indignant that they were being played.  Why did you let her manipulate you?  That's the question to work on with a counselor.