Thank you for reply. Yes if he’s stepping out behind my back it’s a serious breach. We’ve been together for a while and these unexplainable things occur every so often. Completely agree about massage place not using products with glitter. Plus (just thought of this) if he had inside underwear why wouldn’t it have been on the outside of shorts as he was putting shorts back on!? Nine of it makes any sense which is almost more infuriating then seeing the evidence. The fact that it’s all so ludicrous that he thinks I believe him, yet here I am…still with him! Thank you -
Well, I've gotten lots of massages - real, therapeutic ones - and don't end up with glitter anywhere and have nothing in my underwear.
I guess I'd ask why are you letting so much go. I mean, you are checking his underwear. This relationship isn't in a good place. I don't know if it's all just your distrust, or if it's your man actually doing stuff, but either way, this relationship isn't in a good place.
Thank you. We have been together a long time. Counseling is not an option as he is not admitting to any wrong doing. I’ve let these suspicious behaviors go but never forgotten so I am sensitive and on high alert when something doesn’t make sense. This is one of those things. I agree about massage places not using glitter unless it’s the kind that does happy ending. He has offered to take me to massage place….I may take him up on it. How he’s goin fro prove it if they don’t use glitter oil. Also (just thought Of this) why wouldn’t there have been glitter on shorts…..I appreciate your reply.
From the way you are discussing this, it sounds like you two have an agreement about being exclusive such that if he was stepping out, that would be a serious breach?
If so, in your shoes I'd be mad at him for the part of it you know from what he said, let alone what you suspect. A straightforward masseur or masseuse uses plain oil; there's no glitter product kicking around such that it would even be possible "some got on his hand." He got a massage on his "feet and legs" at the kind of massage place that uses oil that contains glitter. It's the story of a guy who went to the 'other' kind of massage parlor.
How long have the two of you been together, and how seriously have the two of you been thinking the relationship is? If this event and your suspicion of him getting a happy ending would be enough to blow up a long-term relationship, in your shoes I'd try counseling first. But if you haven't been together that long and it's been kind of loosely defined and you've suspected him of stepping out before, maybe you don't have much to lose if you walk away. Just depends on what you want. But it does sound like he will probably do it again unless something changes.
In a relationship, sometimes we have to think through things. How is your relationship? Do you get along? Do you feel he is prone to cheating? Would you be upset if he was aroused or if he had a happy ending? I think speculation is probably fruitless here but be observant. If you think he is cheating and lying to you, then that's something to figure out. But I'd let this go and look to what happens going forward. Analyzing stains on underwear is a bit much to figure out if your partner is cheating. Look at how the relationship feels, patterns, etc. I will say that I'd pay attention to how often your BF is going for massages. But he told you he was going. There was nothing covert here. He doesn't have to be lying because of the glitter.