Thoughts?

Question

I am ready and want to have a baby. My bf does not. Is it bad that I am considering trying to get pregnant behind his back?

Vance2335 · Answer

Boyfriend and baby...don't mix. Why not get married 1st?

Chima7 · Answer

I think everyone here has already covered the points, all of which are valid. Assuming you're for real and not just trolling in order to get a rise out of everyone, I think you should know better than to try tricking anyone into doing anything they don't want to do. How would YOU feel if someone tricked you with something life changing that would literally turn your entire future upside down? I mean really seriously think about how you would feel if someone did that to you. It's just not right and I question whether you have any integrity if you are seriously considering pulling such a stunt on an unsuspecting guy who does not deserve to be treated like this. Girls who do stuff like this are the reason why boys grow up not trusting girls and then they develop the kind if misogynistic attitudes that breed bad husbands. Don't be a part of that.

getlykemc10 · Answer

Yes it's a bad idea...the last thing you want to do is ruin your relationship or bring a baby in this world that's only wanted by one parent. I had a friend who did that to this guy she seeing. She tried a couple times & when she finally did get pregnant he wanted nothing to do with either of them. To make matters worse she even lost the baby 3 months later. She admitted later that she had learned her lesson from it.

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

OMGolly!  I read that too.  Do You already have a 3 month old?? 
If so,
Your question is SO unfair to present Baby!!, present BoyFriend!!, and even YourSelf!!  It's enough for all parties involved to raise one Baby at a time!!

specialmom · Answer

I read in another post of yours that you have a 3 month old son.  True?

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

This is wrong on EVERY level I can think of. A Baby is a MINIMUM 18 YEAR Responsibility (college, wedding, GrandChildren( etc., etc.,follow the birth of a Child). NO ONE has the right to "force" that Commitment and Responsibilty on another!! In EVERY relationship - the "NO" should "win". If You SO desperately want to begin a Family NOW - then, it is only fair that You find SomeOne who shares this IMMEDIATE desire with You

nursegirl6572 · Answer

Ditto to what SM said.  

Absolutely horrible idea, and not something to even consider!!

Life360_Dave · Answer

Hi and welcome. You mention your ready to have "a" baby but dont mention your ready to have your boyfriends baby. If you do have your boyfriends baby you need to ask him first as he is a human being with desires and plans for his life also. Its not fair to another human being to create your world for him.

specialmom · Answer

Hi there.  Well, yes.  That is actually a terrible idea and very unfair to your boyfriend and any baby that you'd conceive.  Forcing someone into parenthood is not ideal.  

I think that a baby should be considered after a couple has made a firm commitment to one another and have a very solid foundation.  Then when the man and woman are on the same page and conceive a baby knowingly through love is it time to consider a baby with someone.  

Why would you settle for anything less than that?  

Trapping a man through pregnancy is really unforgivable in my mind.  Sure, a man also had sex but if they think protection is used and aren't wanting a pregnancy but are tricked into it, they really have a right to be furious about that.  

Kids aren't accessories.  They are a lot of work and should be considered thoughtfully by both man and woman before conception.  good luck

BabyTurnip · Answer

My sil tried to keep her guy tied up to her by getting pregnant. Didnt turned out that way at all. Getting pregnant only pushed him away faster! Do NOT get pregnant behind his back. He wont change his mind. U r being selfish and ur bf is more mature then u are for actually being a man and telling u he isnt ready. How old are u anyway? 

Point is, if u get pregnant behind his back u are just looking at a life time of trouble. If u both arent on the same page right now maybe its best to end it and find a guy that is on the same page as you right now. A lot of guys dont start thinking about babies and a family before there over 30-35yrs old lol Girls are set for family making at a younger agevthen most guys.

NiaIman · Answer

I agree with all of you ladies! Bad idea..

RoopStetter · Answer

Agreed with Gordon just end things now since its going that way anyways

RoopStetter · Answer

Yea that is all sorts of messed up

GordonBaby · Answer

If I were you, I would just break up with him now. Your going to ruin the relationship anyway with going behind his back when he clearly isn't ready. There are a TON of women who's men did want a baby and then when it came down to it, these men left them hanging with a baby to raise by themselves. Your man clearly isn't ready and voiced it, and your willing to risk you and your child being alone because he could leave you for feeling betrayed and disrespected after he already told you he isn't ready??
Trapping a man with a pregnancy is NOT okay.

Ashdub07 · Answer

Lol not a year after she was two wtf. Until she was 2

Ashdub07 · Answer

Yes that's SO bad! Being pregnant will not simply change his mind. My husband was not interested in me OR our daughter until like a year after she was like 2. We weren't a couple when we got pregnant. But he didn't want a family then and his mind wasn't changed until HE was ready for a family. Don't be shady and have a baby that isn't wanted by both parents if you have the ability to control it. Not fair to the baby. Just sayin.

maybay · Answer

Bad idea. A friend of mine put holes in her husbands condoms so she could get preggo right after he got ouf if basic trainning and she later told him,after they had the baby. Well he lost all trust and lets say he has a hard time trusting her now. I think hes going for a vasectomy.