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459210 tn?1237385203

TRUST ISSUES

HI PICKEL HERE, MY BF AND I HAVE BEEN DATING 71/2 YEARS AND WE DIDN'T ALWAYS SEE EACH OTHER THAT MUCH. BUT NOW WE SEE EACH OTHER 5 DAYS A WEEK . HE IS TOO NICE TO EVERYONE, AND EVEN GIRLS WHO HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES THAT ARE HIS FRIENDS, HE TRYS TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD FEEL BETTER. I COULDN'T TAKE IT, IT GOT TO BE TOO MUCH LEAVING COMMENTS ON MY SPACE, THAT I FELT WERE NOT APPROPRIATE. HE TOOK OFF THE COMMENTS AND NEVER DID IT AGAIN WHEN HE KNEW HOW MUCH IT BUGED ME. EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE OK, BUT WHEN EVER WE HAVE A DISAGREEMENT, HE THROWS IN MY FACE HOW I DUMPED HIM, AND DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR A WEEK AND HOW IT CRUSHED HIM, AND HE CAME CRAWLING BACK... AND IF I EVER DO IT AGAIN HE WON'T EVER COME BACK..... HOW DO I GET HIS TRUST BACK, I MEAN HIS COMMENTS REALLY HURT ME, AND I DID WHAT I FELT WAS RIGHT BY BRING IT TO HIS ATTENTION. BUT HOW LONG AM I GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR THIS, ITS BEEN SINCE EASTER AROUND APRIL?   AM I WRONG??? SINCE HE DIDNT THINK HIS COMMENTS WHERE THAT INAPPROPRIATE, AND HE'S NOT A CHEATER SO HE FELT HE WAS HELPING OUT HIS FRIEND, WHO HE HAS NO SEXUAL INTEREST IN... HE ALSO SAYS I HAVE NO TRUST CUZ WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST EIGHT YRS AND I SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!!!!!  WHY DO MEN FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THEIR FRIENDS MAN OR WOMEN???  HELP
4 Responses
145992 tn?1341348674
I'm a little confused about your question.  You broke up with him for a week when you saw the inappropriate stuff that his friends were saying?  Was he saying inappropriate things back to them?  He's being hurtful towards you and throwing it in your face the fact that you broke up with him once in 7 1/2 years?  Or is he mad that you made him stop talking to his friends?  I'm not really sure what you are getting at here.  I hate myspace.  I think it can be the worst damager (not sure if that's a word) to a relationship.  There is just to much that can happen between "friends" on there.  You obviously get to see his page so it's not like he's hiding anything.  I think it's his job as your man to let these so called "friends" know that they can't speak to him that way.  If they can't respect your relationship then they are not true friends and he should not keep them in his life.  If he's being honest with you and nothing else has come about from this then you should have no reason not to trust him.  Hope I've been somewhat helpful.  It was a little hard to follow.
528396 tn?1217529613
He should know where the line should be drawn without you telling him where to draw the line.  YOUR feelings should come before all others.  He was very wrong in what he did and to blame you for letting him know how you feel is WRONG. If you cannot share your feelings with him then what good is a relationship.  You are supposed to be his best friend.  If the tables were turned how do you think he would react to the comments on myspace like the ones he received?  I don't consider "ouf of the way" comments as trying to help someone.  Never be so blinded that you would never see him cheating or suspect it.  Those are the best kind of men, the ones who say they are helping others when really they are helping themselves TO others.  
He is blaming you for something he created, not you.  You should be able to bring this to his attention and demand that it stop or you will move on without him being a cry baby about it.  You did nothing wrong, he is the one who crossed the line!

Keep your eyes open with this one girl.  I just have a feeling that there is more there to read into then what you really think.  
Avatar universal
I really do not know the answer to this, but i hope you will not be offended, when i say you have been going with him a long time, MY neighbors son was in the army, and had been going with this girl  for a little over 6 years, and she expected to marry he was 32 she was about 30, anyway a few months after he come home for a visit he meets a young woman that has 2 small children, and he said he fell immediatly for her and they were married 6 weeks later, and he left the army after12 years for her, so watch out for long engagements needless to say the other woman was hurt so bad, i really did feel for her I have seen this happen so often, make sure he is the right one before you tie the knot tho    lots luck  jo
484465 tn?1532217632
i dont feel that you were wrong.  it just sounds like he's bitter b/c he did something wrong and resents having to say he was sorry about it.  i call it a simple case of the 'BIGHEAD'

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